 Short Story Exercise 5, Come visit here and comment! |
 Jan 7 05, 06:25
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
Hello all!
 I for one am trying to learn HOW to SHOW a scene more than TELL a scene. Why not help us all out and give an example here of exactly HOW one could do that? Let's start with a few 'items' to write about and see what responses come to this thread? There is a door (half-open) leading to ?? (WHERE)?? Choose a character name. WHAT is this person doing? Instead of: She walked slowly to the door, half-opened, with light flickering beyond... HOW would you describe this scene by SHOW rather than TELL? Cheers! ~Cleo 
·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
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Posts in this topic
Cleo_Serapis Short Story Exercise 5 Jan 7 05, 06:25 
Jox Hi Lori,
What distinction are you making here? I... Jan 7 05, 12:50 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (Jox @ Jan. 07 2005, 12:50)Hi Lori,
Wh... Jan 7 05, 12:54 Jox Lori,
Hi. Thanks.
Sorry, I've no idea what t... Jan 7 05, 13:46 Toumai Hi Lori and James,
When I have heard the phrase ... Jan 7 05, 14:18 Jox Ta, Fran,
Yes, that makes sense and is good advic... Jan 7 05, 14:26 Cleo_Serapis Ahhhhhh OK Fran! :sun: :sun: :su... Jan 7 05, 18:03 Charon This is very interesting. I for one abhor di... Jan 7 05, 20:45 Jox Hi Butch,
Good point - but when reading others... Jan 7 05, 21:01 Morgan le Fay Hi Lori!
My short answer would be, " it's... Jan 8 05, 00:36 Toumai Hello, what an interesting discussion you have her... Jan 8 05, 05:20 Jox Hi Fran,
Thank you very much for that. I have rea... Jan 8 05, 05:51 Charon What great conversation.
I have looked back upon ... Jan 8 05, 09:19 Cleo_Serapis Hello everyone!
YES - this certainly IS a good... Jan 8 05, 10:41 Perrorist Hi, Lori
I think the essence of "show don't t... Jan 8 05, 15:18 Jox Butch - that was interesting - thanks very much.
... Jan 8 05, 17:03 Cleo_Serapis Hello Perry. :tigger:
Thank you so much fo... Jan 8 05, 17:13 Cailean IMO, Butch/Charon has nailed it. It's overdeta... Jan 8 05, 19:32 Cleo_Serapis Thanks so much Cailean!
You have offered to me th... Jan 9 05, 08:21 Charon She walked slowly to the door, half-opened, with l... Jan 9 05, 12:51 Toumai I'll let you know if it was scary once I dare ... Jan 9 05, 13:59 Jox Wow! Butch... it's in the bag!
I enjo... Jan 9 05, 14:27 Cleo_Serapis In my own example:
As father and daughter walked p... Jan 9 05, 15:23 Jox Hi Lori et al,
I think there is such a thing as o... Jan 9 05, 15:29 Perrorist Hi, Lori
Your first example was already showing. ... Jan 9 05, 15:38 Cleo_Serapis I tend to get bogged down in details..
Perhaps th... Jan 9 05, 16:08 Perrorist Lori
I suppose I should read the story first befo... Jan 9 05, 16:21 Jox Hi Lori,
My approach is to say the least I can to... Jan 9 05, 16:39 Perrorist Lori
I've read through your story and conclud... Jan 9 05, 22:02 Cleo_Serapis Thanks so very much James and Perry!
I am new to ... Jan 10 05, 06:21 Toumai Hi everyone,
I think I agree with Perry that show... Jan 10 05, 06:45 Jox Hi all,
Actually, that reminds me that, since I h... Jan 10 05, 07:43 Perrorist Lori
Fran said "I think I agree with Perry that s... Jan 10 05, 14:18 Perrorist Overwriting is an obvious giveaway of an amateur w... Jan 10 05, 14:43 Charon Ah, I like the conversation regarding King and his... Jan 10 05, 20:14 Perrorist Hi, Charon
Cinderella is a good example of tellin... Jan 10 05, 21:37 Cleo_Serapis Let's try another:
How would continue to write th... Jan 14 05, 06:26 Perrorist It's a lovely phrase, Lori, but what is it you... Jan 14 05, 15:27 Cailean Reading through here again ... Charon has it pegge... Jan 15 05, 01:02 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (Perrorist @ Jan. 14 2005, 15:27)It's a... Jan 15 05, 08:08 Jox Inside the realm of fantasy, her mirrored image sp... Jan 15 05, 08:19 Toumai Hi Lori,
I am a little confused here, wondering w... Jan 15 05, 10:26 Cleo_Serapis Hi.
No - I just wanted you to use your imaginatio... Jan 17 05, 05:31 Cleo_Serapis Arese waded to a stop in the crystalline waters. M... Jan 19 05, 05:24 Jox Hi Lori - another microstory - and pathos too... Jan 19 05, 12:23 Cleo_Serapis Here's a great article on Show v. Tell...
Show,... Feb 5 05, 10:35 Nina Hi Lori
I've just been reading through this f... Feb 5 05, 14:00 Toumai Hi Lori,
Many thanks for the links - I've rea... Feb 5 05, 14:09 Jox Nina,
Fran's idea is great - it's the ide... Feb 5 05, 17:48 Nina Hi Fran and James
Thanks for the encouragement. ... Feb 5 05, 18:16 Jox Hi Nina,
May I suggest that you take a look here.... Feb 5 05, 18:24 Nina Hi James
Thanks for the link. I think I ge... Feb 5 05, 18:50 
Jox Thank you Nina.
Much appreciated.
James. Feb 5 05, 19:21 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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