The Poet’s Pallet, Wizard Award ~ The color of his words. Options

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

This is a poem I wrote in October of 2003. It is one I am considering for a first collection of poems and really want to refine it. Thus any and all help will be greatly appreciated. The coloring of each stanza is intentional so you may have to highlight some of them depending on the color of your skins.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Poet’s Pallet

The Poet yellow
basks in sunlight
reflecting the beauty
that surrounds him
painting pictures
in season hues
ever mindful
of God's great gifts

The Poet orange
good humor brings
sometimes to share
the joys of play
at others to hide
his pain within
yet gives to us
the gift of laughter

The Poet red
reveals deep passions
tempting us
with erotic tones
lighting fires of
lust and love
his words affect us
and leave us spellbound

The Poet violet
sings of serenity
sharing peaceful moments
with gentle words
reminding us of God's love
and guidance through the storms
the language of hope
that lifts us from despair

The Poet blue
sheds tears for all
feeling our pain
and loneliness
so touching are his words
we can not deny these feelings
born from the depth
of the heart's confusion

The Poet green
lashes out in envy
exposing doubts and fears
seeking sympathy for his suffering
anger revealed when he feels threatened
defending his honor
desperately speaking
to save his dignity

The Poet pink
plays innocently
bringing back memories
of youthful folly
childlike tones bring joy
to transcend time
how we love those moments
to feel young again

The Poet teal
speaks with pride
as he teaches us valued lessons
upon cultures most diverse
much knowledge we receive
and greater appreciation gained
as we begin to understand
the beauty of variety

The Poet indigo
writes beneath the stars
weaving moonbeams
into love's canvas of silk
He speaks of longing
and hearts filled to the brim
of those moments most precious
where life truly begins

The Poet magenta
intrigues the mind
through surreal images
his words make us think
our thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from our own experience

The Poet black
hides himself well
for he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he so desires
to feed his own needs
his is a game played out
in deceit to torture innocent minds

The Poet gray
rises from the ashes
speaking boldly of injustice
defending the meek
his words rest upon the sword
slashing through confusion
he battles without as well as within
exposing truths and multiple sins

The Poet white
speaks words of wisdom
he dips into each and every color
upon the Poet pallet
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow
blessed are we
to receive such nourishment

So many colors upon the pallet
as authors we appreciate this tool
for it releases the creativity within
and the essence of our souls
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends
the magic of words
is a blessing to be told

Thus
choose your colors wisely

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Artwork: Insert photo from movie "Shakespeare In Love"
This was a graphic I created at the time to accompany this poem.

Attached File(s)

 poetpallet.gif ( 52.49K ) Number of downloads: 24

 

[JLY]

Jackie,

First of all, your concept of creating colorful themes works for me. I particularly was fond of Poet Red.

I found your summary/final stanza to be a thorough depiction of what you wanted to convey.

In this line, I don't think you need and
and leave us spellbound
perhaps

leaving us spellbound

I noticed you didn't use any punctuation; is that by design? There are many places that could use it to identify a pause in the flow of your words.

I much enjoyed these lines:
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends
the magic of words
is a blessing to be told

Jackie, this poem has something for everyone. I am hopeful that you will get a lot of people to take the time to read it.
Very well written.
JLY

[Guest_Cathy_*]

This is a poem I wrote in October of 2003. It is one I am considering for a first collection of poems and really want to refine it. Thus any and all help will be greatly appreciated. The coloring of each stanza is intentional so you may have to highlight some of them depending on the color of your skins.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

The Poet’s Pallet

The Poet yellow
basks in sunlight Instead of using simply 'sunlight' (since you are being poetic and emphasizing color) what about 'gilded light'? It waxes a bit more poetic and still eludes to the color yellow.
reflecting the beauty
that surrounds him Maybe 'reflective beauty surrounds him,'?
painting pictures
in season[ed] hues[,]
ever mindful
of God's great gifts

The Poet orange
good humor brings
sometimes to share
the {joys}[fun] of play
at others to hide
his pain within
yet gives to us
the {gift}[joy] of laughter Sometimes people don't like to use the same word twice and I didn't know if you were aware you had. This would be a way to avoid that if you wanted to.

