Am I a poet or do I work for a lawyer? Options

[Guest__*]

Am I a poet or do I work for a lawyer?

What am I, I ask,
what is underneath this mask?

Is it deception or truth, in what I owe,
or am I just a musing soul, to all who know?

All those shredded papers, I no longer see,
it is apparent, I have left them, for now I am me.

What about extra money, I could bank right now?
No thank you, I would rather, be working as a clown.

Years of lies and deceit, haunting words such as "sue,"
thank God, up above, for my conscience to leave you!

I write down my feelings, and remember before,
quiet moments of reflection, lawyer's arrogance, no more.

My lesson to make changes, is here for all to
view, poets do live forever, pondering thoughts, old and new.

[Aphrodite]

Am I a poet or do I work for a lawyer?

What am I, I ask,
what is underneath this mask?

Is it deception or truth, in what I owe,
or am I just a musing soul, to all who know?

All those shredded papers, not for me to see,
it is apparent, I have left them, for now I am me.

What about extra money, I could bank right now?
No thank you, I would rather, be working as a clown.

Years of lies and deceit, haunting words such as "sue,"
thank God, up above, for my conscious to leave you!

I write down my feelings, and remember before,
quiet moments of reflection, lawyer's arrogance, no more.

My lesson to make changes, is here for all to view, poets do live forever, pondering thoughts, old and new.

Hey Matti~

Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, two poems within one week, I think you are on a roll!

I enjoyed reading about your days of working as a paralegal, and your introspective message relating to "lack of longing."
(funny, how having kids changes life's perspective)

I am heading-put right now, but will be back with some suggestions.

[marquee]Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!!        [/marquee]

[Cleo_Serapis]

Am I a poet or do I work for a lawyer?

What am I, I ask,
what is underneath this mask?
Here - I would an ellispe...
What am I... I ask,
what is underneath this mask?

Is it deception or truth, in what I owe,
or am I just a musing soul, *to all who know?
*for all to know?

All those shredded papers, not for me to see,
it is apparent, I have left them, for now I am me.

What about extra money, I could bank right now?
No thank you, I would rather*, be working as a clown.
*No comma after rather. Perhaps, i would rather be a working clown?

Years of lies and deceit, haunting words such as "sue,"
thank God*, up above, for my conscious to leave you!
*No comma after God. 'left you'?

I write down my feelings, and remember before,
quiet moments of reflection, lawyer's arrogance, no more.

My lesson to make changes, is here for all to view,
poets do live forever, pondering thoughts, old and new.

nicely said!

Hey Shava! You're on a roll, wahoo!

I remember your sis telling me about your old job.....
It's always neat to let your 'muse' recollect what we know....

Great job!
Hugs!
~Cleo  :pharoah:

[Guest__*]

Dear Shava

"thank God, up above, for my conscious to leave you!"

I'm puzzled about "conscious" - either it is the wrong word - conscience, perhaps ?, or it is spelled wrong, or both LOL !

Or the sentance construction is wrong for the use you are making of it.

Too late in UK for me to search for dictionary, I'll leave that to you.

Love
Alan

[Aphrodite]

Am I a poet or do I work for a lawyer?

What am I, I ask,
what is underneath this mask?

Is it deception or truth, in what I owe,
or am I just a musing soul, to all who know?

All those shredded papers, not for me to see,
it is apparent, I have left them, for now I am me.

What about extra money, I could bank right now?
No thank you, I would rather, be working as a clown.

Years of lies and deceit, haunting words such as "sue,"
thank God, up above, for my conscious to leave you!

I write down my feelings, and remember before,
quiet moments of reflection, lawyer's arrogance, no more.

My lesson to make changes, is here for all to view, poets do live forever, pondering thoughts, old and new.

Hello Shava~

I am back to give you some suggestions. Use or lose.


What am I, I ask,
what is underneath this mask?

Is it deception or truth, in what I owe,
or am I just a musing soul, to all who know?

