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March 2007 IBPC Nominations, for April Comp |
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Mar 3 07, 17:25
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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This is extrememly well crafted and hard to believe it's Lori's first quantrain refrain. This posted in Herme's Homilies: Shadow's LandsQUOTE Shadow's Lands First Revision: TY John, Eric and Liz!
She slinks along through Shadow’s lands, aware of mortals’ mighty claw where skilled disciples deal their hands of destiny; she’ll not withdraw.
Tall torches raze a tepid night, emblazoned mark of high command consumes the chaos they invite; she slinks along through Shadow’s lands.
A camouflage of earthen tones incites a Vulture’s lynching law. They eat raw flesh; discard the bones aware of mortals’ mighty claw.
Adjudication comes to pass unlike combatants; she withstands content to bathe in fodder’s grass… where skilled disciples deal their hands.
Her world is changed, no more the prey as kindred Shadows rise in awe to venerate her life’s bouquet of destiny; she’ll not withdraw.
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Mar 3 07, 20:19
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hey Snow ... Excellent choice- I will put in a SECOND AND THIRD on this one. Lori's use of the form brings it to life, and each refrain line is so subtle that it blends in the poem without a notice to repetitiion. The subject is applaudable and this is surely a well written, professionally creative poem! Excellent Job Lori, and Excellent choice Snow! Hugs, Liz
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Mar 4 07, 00:43
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 322
Joined: 20-August 06
From: Minneapolis, Minnesota
Member No.: 217
Real Name: Timothy Blighton
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:justdaniel
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i know this isn't a crit area, but oh man, i love "torches raze a tepid night" that's both musical, vivid and original a line. Since Liz has second and thirds, i'll take sloppy fourths....... ~tim/azurepoetry
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Mar 4 07, 09:48
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Wow! This is a nice eye opener this morning! Thank you very much Snow, Liz (for the inspiration, vote of confidence and creator of this form) and Tim, for the fourths and comment on that line (I like that one too). Please feel free to offer commentary if you like Tim in Herme's where this is posted, I'd love to hear from you further. again! ~Lori
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 4 07, 18:17
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Ah Tim, no part take could possibly be sloppy coming from you! Tell ya what, I'll share my third - if I can take the fifth! LOL Good Luck Lori, this is an exceptional poem! Hugs all, Liz
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Mar 7 07, 04:47
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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I'd like to nominate Horsetales by Merlin, found in Herme's, a reverse rictameter, looks stunning on the page and is a well crafted tale, with beautiful imagery. QUOTE His horse was saddled, standing at the rail while Josh took one more look into the mirror hanging from its peg wedged in a crack outside his shack. Today he'd shaved, put on clean pants and shirt; he had a date. His horse was saddled, standing at the rail. They headed down the trail to Susan's house, along a jagged line fence through an aspen grove; a doe and fawn looked up, surprised, and maybe just a touch or two annoyed. Lighthearted, Josh rode along; they headed down the trail to Susan's house. It was his special place - a hidden lake and alpine blossom meadow-green where pastel wildwood rose and lupine joined to make enchantment of an unspoiled wonderland. A loon trills out its haunting song; it was his special place - a hidden lake.
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Mar 7 07, 06:22
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Oh, this looks neat! I haven't had a chance to read or comment on this one yet Snow, but am looking forward to it! I've sent Eric the permission form via PM. Cheers ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 7 07, 08:52
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Great Nomination! There is well chiselled skill within this Reverse Rictameter and only a true bard could make it dance as Eric!
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Mar 7 07, 08:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hey Just wondering has this been given permission (HAHAAAHAA Only Kidding)
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Mar 7 07, 12:45
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Permission granted and thanks again!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 7 07, 16:15
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Ah you silly - I saw you did! LOL Congrats, this has a great shot at IBPC- it holds depth, talent and poetic skills!