The Poet red
reveals deep passions
tempt[ations]{ing us}
with erotic tones
{lighting}[kindling] fires of
lust and love
his words affect {us} 'effective' instead of 'affect'?
{and} leave us spellbound

The Poet violet
sings of serenity
sharing peaceful moments
{with} gentle words
remind{ing} us of God's love
{and} guidance through the storms
{the} language of hope
{that} lifts us from despair

The Poet blue
sheds tears for all
feel[s]{ing} our pain
and loneliness
so touching {are} his words
we can not deny {these} feelings
born from the depth
of the heart's confusion

The Poet green
lashes {out} in envy
exposing doubts[,] {and} fears
seeking sympathy for {his} suffering Would omitting 'his' make it sound like he is writing about others suffering, not just his own?
anger revealed when {he feels} threatened
defending his honor
desperately speaking
to save his dignity

The Poet pink
plays innocen[ce]{tly}
{bringing back}[seeking] memories
of youthful folly
childlike tones {bring joy}
{to} transcend time
how we love {those moments}
to feel young again

The Poet teal
speaks with pride
{as he} teaches us valued lessons
upon cultures most diverse
{much} knowledge we receive
{and} greater appreciation gained
{as} we begin to understand
{the} beauty [in]{of} variety

The Poet indigo
writes beneath {the} stars
weaving moonbeams
into love's canvas of silk 'silk canvas'
He speaks of longing
and hearts {filled to the} brim[ming]
of {those} moments most precious
{where} life truly begins

The Poet magenta
intrigues the mind
through surreal images
{his} words make us think
our thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from our own experience

The Poet black
hides himself well
{for} he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he {so} desires
to feed his own needs
{his is} a game played out
in deceit to torture innocent minds

The Poet gray
rises from {the} ashes
speak[s]{ing} boldly of injustice
defending the meek
his words rest upon the sword
slashing through confusion
{he} battles without as well as within
exposing truths and multiple sins

The Poet white
speaks words of wisdom
{he} dips into each {and every} color
upon the {Poet} pallet
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow
blessed are we
to receive such nourishment

So many {colors}[shades] upon the pallet
as authors we appreciate {this tool}
{for} it releases the creativity within
{and} the essence of our souls
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends
the magic of words
is a blessing to be told

Thus
choose your colors wisely Great ending! These last two verses sum it up nicely! As for the suggestions ... just my meager thoughts; use or lose as YOU see fit! *smiles* I love the concept of this poem no matter what. One other thought ... each verse begins 'The Poet "color"'. What about dropping 'The' and just using 'Poet Blue' for example?

I enjoyed the read! Thanks!

[b]The Poet’s Pallet

Poet Yellow
basks in gilded light
reflective beauty
surrounds him
painting pictures
in seasoned hues
ever mindful
of God's great gifts

Poet Orange
good humor brings
sometimes to share
the fun of play
at others to hide
his pain within
yet gives to us
the joy of laughter

Poet Red
reveals deep passions
temptations
with erotic tones
kindling fires of
lust and love
his words effective
leave us spellbound

Poet Violet
sings of serenity
sharing peaceful moments
gentle words
remind us of God's love
guidance through storms
language of hope
lifts us from despair

Poet Blue
sheds tears for all
feels our pain
loneliness
so touching his words
we can not deny feelings
born from the depth
of the heart's confusion

Poet Green
lashes in envy
exposing doubts, fears
seeking sympathy for suffering
anger revealed when threatened
defending his honor
desperately speaking
to save his dignity

Poet Pink
plays innocence
seeking memories
of youthful folly
childlike tones
transcend time
how we love
to feel young again

Poet Teal
speaks with pride
teaches us valued lessons
upon cultures most diverse
knowledge we receive
greater appreciation gained
we begin to understand
beauty in variety

Poet Indigo
writes beneath stars
weaving moonbeams
into love's silk canvas
speaks of longing
and hearts brimming
of moments most precious
where life truly begins