All those shredded papers, I no longer see,
it is apparent I have left them, for now I am me.

What about extra money, I could bank right now?
No thank you, I would rather be working as a clown.

Years of lies and deceit, haunting words such as "sue,"
thank God up above for my conscience to leave you!

I write down my feelings, and remember before,
moments of reflection, lawyer's arrogance, no more.

My lesson to make changes, is here for all to view,
poets do live freely, pondering thoughts, old and new.

I added a few words and tightened-up the stanzas a little.
I really enjoyed your poem and look forward to reading more of your work soon.

Take care~

Aphrodite

[Guest_Zeus˛_*]

Matti,
The poetry is far more entertaining, than hearing stories about ambulance chasing.
Nicely put.
z2   Larry

[Guest__*]

Hi Alan:

Thank you for bring this to my attention.  I was aware of the error but totally forgot to change it.  I appreciate your input.
Shava

[Guest__*]

Aphro:
Thanks for you suggestion.  I do like that better.  I appreciate your input.

Shava

[Guest__*]

Hello Zues:

Thank you for your words.  I could actually write a book on my experiences in the legal field.  I have seen quite a bit and it still haunts me even after 5 years of not working in a law firm.  

Thanks again,
Shava

[Guest__*]

Hey Cleo:

Thank you very much for commenting on my write.  I was reflecting on a firm that I worked at 10 years ago and It was quite disturbing what I witnessed.

Thanks again,
Shava

[Charon]

Enjoyed a bunch.  Having once been married to a paralegal.  And having to go through the terrible divorce (I didn't know that I was such an evil person).  I can relate.

Welcome to the real world, the fun side of life.  I enjoyed this immensely.  Thanks for sharing.

AtH

[Guest__*]

Dear Shava

"I could actually write a book on my experiences in the legal field.  I have seen quite a bit and it still haunts me even after 5 years of not working in a law firm."

Sounds to me like you should apply that old judo trick of using motion against you to your advantage - DO write that book, in a highly (allegedly) fictional style, full of satire and wit, from the viewpoint of "it isn't really this bad, folks .....", while knowing full well that it is. Best seller !

That would exercise the ghosts, probably exorcise them as well.

Love
Alan

[Nefertiti]

ARG!  LAWYERS!  Heaven help us all! (I worked for 2 - the more work one gave me, the more work the other would give me to make sure he got his money's worth of my salary. )

Great job writing out the agnst!  I just hope you're not permanently scarred from such a nightmarish experience!  

I see worthy and worth while crits have been offered already so I won't waste your time drivelling on about my need for commas everywhere!

Very nice!

Hugs,
Nef

[Guest_Brahms_*]

Comfortable entrance into choppy seas
we most have done our hours,
your legs cook well our cake
what'ever our ingrediant flou/w/er.

Sea-sick poet this morn,
Brahms

[Guest__*]

Dear AtH,

First of all, thank you for your nice comments on the poem, I wrote.  I feel sorry you had to go through the world wind of the law and I hope and pray that you are okay now.

God Bless,
Shava

[Guest__*]

Dear Nef:

Thank you for you responding to my poem. I would never let that experience over rule my life.  It is not worth the air that I breathe.

Thanks again.
Shava

[Guest__*]

Brahms:

Nice.  I really had to read what you wrote a few times to get what you were saying.

Thank you for responding.
Shava

[JustDaniel]

Shava, sis, Matti, Marcia, or whichever it is . . .

I'd like to see what you do with the suggestions you've gotten so far with a revision to offer anything further.

I'm new on this block, so I ain't about to jump in where I ain't welcome.  Good ponderin' here on where you've been and don't want to return!

Write on!

Lightly, Daniel  :sun:

[Guest__*]

Hi Daniel:

Thanks for your comments.  I don't think, I am going to change anything else with this one.  I did take some suggestions and like the way it turned out.  Thanks again,

Matti :)