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> Lanturne, 1-2-3-4-1
JustDaniel
post Oct 20 06, 08:04
Post #1


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Lanturne

The lanturne (or lanterne) is a five-line light verse evidently derived from Haiku and shaped like a Japanese lantern (hence the name) with a syllabic pattern of 1 2 3 4 1 syllables. Sometimes described as a half-cinquain there seems to be no particular requirement for subject matter, though the original intention may have been a statement of nature.

Generally, each line is a self-contained statement, such that the poem is not merely a sentence arbitrarily divided into syllables. Some suggest that the form should begin with a noun, with line 2 giving an action or description of the noun and lines 3 & 4 each giving a further description, and the 5th line offering another word for the noun, though not necessarily a synonym or even a noun. The form may or may not have a title, but it can be an integral part as the ‘sixth line’ of the poem.

snow
adrift
covering
ice where it may
fall


© MLee Dickens'son 25 Feb 2005

nose
sensing
what eye can’t
seeks to acquire
skill


© MLee Dickens'son 22 Feb 2005

naught
I ’ d r e a d
echoed sense
to comprehend
aught


© MLee Dickens'son 27 Feb 2005

food for thought

sleep
eschews
leaves quickly
with morning's break
fast


© MLee Dickens'son 24 March 2005


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JustDaniel
post Oct 20 06, 08:14
Post #2


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knight's wet

rain
falling
empties clouds
leaving his dreams
damp


© MLee Dickens'son 20 Oct 2006


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AMETHYST
post Oct 21 06, 14:57
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... Jester.gif


You have tempted me to try one on for size! wink.gif Please critqiue and teach me how to make them stronger! wink.gif



Home
longing
safe refuge
family, friends
hearth



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JustDaniel
post Oct 22 06, 10:38
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What is there to improve, Liz? Artist.gif

Liz
mentor
critiquer
par excellence
bard


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Cleo_Serapis
post Oct 22 06, 12:02
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This looks like a lot of FUN PartyFavor.gif Daniel.

All the examples are excellent (yours too Liz)! I also think this is like a 1/2 Cinquain. rofl.gif

Here's my attempt at this form:

Souls
Samhain
celebrate
faith's sacrifice
dead



Wonder if I should change 'dead' to 'ghouls' ?


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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AMETHYST
post Oct 22 06, 17:27
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Thank you for that nice compliment Daniel. I miss those cinquain threads we use to have... and this is a pretty interesting form to enjoy like that... wink.gif

Hugs, Liz

QUOTE
Liz
mentor
critiquer
par excellence
bard


Skill
teacher
meter mused
in Daniel's hand
craft



Hi Lori...

QUOTE
Souls
Samhain
celebrate
faith's sacrifice
dead



This is very powerful. I would say it would work quite well for the introduction to Holiday poems of the same theme, and or seasonal poetry for Autumn! :)

This is a very strong example, is this your first one? ...

Hugs, Liz


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Cleo_Serapis
post Oct 22 06, 17:47
Post #7


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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Oct 22 06, 18:27 ) *
Hi Lori...

QUOTE
Souls
Samhain
celebrate
faith's sacrifice
dead



This is very powerful. I would say it would work quite well for the introduction to Holiday poems of the same theme, and or seasonal poetry for Autumn! :)

This is a very strong example, is this your first one? ...

Hugs, Liz

Hi Liz.

Yes, this was my first Lanturne. I had All Hallows Eve on my mind. zombie.gif Thanks for your lovely compliment! cloud9.gif

Here's another:

Leaves
tumble
ground cover
speckled sienna...
Fall

and another (these are fun)

Witch
broomstick
pentacle
casting of spells
charmed
goodwitch.gif



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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

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JustDaniel
post Oct 22 06, 18:31
Post #8


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Addiction has begun!

leaves

flipping

turn yellow

'neath dog-ear'd tale

book


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JustDaniel
post Oct 24 06, 15:14
Post #9


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Nefertiti


Miz

who is

creative

not miscreant

Beth


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Guest_Cathy_*
post Oct 30 06, 10:11
Post #10





Guest






Scares
are near,
so beware
this Hallowed Eve.

Boo!


Happy Halloween all!
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 17 07, 11:49
Post #11


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Buds

flourish

blanketing

stems with dappled

blooms


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Jul 1 07, 17:39
Post #12


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O
l

bright

lanturnes

will soon light

Elizabeth's

porch


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AMETHYST
post Jul 1 07, 19:05
Post #13


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Ah ... Yes, I did try one on for size! Thank you Daniel for the lovely light to brighten my entry! wink.gif I will have to do a few more of these ...

Best to you, Liz


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Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

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JustDaniel
post Jul 1 07, 19:21
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You're welcome. I'd noted that you were about to review the params for the form, so I thought I'd offer another flicker to spark your re-entry!

hang
a round
till the dawn
has lit upon

yew

Lightly, Daniel sun.gif


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Cleo_Serapis
post May 23 08, 09:41
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Bulbs
blossom
garnishing
nature’s palette
Spring


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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AMETHYST
post Jun 11 08, 19:12
Post #16


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Hey Lori,

This is very vivid. I liked how L1/L5 off set one another, bulb/spring and how you've allowed each line to grow into a whole image. For a very short form, you've painted a very crisp picture. :)

Nicely done. Hugs, Liz


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Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here!

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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 12 08, 05:32
Post #17


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Thanks Liz - I've posted this one for crits over at Shogun's if you have any further thoughts.

Cheers
~Cleo gardener.gif


·······IPB·······

"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

"I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter

Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!

"Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Sep 6 09, 15:58
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lips

provide

impression

poet needs back

talk



© Daniel J Ricketts 26 Feb 2005


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JustDaniel
post Sep 14 11, 07:06
Post #19


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two

sparse years

spread out 'twixt

our responses

now


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JustDaniel
post Jan 25 12, 10:49
Post #20


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form

the sounds

to make words

reveal your light

style


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