Poet Magenta
intrigues the mind
through surreal images
words make us think
our thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from our own experience

Poet Black
hides himself well
he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he desires
to feed his own needs
a game played out
in deceit to torture innocent minds

Poet Gray
rises from ashes
speaking boldly of injustice
defending the meek
his words rest upon the sword
slashing through confusion
battles without as well as within
exposing truths and multiple sins

Poet White
speaks words of wisdom
dips into each color
upon the pallet
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow
blessed are we
to receive such nourishment

So many shades upon the pallet
as authors we appreciate
it releases the creativity within
the essence of our souls
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends
the magic of words
is a blessing to be told

Thus
choose your colors wisely



Cathy[/b]

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Artwork: Insert photo from movie "Shakespeare In Love"
This was a graphic I created at the time to accompany this poem.

[Guest_Dove_*]

very beautiful. it gives the poet's pallet a great canvas of color, emotion and life.

fav. part:

The Poet black
hides himself well
for he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he so desires
to feed his own needs
his is a game played out
in deceit to torture innocent minds



i too noticed the lack of punctuation. kinda threw me off. you start each stanza with a capital wouldn't it make sense to make sentences and continue that? i don't know. just an opinion. also punctuation like commas would help the reader to know when to take a breathe or pause between thoughts and images.

also in stanza two, line 2 maybe "brings good humor" instead of "good humor brings"?

may all our paintbrushes be as colorful as this! :)

-dove

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Jackie,

First of all, your concept of creating colorful themes works for me. I particularly was fond of Poet Red.

I found your summary/final stanza to be a thorough depiction of what you wanted to convey.

In this line, I don't think you need and
and leave us spellbound
perhaps

leaving us spellbound

I noticed you didn't use any punctuation; is that by design? There are many places that could use it to identify a pause in the flow of your words.

I much enjoyed these lines:
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends
the magic of words
is a blessing to be told

Jackie, this poem has something for everyone. I am hopeful that you will get a lot of people to take the time to read it.
Very well written.
JLY

Thanks JLY,

I'm pleased you enjoyed this and I like your suggestions. Hopefully I can get around to editing it in the next couple of days.

I indeed need help with punctuation. This was written when I was just starting to write poetry and unfamiliar with form and such. I also have a phobia of punctuation which I am determined to overcome. Any help you can give me on that would be greatly appreciated.

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Jackie

You have used your artist’s eye very well to show how different colours express mood and behaviour. Throughout there is a reverence and respect for the gift of colour we have been given along with the ability to express what we see/think in words or paintings.

My husband is red/green colourblind and he misses out a lot. I can be wearing a bright pink jumper and he will see it as sort of grey. Green can look like brown. Red traffic lights are white.

Thanks for the read

Nina

I have made quite a few suggestions but it is entirely up to you whether you use them or not and how much or little. I have also added punctuation to make it easier to read but please do ignore if you prefer not to have punctuation.

[add] {delete} comment


The Poet’s Pal{l}et[te]

The Poet yellow
basks in sunlight[,]
reflecting {the} beauty
{that surrounds}[around] him[;]
painting pictures
in season[‘s] hues[;]
ever mindful
of God's great gifts

The Poet orange
[brings]good humor [:]{brings}
sometimes to share
the joy{s} of play
{at others}[other times] to hide
his pain {within}
yet [he]gives {to} us
{the} laughter[‘s gift.]

The Poet red
reveals deep passions[:]
tempting us
with erotic tones[;]
lighting fires of
lust and love[.]
{h}[H]is words affect us[;]
{and} leave us spellbound[.]

The Poet violet
sings of serenity[:]
sharing peaceful moments
with gentle words[;]
remind[er]{ing us} of God's love
and guidance through {the} storms[.]
{the}[A] language of hope
that lifts us from despair[.]

