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> Words, Wizard Award ~ mentioned in Cathy's "Relentless Power"
Guest_Nina_*
post Aug 25 05, 01:33
Post #1





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When Cathy posted her poem "Relentless Power" it reminded me of one of the early poems I attempted to write. Having mentioned it to her in her thread, I thought I would post it on MM. I have had it critted on another board and for historical reasons I don't really want to revise it further.

I would, however, appreciate your comments.

Words

Do you know the effect,
Of words thoughtless spoken?
So terribly powerful,
Are the emotions awoken.

What is said can inspire me,
To reach so much higher,
Or kill creativity,
Like water on fire.

Words wrap around me,
So I’m never alone,
Or hurt like a knife,
Cutting sharp to the bone.

See the laughter, the joy,
The anger, the tears,
All churning inside me,
Exposing my fears.

Words wash over me,
Like waves on the beach,
The ripples created,
How far will they reach?

So speak your truth quietly,
With wisdom and care,
Of others’ sensitivities,
Be always aware.


Nina
 
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Guest_Toumai_*
post Aug 25 05, 02:22
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Hi, Nina

Thanks for this.

I particularly like the stanza:

Words wash over me,
Like waves on the beach,
The ripples created,
How far will they reach?

Each grain of sand was once part of a vast rock ... so I like that analagy: over time words have an immense effect.

Fran
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Aug 25 05, 02:43
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Hi Fran

Thanks for popping in to read this and commenting.

Each grain of sand was once part of a vast rock ... so I like that analagy: over time words have an immense effect.

I didn't know that, very interesting,

Thanks

Nina
 
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Guest_Jox_*
post Aug 25 05, 03:44
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Hi Nina,

Yes, I do remember this from last year on BBC-GW. Good to see it here, now.

I like the poem holistically so I won't pick any particular verse, nor phrase. However, Fran's selection is brill.

I think the sensitivity to words which you demonstrate in this poem helps to explain why you produce such excellent poetry.

Thank you for the read and for your poems.

J.
 
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jgdittier
post Aug 25 05, 08:12
Post #5


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Real Name: Ron Jones
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Dear Nina,
You've written a poem entitled "Words".
How totally appropriate to choose that short title!
As I see it, along with setting your words in a matrix of quality R&M, you've filled it with important thoughts so tersely put (short lines) that "The Word" becomes powerful. "The Word" simply demands the reader's attention.
Nicely done!
Cheers,    Ron Jones    jgd


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Ron Jones

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Aug 25 05, 09:36
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Hi J

Yes, I do remember this from last year on BBC-GW. Good to see it here, now.

grinning.gif

I like the poem holistically so I won't pick any particular verse, nor phrase. However, Fran's selection is brill.

Thank you

I think the sensitivity to words which you demonstrate in this poem helps to explain why you produce such excellent poetry.

Thank you for the read and for your poems.


oh Gosh.  Thank you seems a bit of an inadequate reply but really, thank you so much for these lovely words and for your helpful encouraging crit of this back on GW

Nina
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Aug 25 05, 12:19
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Hi Ron

You've written a poem entitled "Words".
How totally appropriate to choose that short title!


Thank you

As I see it, along with setting your words in a matrix of quality R&M, you've filled it with important thoughts so tersely put (short lines) that "The Word" becomes powerful. "The Word" simply demands the reader's attention.
Nicely done!


I so chuffed with your words, which coming from an R & M expert means a lot to me.

I hoped that "The Word" would come across as powerful because  I truly believe that words are terrribly powerful.  Used well they can be aspirational, used badly they can be a deadly weapon.  

I remember a saying that I used to be told

"sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me"  As a child I always thought that the saying was a lie and a con, both hurt just as much but in different ways and whereas you recover quite quickly from broken bones, the damage done by words can last forever.

Thanks so much for your kind comments, they are much appreciated.

