Limerick, Poetic Form Exercise Options

[Larry]

An old farmer expired in his prime;
not from work, which he thought was sublime.
By ten sons he was blessed
but his wife’s last request,
“that they try for a girl one more time?”

[JustDaniel]

It's so sad that he couldn't produce
what his wife wanted for her caboose
but he went out in style
and his seed was fertile
so she saved it for some later use.

[Larry]

Progeny, cryogenically sought
will suffice if they’re properly wrought.
Combined wrong; X and Y’s
make androgynous guys
with mutations inherently fraught.

[JustDaniel]

X and Y make me ZZZZ; what's the use!
At my age, it is hard to produce
scientific thought-waves.
Oft the dinner-bell saves
me from using up all mental juice.

[Larry]

Mental juice? Is that food for the mind
or just liquids from fruit you might find
locked in small padded cells?
A solution which quells
muddled thoughts and helps one to unwind.

[JustDaniel]

If you're wound up too tight you could break
your coiled muscles; your heart springs might rake
on your rib cage and tear
through your lungs. It would scare
anyone who might come to your wake.

[Larry]

Ah, the wake! I became legless there
in the midst of dear friends, no despair
For when toasting dead chums
it is best to have drums
of good ale he’d made for the affair.

[JustDaniel]

It is foolish to have an affair
though you seem to be so debonair...
but your vision is short;
you cannot long cavort
without more than your butt lying bare.

[Larry]

Lying Bear was his Indian name,
not “Smokey the Bear” of TV fame.
Cigarettes he would light
from their campfires at night,
throwing butts everywhere. Oh, the shame!

[JustDaniel]

Old Lion Bear-Faced wagged his tails
but no one would follow his trails
for who would believe
the stories he'd weave?
Perhaps he'll try used-auto sales.

[Larry]

When the hurricane neared my abode
my resolve to depart overflowed
but alas, I’m too late,
house is gone, left to fate
and my used auto sails down the road.

[JustDaniel]

He huffed and he puffed and he blew
the candles but couldn't subdue
the flames, so they'd melt.
The frosting then felt
like barnacles on his canoe.

[Alan]

Timbuctoo Fashion

Like barnacles on his canoe ?
Yes, the very latest to do;
it is the fashion,
fulfilled with passion,
from here, right to Timbuctoo !

Alan

[JustDaniel]

Little Timmy the colt couldn't woo
any filly 'cause him they'd construed
un-athletic and soft,
so quite often they scoffed
'til the rodeo; there Tim bucked too!

[Larry]

Tim's buck tooth was protuberantly
a dentitional anomoly.
Beavers blushed at the sight,
covetous. It just might
be an asset when downing a tree.

[Alan]

DOWNING OR DROWNING - SAME THING

Downing's a Street, that's for sure
lived in by the ever so pure
Who tell us what to do
and make such a howdy do
Cuz of problems they're part, not the cure ....

Alan

[Larry]

Is the taste of this cure bittersweet
in the mouths of those burning the street.
Wanting change, their descent
to maniacal bent,
makes their homeless condition complete.

[Alan]

TAXED BEYOND ENDURANCE

I'm homeless, as a soul who would give
in world where only takers can live
my cupboard is bare
the tax-man's been there
now there are even holes in my sieve !

Alan McAlpine Douglas

[Larry]

When the tax-man had taken his pelf;
cleared the pantry of all but the shelf.
He still wanted my sieve
and replied, give and give
‘till it hurts, so you won’t strain yourself.

[Alan]

METHALISED

So you think tax-man's grab stops at death ?
Escape can be made solely via meth
which rots down your brain
you care nowt 'bout tax drain
and hastens your last, so smelly, breath !

Alan