The Poet blue
sheds tears for all[,]
feeling our pain[,]
and loneliness[.]
{s}[S]o touching are his words[,]
we can{}not deny these feelings
born from the depth
of the heart's confusion

The Poet green
lashes out in envy[,]
exposing doubts[,] {and} fears[;]
seeking sympathy for his suffering[.]
{a}[A]nger {revealed}[flares] when he feels threatened;
[speaking desperately]
{defending} [to defend] his honor[;]
{desperately speaking}
to save his dignity

The Poet pink
plays innocently[,]}
bringing back memories
of youthful folly[.]
{c}[C]hildlike tones bring joy[,]
{to} transcend[ing] time[.]
{h}[H]ow we love {those moments}
to feel young again

The Poet teal
speaks with pride[:]
{as} he teaches {us valued}[valuable] lessons
{upon} [of diverse] cultures[.] {most diverse}
{m}[M]uch knowledge {we} receive[d;]
{and}greater appreciation gained
as we begin to understand
{the} [variety’s] beauty[.] {of variety}

The Poet indigo
writes beneath the stars[,]
weaving moonbeams
{I}[o]nto love's [silk] canvas[.] {of silk} these four lines are probably my favourite in the poem. Some wonderful imagery.
He speaks of longing[;]
{and} hearts {filled to the brim}[full] …cliché
of {those} [precious] moments {most precious}
where life truly begins[.] …I’m not sure you can pinpoint where life truly begins

The Poet magenta
intrigues the mind[:}
through surreal images
his words make us think[;]
{our} thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from {our own} experience[.] I think our own is already understood

The Poet black
hides himself well[:]
{for} he is all colors {held within}
drawing on each[,]
as he so desires
to feed his own needs[.]
{h}[H]is is a [deceitful] game played out
{in deceit} to torture innocent minds

The Poet gray
rises from the ashes
speaking boldly of injustice[;]
defending the meek[.]
{h}[H]is words rest upon the sword[,]
slashing through confusion[.]
{h}[H]e battles without {as well as}[and] within[,]
exposing truths and {multiple} sins[.]


The Poet white
speaks words of wisdom[,]
{he} dip{s}[ping] into each and every color
upon the Poet pal{l}et[te]
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow[.]
{b}lessed are we
to receive such nourishment[.]

So many colors upon the pa{l}let[te][.]
{as authors we}[Writers] appreciate this tool
for it releases {the} creativity {within} [b]…creativity can only come from within
and the essence of our souls
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends[,]
the magic of words
is a blessing[.] {to be told} …”told” limits it somewhat. Words could be read, heard, thought

Thus
choose your colors wisely

as others have said these last two verses sum up the essence of your poem


Thus

The Poet’s Palette

The Poet yellow
basks in sunlight,
reflecting beauty
around him;
painting pictures
in season‘s hues;
ever mindful
of God's great gifts.

The Poet orange
brings good humor:
sometimes to share
the joy of play,
other times to hide
his pain
yet he gives us
laughter‘s gift.

The Poet red
reveals deep passions:
tempting us
with erotic tones;
lighting fires of
lust and love.
His words affect us;
leave us spellbound.

The Poet violet
sings of serenity:
sharing peaceful moments
with gentle words;
reminder of God's love
and guidance through storms.
A language of hope
that lifts us from despair.

The Poet blue
sheds tears for all,
feeling our pain,
and loneliness.
So touching are his words,
we cannot deny these feelings
born from the depth
of the heart's confusion

The Poet green
lashes out in envy,
exposing doubts, fears;
seeking sympathy for his suffering.
Anger flares when he feels threatened;
speaking desperately
to defend his honor;
to save his dignity

The Poet pink
plays innocently,
bringing back memories
of youthful folly.
Childlike tones bring joy,
transcending time.
How we love
to feel young again

The Poet teal
speaks with pride:
he teaches valuable lessons
of diverse cultures.
Much knowledge received;
greater appreciation gained
as we begin to understand
variety’s beauty.

The Poet indigo
writes beneath the stars,
weaving moonbeams
onto love's silk canvas.
He speaks of longing;
hearts full
of precious moments
where life truly begins.