Nina
 
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Cleo_Serapis
post Sep 11 05, 09:06
Post #8


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Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep



Hello Nina. smart.gif

Sorry I missed this piece when you first posted it. Your message is one we should all bathe ourselves in from time to time as a reminder that words can hurt or heal deeply.  :sun:

What is said can inspire me,
To reach so much higher,
Or kill creativity,
Like water on fire.


How true Nina! Communication can be so difficult based on interpretation.

So speak your truth quietly,
With wisdom and care,
Of others’ sensitivities,
Be always aware.


Solid words of wisdom Nina!

Thank you! bowdown.gif

~Cleo  :claps:


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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 11 05, 09:23
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Hi Lori

I'm pleased you found this eventually  :grinning:

Thanks for your comments.  People don't realise what an effect the words they say can have on someone.

We should all be sensitive in what we say to others.

Nina
 
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Aphrodite
post Sep 11 05, 17:34
Post #10


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Posts: 1,250
Joined: 2-August 03
From: USA
Member No.: 7
Writer of: Poetry



QUOTE (Nina @ Aug. 25 2005, 02:33)
When Cathy posted her poem "Relentless Power" it reminded me of one of the early poems I attempted to write.  Having mentioned it to her in her thread, I thought I would post it on MM.  I have had it critted on another board and for historical reasons I don't really want to revise it further.  

I would, however, appreciate your comments.

Words

Do you know the effect,
Of words thoughtless spoken?
So terribly powerful,
Are the emotions awoken.

What is said can inspire me,
To reach so much higher,
Or kill creativity,
Like water on fire.

Words wrap around me,
So I’m never alone,
Or hurt like a knife,
Cutting sharp to the bone.

See the laughter, the joy,
The anger, the tears,
All churning inside me,
Exposing my fears.

Words wash over me,
Like waves on the beach,
The ripples created,
How far will they reach?

So speak your truth quietly,
With wisdom and care,
Of others’ sensitivities,
Be always aware.


Nina

Hello Nina~

I enjoyed your emotive piece.
Below, I have left suggestions for revision. (because you asked)
Use or lose. ( )=add [ ]=omit

Words

Do you know the effect,
Of (thoughtless words) spoken?
So terribly powerful,
Are [the] emotions awoken(?)

What is said can inspire me,
To reach so much higher,
Or kill creativity,
Like water on fire.

Words wrap around me,
So I’m never alone,
Or (slice) like a knife,
(cutting) sharp to the bone.

See the laughter, the joy,
The anger, the tears,
All churning inside me,
Exposing my fears.

Words wash over me,
Like waves on the beach,
The ripples created,
How far will they reach?

So speak your truth quietly,
With wisdom and care,
Of others’ sensitivities,
Be always aware.

I look forward to reading the finished product!

Blessings~
Lindi


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"Imagination is more important than knowledge and encircles the world"
Albert Einstein

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 12 05, 00:50
Post #11





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Hi Lindi

Thanks for reading this and commenting. Thanks also for your suggestions though I think you misunderstood me.  I wasn't looking to revise this further as it has already been well critted on another site and I'm happy with it as it is.

Thanks anyway and I'm glad you liked it.

Nina
 
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Guest_Maxim_*
post Sep 23 05, 11:46
Post #12





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Hi Nina

This is a most poignant poem and the point, well made, is well worth making particularly in this age of instant images. For though these pictures may put instant visions of joys and tragedies before us, it is more often the words of those affected, or the words to those affected, that has most impact.

To paraphase an old saying:
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can break my heart

Thanks for sharing.


Maxim
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 23 05, 16:52
Post #13





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Hi Maxim

thanks for your comments.  I had't heard that phrase before but it is spot on, thanks for telling me about it.  It is so true.

Nina
 
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Guest_Maxim_*
post Sep 23 05, 18:53
Post #14





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QUOTE (Nina @ Sep. 23 2005, 22:52)
Hi Maxim

thanks for your comments.  I had't heard that phrase before but it is spot on, thanks for telling me about it.  It is so true.

