Tanka, 5-7-5-7-7 [or less] Options

[JustDaniel]

in long winter, heave
all the snow off your sidewalk
or just stay inside
letting fat accumulate
so you can't walk when spring comes

[Larry]

you can’t walk in springs
without getting your feet wet
and oozing mud clings
until dried, then it will set
and you’ll have feet of clay yet.

[JustDaniel]

you'll have feet of clay
if you pretend to be strong
could collapse in heap
of bricks and powdered mortar
interspersed with ivy sprigs

[Psyche]

you'll have feet of clay
if you pretend to be strong
could collapse in heap
of bricks and powdered mortar
interspersed with ivy sprigs

Hi Daniel, haven't been here for ages. I like your tanka, highly original. But ouch! Not for me. LOL.
Deftly worded. Hope you had a peaceful Christmas.
Best wishes, Sylvia

[JustDaniel]

Great to see you visiting in Karnak, Sylvia!

Actually my latest tanka (a game with me and Larry, where we take part of the last line of the previous tanka to start a new one) is precisely what was happening to the chimney of hour house in Bridgeton. When we put on a new roof, the whole upper part of the chimney was simply a bunch of bricks stacked on each other, since the mortar had been eaten away by the residual of natural gas that was going through the chimney from our heaters and water heater. Our workers threw the bricks one or two at a time over our hedge into the neighboring property, where we cleaned them up and stacked them for later use. We had to put in a stainless steel liner which we had made by a local person and our guys installed it with some difficulty. Saved the main structure of the chimney by the stabilization with the liner and our redoing some of the mortar and parging and then painting the chimney, removing all the ivy that was growing on it as well. It could have been a huge mess!

[Larry]

Interspersed with twigs
is what's left of my garden
after the wild pigs
had wreaked it without pardon.
Shared one with the game warden.


just slipping in for a moment.

Thanks for the heads-up. It is now a proper Tanka.

[JustDaniel]

Your line four is a syllable short for the typical tanka.

Shared with game warden
Larry's gun activity
He's setting a trap
expecting to capture him
to get a hunting licence

[Larry]

A hunting license
requires some prerequisites;
the desire to kill
and possession of a gun.
Otherwise, it ain’t no fun.

[JustDaniel]

Havin' pain ain't fun
nor is an amputation
but it disappears
along with neuropathy
when the right leg gets cut off!

[Larry]

Right leg gets cut off
which is a drastic measure
but one can not scoff
when this action brings pleasure;
for we’re blessed with mind’s treasure.

[JustDaniel]

minding our treasure
could devolve into hoarding
if we lose our mind...
which for me'd be a problem
since I haven't found it yet!

[Larry]

I haven’t found it
because memory’s hazy
so I’ll just admit
neither of us is lazy.
It’s a short trip to crazy


Thanks for the heads-up! It is now edited and grammatically correct.

[JustDaniel]

Ah, a rhyming tanka! Great job, Larry...

and by the way it's "neither of us IS lazy."


taking a short trip
to gather my Rollator
I visit the store
put boxed groceries on seat
to transport to van then home

[Larry]

Daniel, I had to pause for a while because your Tanka brought to mind Ginger using her wheeled walker everywhere she went, including while at home. I was saddened by another melancholic reminder of the impaired mobility she dealt with each day. The walker and her canes are now donated to the Physical Therapy facility she used for the last few years. Hope you progress to the point where your "Rollator" is of no further use and can also be donated. My penchant for the rhyming Tanka is just a way of adding another degree of difficulty to an otherwise descriptive form I love.


To transport then home,
I had to fold up and lift
her walker to roam.
It has become P.T.’s gift
and I hope she is not miffed.

[JustDaniel]

she's surely not miffed
for it's being used again
very thoughtful gift
surely they have handymen
to service it now and then

[Larry]

Service now and then
is where I should be going
for our plan was when
improvements started showing,
that’s blessings He’s bestowing

[JustDaniel]

He bestows blessing
even when we're not looking
Best we're not messing
with our destiny, booking
trips before dinner's cooking

[Larry]

Looks like it is rhyme time in Tanka town!


Trips before dinner
when you’re fishing on the lake
might be a winner
if you catch fish you can bake;
it’s a chance you have to take!

[JustDaniel]

chancy on the lake
if you don't wear a life vest
do it for my sake
it's more than I could digest
to have a funeral fest!

[Larry]

A funeral fest
is normally called a wake
but I lost the best
and that pain I cannot take;
it’s His decision to make