The Poet magenta
intrigues the mind:
through surreal images
his words make us think;
thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from experience.

The Poet black
hides himself well:
he is all colors
drawing on each,
as he so desires
to feed his own needs.
His is a deceitful game
played out
to torture innocent minds.

The Poet gray
rises from the ashes,
speaking boldly of injustice;
defending the meek.
His words rest upon the sword,
slashing through confusion.
He battles without and within,
exposing truths and sins.


The Poet white
speaks words of wisdom,
dipping into each and every color
upon the Poet palette
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow.
Blessed are we
to receive such nourishment.

So many colors upon the palette.
Writers appreciate this tool
for it releases creativity
and the essence of our souls.
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends,
the magic of words
is a blessing.

Thus
choose your colors wisely

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi Cathy,

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. You have given me much to think about and I'll be using most of your suggestions. I was pretty new to poetry when I wrote this but decided to place it as is for better feedback.

the {gift}[joy] of laughter Sometimes people don't like to use the same word twice and I didn't know if you were aware you had. This would be a way to avoid that if you wanted to.

I agree. Thanks for pointing it out. Being dyslexic I don't always catch these, especially in my own work.

{lighting}[kindling] fires of
lust and love
his words affect {us} 'effective' instead of 'affect'?
{and} leave us spellbound

I like both of these suggestions

The Poet violet
sings of serenity
sharing peaceful moments
{with} gentle words
remind{ing} us of God's love
{and} guidance through the storms
{the} language of hope
{that} lifts us from despair

I see where you are going with suggestions such as these. Sometimes I can write very cryptic poems but at others I feel pulled to more complete sentences (though not totally constructed as such). After reading your notes I am falling somewhere in the middle on this piece. I will most likely use a good share of your suggestions but leave some lines as they are. I appreciate the viewpoint though.

One suggestion, if I may. Being dyslexic and a very visual person, I had a little trouble noting your suggestions quickly. Though not necessary it would be helpful if you made them bold. Just a thought to help me. Not everyone has that difficulty.

seeking sympathy for {his} suffering Would omitting 'his' make it sound like he is writing about others suffering, not just his own?

I can understand your thoughts but it was my intent to point out the selfish act in such a poet. (admittedly I have been a green poet at times) I wanted to keep it more personal in that way.

anger revealed when {he feels} threatened

But I do like this suggestion.

The Poet pink
plays innocen[ce]{tly}
{bringing back}[seeking] memories
of youthful folly
childlike tones {bring joy}
{to} transcend time
how we love {those moments}
to feel young again

I think I prefer innocently but do like seeking better and the rest of your suggestions here.

speaks with pride
{as he} teaches us valued lessons

I think "teaching us" might suit me. I think I'll be reworking the rest of this stanza.

into love's canvas of silk 'silk canvas'
He speaks of longing
and hearts {filled to the} brim[ming]
of {those} moments most precious
{where} life truly begins

I like 'silk canvas' and brimming.

{for} he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he {so} desires

This makes sense. I have a tendency to wander into speaking forsoothly, especially back when I wrote this and still heavy into the medieval genre'.

So many {colors}[shades] upon the pallet
as authors we appreciate {this tool}
{for} it releases the creativity within
{and} the essence of our souls

I like these suggestions.

I love the concept of this poem no matter what. One other thought ... each verse begins 'The Poet "color"'. What about dropping 'The' and just using 'Poet Blue' for example?

I'm so glad you liked the poem as a whole. Will have to think about this suggestion more as having 'The' just seems better for me. But I could be wrong.

Thank you for all the time spent doing such a detailed review. It has been most helpful. Hopefully I can do some editing and repost sometime soon.

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hmmmmm... I don't know why the quotes didn't show up properly in my last post. Anyone know what I did wrong or how to correct it?

