Hi Cathy,
Beautiful display of the Quatern Form. Such phrases as "...spring rain whispers playfully,' and '...wedded to sweet waterfall." Lovely content through out the poem. There is little I see that trips me, if anything-but I will give comments in stanza and hopefully I might leave something that makes a difference.
Hugs, Liz
QUOTE
Spring Symphony
Wonderful Title!
The spring rain whispers playfully,
each one a carefree drop of dew;
when wedded to sweet waterfall,
will find a destination new.
Excellent first stanza. The sounds are delightful, the imagery is sublime and the meter is flawless. Done well.
Tap dance across the naked pond,
as spring rains whisper playfully.
So intimate, yet innocent;
flirtatious as a soul can be.
...across the naked pond, intimate/innocent all again, lovely to the ear and mind. L4, is weaker compared to the image it is to compliment. However, it isn't so weak that I would suggest changing it. Perhaps, just keeping the line in mind during any forth coming revisions.
They tickle newly sprouted leaves,
soft pitter-patter feeds the vein;
the spring rains whisper playfully,
while serving nature's sweet champagne.
Wonderful stanza.
The raindrops set toccata tones
with Mother Nature's harmony;
refreshing cloak that comforts earth,
as spring rains whisper playfully.
Excellent ending stanza. Not a nit. Sorry I couldn't offer anything worth your time. I loved the follow through of this and the gentleness in the tone, the innocence in the meaning and the sonics are delicious. Good poetry. Thank you and I enjoyed this very much.
Cathy Bollhoefer
copyright Dec2005