Nina

Nina

The actual saying is "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me". It may be a UK saying or just a very old one or both. But it was what parents would teach their young kids to say when they were being called names. - Before they were old enough to know the truth! Hence my paraphrasing.

MaXiM
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 24 05, 00:21
Post #15





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Hi MaXim

I know very well the actual saying which I always thought was a load of rubbish.  What I meant was that I'd never heard your version which is so much better and I'll have to remember it for the future.

Nina
 
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Guest_Cathy_*
post Sep 26 05, 14:23
Post #16





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Hi Nina,

I don't usually venture into this forum but now I'm glad I did.  I remember you mentioning this poem when I posted Relentless Power.  I'm glad I got to read yours.

Do you know the effect,
Of words thoughtless spoken?
So terribly powerful,
Are the emotions awoken.

I don't think we stop often enough to "think before we speak".  Not realizing the effect of our words we just ramble on.

What is said can inspire me,
To reach so much higher,
Or kill creativity,
Like water on fire.

And so quickly too!

Words wrap around me,
So I’m never alone,
Or hurt like a knife,
Cutting sharp to the bone.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were always concerned with infusing comfort with our words?  The last two lines (not the actual lines since I'd not read this before, but the thoughts behind them) were what inspired my poem.  The devastating pain that can be caused by careless or intentional words.

See the laughter, the joy,
The anger, the tears,
All churning inside me,
Exposing my fears.

Words wash over me,
Like waves on the beach,
The ripples created,
How far will they reach?

How much damage can we cause?  *sad sigh*

So speak your truth quietly,
With wisdom and care,
Of others’ sensitivities,
Be always aware.

Lovely way to wrap up your thoughts!  I'm glad I got to see this.
Cathy
arwen.gif
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Sep 26 05, 16:25
Post #17





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Hi Cathy

I'm really pleased you came in here to read this because your poem Relentless Power dealt with the same notions.

I don't think we stop often enough to "think before we speak".  Not realizing the effect of our words we just ramble on.

Indeed and often nothing is meant by what we say, yet the words can have a powerful effect.

Words wrap around me,
So I’m never alone,
Or hurt like a knife,
Cutting sharp to the bone.

Wouldn't it be nice if we were always concerned with infusing comfort with our words?  The last two lines (not the actual lines since I'd not read this before, but the thoughts behind them) were what inspired my poem.  The devastating pain that can be caused by careless or intentional words.


Absolutely and having been on the receiving end of careless words I know the pain can be deeply felt, long lasting, leaving scars that never truly fade.

So speak your truth quietly,
With wisdom and care,
Of others’ sensitivities,
Be always aware.

Lovely way to wrap up your thoughts!  I'm glad I got to see this


Thanks Cathy
and I'm pleased you like it.

Nina
 
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jgdittier
post Oct 28 05, 17:02
Post #18


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Group: Platinum Member
Posts: 1,802
Joined: 24-April 04
From: Connecticut
Member No.: 58
Real Name: Ron Jones
Writer of: Poetry



Dear Nina,
This one hit the bullseye!
Cheers,    Ron   jgd


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Ron Jones

MM Award Winner
 
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Guest_Nina_*
post Oct 28 05, 17:17
Post #19





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Hi Ron

sun.gif

I'm glad this hit its mark.

thanks for reading  :grinning:

Nina
 
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Nefertiti
post Oct 30 05, 14:01
Post #20


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Member No.: 11
Real Name: Beth
Writer of: Poetry



HUH!  The computer just ate my post, Nina!  WAH!  Well, I guess that was its way of telling me I was doing a bit too much blathering! LOL!  It just plain old dispappeared!  :(

SO, I'll try a condensed version.  GREAT message!  Powerful descriptions.  Awesome analogies.  You rock!  

Big Hugs,
Nef


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