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi Dove and thanks for the compliment.

very beautiful. it gives the poet's pallet a great canvas of color, emotion and life.

fav. part:

The Poet black
hides himself well
for he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he so desires
to feed his own needs
his is a game played out
in deceit to torture innocent minds
i too noticed the lack of punctuation. kinda threw me off. you start each stanza with a capital wouldn't it make sense to make sentences and continue that? i don't know. just an opinion. also punctuation like commas would help the reader to know when to take a breathe or pause between thoughts and images.

also in stanza two, line 2 maybe "brings good humor" instead of "good humor brings"?

may all our paintbrushes be as colorful as this! :)

-dove

See my response to JLY on punctuation. I definately need help in adding that. I may reword 'good humor' as came from my tendency to speak foresoothly on some pieces, especially on some I hadn't intended to do so with.

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hello there, Nina,

As usual you have given a very concise and extremely helpful review. I am always in awe of how well you can pinpoint those things that truly improve a piece. Take note that I will put most all of your suggestions to good use when I can take time to edit and post a revision.

My husband is red/green colourblind and he misses out a lot. I can be wearing a bright pink jumper and he will see it as sort of grey. Green can look like brown. Red traffic lights are white.

I have known others who are color blind. Color is so keen in my life that I feel sorry for those who are physically unable to see them in all their brilliance.

where life truly begins[.] …I’m not sure you can pinpoint where life truly begins

I see your point. Any suggestions for how I may reword this?

from {our own} experience[.] I think our own is already understood

Good point. It is items such as this that I need a lot of work with. As you may have noticed from reviewing so much of my work that I tend to be a bit wordy.

is a blessing[.] {to be told} …”told” limits it somewhat. Words could be read, heard, thought

Again you have pointed out something I need to be more aware of when writing.

I am glad everyone likes the ending. When I shared this online before there were many that felt it was just too long and I should cut out a few stanzas. I haven't been able to bring myself to do that. What are your thoughts about the length and if you feel something should be cut for length, what would you suggest.

Thanks again for all your help on this and other works. You are a dear!

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Hi Jackie!

Hi Cathy,

Thanks for the wonderful feedback. You have given me much to think about and I'll be using most of your suggestions. I was pretty new to poetry when I wrote this but decided to place it as is for better feedback.

I have some pieces like that, I just haven't taken the time to go back to them. lol

the {gift}[joy] of laughter Sometimes people don't like to use the same word twice and I didn't know if you were aware you had. This would be a way to avoid that if you wanted to.

I agree. Thanks for pointing it out. Being dyslexic I don't always catch these, especially in my own work.

I didn't realize. You certainly can't tell! *smiles* I know some don't mind repeating words like this and then there some have been taught it's a no-no. I kinda straddle the fence on this one cause sometimes you can't help it or it just feels right.

{lighting}[kindling] fires of
lust and love
his words affect {us} 'effective' instead of 'affect'?
{and} leave us spellbound

I like both of these suggestions

Cool!

The Poet violet
sings of serenity
sharing peaceful moments
{with} gentle words
remind{ing} us of God's love
{and} guidance through the storms
{the} language of hope
{that} lifts us from despair

I see where you are going with suggestions such as these. Sometimes I can write very cryptic poems but at others I feel pulled to more complete sentences (though not totally constructed as such). After reading your notes I am falling somewhere in the middle on this piece. I will most likely use a good share of your suggestions but leave some lines as they are. I appreciate the viewpoint though.

The poem is yours and must remain so. Do what your heart tells you to do. In the end only you know how you want it to come across and how best to accomplish that. *smiles*

One suggestion, if I may. Being dyslexic and a very visual person, I had a little trouble noting your suggestions quickly. Though not necessary it would be helpful if you made them bold. Just a thought to help me. Not everyone has that difficulty.

Oh, I'm so sorry you had trouble figuring out my scribbles. I used to do them all in bold and I couldn't tell you why I stopped but I will remember that from now on.

seeking sympathy for {his} suffering Would omitting 'his' make it sound like he is writing about others suffering, not just his own?

I can understand your thoughts but it was my intent to point out the selfish act in such a poet. (admittedly I have been a green poet at times) I wanted to keep it more personal in that way.

I see your point! In that case, I withdraw my suggestion! lol

anger revealed when {he feels} threatened

But I do like this suggestion.