Hugs, Liz
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Mar 12 07, 10:14
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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I would like to nominate this poem for its excellence in poetic devices, techniques, smooth story-line, which I found original and quite creative. I enjoyed this poem and the lovely flow of sounds and ease in read. The subject maintains an interesting angle that holds the readers attention till the final line, which I found to be applaudable. This is posted in Herme's Homilies: http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9753:) QUOTE To Flanders Fields
Revision 1
It didn’t end – still poppies grow upon those graves of long ago where soldiers’ bones forever lie; they marched to war, to fight and die in trenches steeped in mud or snow. Bombs were invented that could blow a city off the map, or mow an army down like ripened rye – it didn’t end.
Now comes a different, nameless foe whose prime objective is to throw his life unto the promised sky, achieving martyrdom thereby; and all the while, more blood will flow – it didn’t end.
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Mar 12 07, 11:35
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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I would enjoy nominating this poem by Snow. The poems subject uses the beauty of horse and narrator growing up and older together, of going through seasons of life. This is done softly, to enhance the loveliness of their relationship, there is gentleness in the imagery. The detailed descriptions bring the poem to life as I read through, and I feel the Poem ends on a very vital and pivotal message. This is written with excellent skill, loveliness and wonderful sonics through out. Good Luck with this. This is posted in Seren's Synapse: http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9286QUOTE My Life Gallops
The foal teeters on scattered hay; I yell fiercely upon delivery in the farmhouse.
She grows in hands while I inch up in feet. Clip-clop she trots taking me in my buggy to hear the black sheep baa on Old MacDonald's Farm.
I groom my Morgan's coat, straddle her leather saddle and canter her within the stable yard. I hanker for adventure outside these walls, to race across cornfields verging on verdant hills.
Gidd-up! The filly gallops through poppy strewn meadows. I ride bare-back, hair ruffled, exhilarated by crimson splashes and wafts of fresh cut hedge-ways.
We stumble on stony ground, as my jaded mare lopes across acres of faded daisies and desiccating acacia trees.
I see the undulating horizon but reins slip, my weary hands begin to lose their grip. My horse won't stop, I can't dismount -- take time to see the scenery. She hurtles on past balding trees, jumping across frosted hurdles.
Whoa! Skidding on ice-flecked track she catapults me downward; whinnies resound as gravity snatches her -- body breaking.
I gaze toward distant hills, cling to her, both shaking.
We wait ... I hear the shot ... feel no more pain.
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Mar 13 07, 05:55
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Mar 12 07, 16:37 ) Permission PM Sent Thanks for nominating this Liz. I've sent my permission form back. Hugs Snow
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Mar 13 07, 08:08
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
Member No.: 10
Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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QUOTE (Eisa @ Mar 13 07, 06:55 ) QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Mar 12 07, 16:37 ) Permission PM Sent Thanks for nominating this Liz. I've sent my permission form back. Hugs Snow Thanks Snow this is beautiful - big hugs, Liz
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Mar 13 07, 18:30
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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I'd like to nominate Daniah's poem "Words" located in our Shambhalan Sanctuary forum for its sultry imagery. The connection two lovers share is wonderfully and beautifully expressed in this poem. http://forums.mosaicmusings.net/index.php?showtopic=9776Cheers ~Cleo QUOTE Words
I beguile you with words, spraying the musky scent of desire in wafts that linger deep beneath your cutis.
I tongue you with words, feel you levitate beneath me, moaning from sensations- the melodies of my name.
I treat you with words, sow seeds of compliance, in the wake of my needs; beneath the weeds of your eccentricities.
I drown you with words, discern the heaviness within our folds, as we tremble beneath engulfing tides.
Doused we await words anew.
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 13 07, 18:58
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,547
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Member No.: 13
Real Name: Daniah
Writer of: Poetry
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Mar 13 07, 23:38 ) Permission PM sent Lori, thanks so much for the nomination. I've replied and sent the permission form back. Hugs dani
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Mar 13 07, 19:05
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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You are most welcome Daniah!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 13 07, 19:36
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Mosaic Master
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 4,599
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Birmingham, England
Member No.: 12
Real Name: Eira Needham
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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I second this with applause! Snow
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Mar 14 07, 08:53
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,547
Joined: 4-August 03
From: Jeddah, Saudi Arabia
Member No.: 13
Real Name: Daniah
Writer of: Poetry
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Eira, Thanks so much for the applause honey. hugs Dani
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