The Poet pink
plays innocen[ce]{tly}
{bringing back}[seeking] memories
of youthful folly
childlike tones {bring joy}
{to} transcend time
how we love {those moments}
to feel young again

I think I prefer innocently but do like seeking better and the rest of your suggestions here.

That's ok ... it was just a thought! *smiles*

speaks with pride
{as he} teaches us valued lessons

I think "teaching us" might suit me. I think I'll be reworking the rest of this stanza.

That works too ...

into love's canvas of silk 'silk canvas'
He speaks of longing
and hearts {filled to the} brim[ming]
of {those} moments most precious
{where} life truly begins

I like 'silk canvas' and brimming.

*smiles*

{for} he is all colors held within
drawing on each
as he {so} desires

This makes sense. I have a tendency to wander into speaking forsoothly, especially back when I wrote this and still heavy into the medieval genre'.

I just didn't see it as necessary. A matter of preference most likely! lol

So many {colors}[shades] upon the pallet
as authors we appreciate {this tool}
{for} it releases the creativity within
{and} the essence of our souls

I like these suggestions.

Cool!

I love the concept of this poem no matter what. One other thought ... each verse begins 'The Poet "color"'. What about dropping 'The' and just using 'Poet Blue' for example?

I'm so glad you liked the poem as a whole. Will have to think about this suggestion more as having 'The' just seems better for me. But I could be wrong.

Wrong? No ... as a writer it's what we choose to think sounds best for our purpose. All of my comments are based on my opinion only ... I don't see right or wrong when I write or when I crit. It's what YOU think that counts! I just thought it might personalize each 'color' or 'poet', make it sound like you were referring to a person rather than a specific color maybe? Does that make any sense? lol

Thank you for all the time spent doing such a detailed review. It has been most helpful. Hopefully I can do some editing and repost sometime soon.

You are most welcome! I look forward to seeing what you do with it! And thanks for posting, I love the direction you took with it in describing the different outlooks from an artist's POV. Let me know when you post your revision!

Cathy

Hey! My quotes didn't work either! LOL

[Imhotep]

Hi all. There was a limit on the number of quotes/message, as well as a limitation on quotes-in-quotes. I've removed them and taken the liberty of fixing the messages above.

Enjoy!
I

[Guest_Cathy_*]

Thank you Imhotep!

[Guest_Nina_*]

Hi Jackie

I am glad everyone likes the ending. When I shared this online before there were many that felt it was just too long and I should cut out a few stanzas. I haven't been able to bring myself to do that. What are your thoughts about the length and if you feel something should be cut for length, what would you suggest.

I didn't think it was too long. Besides if you can't bring yourself to cut any out then keep it as it is. It's your poem after all and you have to be happy with the way it is.

Nina

[Mysty]

Hello .... You have had many wonderful suggestions that cover most all I think but I would like to add another suggestion for Stanza 1 . the line: in season hues. What about:in seasonal hues.?? Just a query of course..

This is a poem I wrote in October of 2003. It is one I am considering for a first collection of poems and really want to refine it. Thus any and all help will be greatly appreciated. The coloring of each stanza is intentional so you may have to highlight some of them depending on the color of your skins.

The Poet’s Pallet

The Poet yellow
basks in sunlight
reflecting the beauty
that surrounds him
painting pictures
in season hues
ever mindful
of God's great gifts

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi Jackie.

What a very unique way to create a poem that I, as the reader, can imagine fitting into these pallets of design. I enjoyed the descriptions of each color and the pairing of them to habits, emotions, actions of the poet. The colors also add charm to this as well.

My personal favs:
The Poet magenta
intrigues the mind
through surreal images
His words make us think
our thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from our own experience

The Poet white
speaks words of wisdom
He dips into each and every color
upon the Poet pallet
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow
blessed are we
to receive such nourishment


Well done!
~Cleo

One note of personal opinion: I would not make the word ‘poet’ capitalized unless you also capitalize the colors following ‘Poet’.

[+] {-}

The Poet yellow
basks in sunlight
reflecting the beauty
that surrounds him[;]
painting pictures
in season[ed] hues
ever mindful
of God's great gifts[.]

The Poet orange
[brings] good humor {brings}
sometimes to share
the joys of play
{at others} to hide
his pain within[;]
yet gives to us
the gift of laughter[.]

The Poet red
reveals deep passions
tempting us
with erotic tones
lighting fires of
lust and love[.]
His words affect us
and leave us spellbound[.]

The Poet violet
sings of serenity
sharing peaceful moments
with gentle words[.]
[He]remind[s]{ing} us of God's love
and guidance through the storms[-]
the language of hope
that lifts us from despair[.]

The Poet blue
sheds tears for all
feeling our pain
and loneliness[.]
So touching are his words
we (cannot) deny {these} feelings
born from the depth
of {the} heart's confusion[.]

The Poet green
lashes out in envy
exposing doubts and fears
seeking sympathy for his suffering[.]
[His] anger [is] revealed when {he feels} threatened
defending his honor
desperately speaking
to save his dignity[.]

The Poet pink
plays innocently
bringing back memories
of youthful folly[;]
childlike tones bring joy
to transcend time
{how we} [and] love those moments
to feel young again[.]

The Poet teal
speaks with pride
as he teaches us valued lessons
upon cultures most diverse[;]
{much} [plentiful] knowledge we receive
and greater appreciation gained
as we begin to understand
the beauty of variety[.]

The Poet indigo
writes beneath the stars
weaving moonbeams
into love's canvas of silk[.]
He speaks of longing
and hearts filled to the brim
of those moments most precious
where life truly begins[.]

The Poet magenta
intrigues the mind
through surreal images[.]
His words make us think
{our} thoughts dancing
in varied rhythms
as we each draw insight
from our own experience[s.]

The Poet black
hides himself well
for he is all colors held within[;]
drawing on each
as he so desires
to feed his own needs[.]
His is a game played out
in deceit to torture innocent minds[.]

The Poet gray
rises from the ashes
speaking boldly of injustice
defending the meek[.]
His words rest upon the sword
slashing through confusion
he battles without {as well as} and] within
exposing truths and multiple sins[.]

The Poet white
speaks words of wisdom[.]
He dips into each and every color
upon the Poet pallet
spreading them like raindrops
to help us grow[;]
blessed are we
to receive such nourishment[.]

So many colors upon the pallet
as authors we appreciate this tool
for it releases the creativity within
and the essence of our souls[.]
Be it for ourselves
or unto friends
the magic of words
is a blessing to be told[…]

Thus
choose your colors wisely[.]

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi all. There was a limit on the number of quotes/message, as well as a limitation on quotes-in-quotes. I've removed them and taken the liberty of fixing the messages above.

Enjoy!
I

Greetings Imhotep and thank you so much for fixing things. I'm sorry I didn't see this before now.

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi Jackie

I didn't think it was too long. Besides if you can't bring yourself to cut any out then keep it as it is. It's your poem after all and you have to be happy with the way it is.

Nina

Thank you Nina. I sometimes forget that not everyone prefers the short and swift. Thanks for reminding me there is a place for the long winded like me.

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi Mysti,

I sorry I didn't see and respond to this earlier.

You have had many wonderful suggestions that cover most all I think but I would like to add another suggestion for Stanza 1 . the line: in season hues. What about:in seasonal hues.?? Just a query of course..

This is a good suggestion and I will most likely use it. Thankyou.

[Guest_Rosemerta_*]

Hi Lori,

Thanks for the time spent going through this. I am always in much need of help with punctuation. It also brought this up and I noticed I had missed a few posts.

One note of personal opinion: I would not make the word ‘poet’ capitalized unless you also capitalize the colors following ‘Poet’.

This is a wonderful suggestion. I hadn't thought about it that way.

As you see, I haven't been keeping up with making revisions. I need to make time someday soon to sit down and go through all the works I have asked for help on. I've had so many wonderful suggestions from everyone that I need to put them into use before they are accidentally lost.

Thanks for the input.