|
|
|
Haiku, Japanese form |
|
|
Guest_Jox_*
|
Oct 20 03, 08:02
|
Guest
|
Hi,
Brahams is arguing (see his crit of my Hikau cycle in the crit area) that 5/7/5 is merely a recent American constraint on the Haiku - nothing to do with the original Japanese. I am trying to find out more. He says 5/?/5 is the proper original Japanese format. Of course I hope he is right but if I - or anyone out there - can find evidence either way it would be useful.
J.
|
|
|
|
Guest__*
|
Oct 26 03, 09:33
|
Guest
|
Haiku - THE RINGER (A Tragedy In 17 Syllables)
This morning I rang To ask you to marry me But you were engaged .......
Alan McAlpine Douglas
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 26 03, 20:27
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 532
Joined: 4-September 03
From: Northwest Coast
Member No.: 29
Writer of: Poetry
|
This is my first haiku. A very knowledgeable poet taught me his expectations of a haiku and I wrote this hoping to impress him. lol
bushy tail fox hides green field camouflages frog perilous limelight
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 27 03, 00:11
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
|
Bushed Fox?
vixen’s hoary tail camouflaged nothing from frog; who visits who’s pad?
© M Lee Dickens’ son 26 October 2003
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
Guest__*
|
Oct 27 03, 02:26
|
Guest
|
The (Dahl-iesque) F R G
Take nothing from frog and you spawn new word thus : frg. Unpronouncable .....
Alan McAlpine Douglas
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 27 03, 06:09
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
|
QUOTE (Alan @ Oct. 27 2003, 01:26) The (Dahl-iesque) F R G
Take nothing from frog and you spawn new word thus : frg. Unpronouncable .....
Alan McAlpine Douglas Hey Alan, you're in the wrong thread. You're not supposed to extract frog's clothes or anything else in this one!!
Haven't we disgust this before?
fall's frog in my throat, slugs in nasal passages; lungs drown in refuse
sLightly congested, Daniel
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 27 03, 19:30
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 532
Joined: 4-September 03
From: Northwest Coast
Member No.: 29
Writer of: Poetry
|
Tadpole grows strong legs Surmounts pond, embarks on land Splash! wash dust from back
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 28 03, 00:12
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
|
how about silly senryu?
Whether one hump or two its always perfect here on camel lot
© Daniel J Ricketts 29 Jan 2003
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 28 03, 01:06
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,660
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Somerset, England
Member No.: 22
Real Name: Grace
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
|
First attempts at Haiku
from petrol droplets swirling in a small puddle A rainbow shines out
Sparrows in springtime writing on telephone lines their musical notes
In the pristine snow birds tracking convict arrows across the white lawn
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
Guest__*
|
Oct 28 03, 02:26
|
Guest
|
Dear Grace
I prefer my haiku to be precisely 5-7-5, but that is not the only reason to LOVE your 3rd one :
In the pristine snow birds tracking convict arrows across the white lawn
What an image, what observation !
Love Alan
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 28 03, 02:50
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,660
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Somerset, England
Member No.: 22
Real Name: Grace
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
|
Dear Alan
QUOTE Haiku - THE RINGER (A Tragedy In 17 Syllables)
This morning I rang To ask you to marry me But you were engaged .......
Very clever, very poignant and very funny!!
Love
Grace
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 28 03, 02:58
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,660
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Somerset, England
Member No.: 22
Real Name: Grace
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
|
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 28 03, 03:13
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 532
Joined: 4-September 03
From: Northwest Coast
Member No.: 29
Writer of: Poetry
|
Grace, it's hard to believe this is your first haikus! Wonderful!
All three are very good. I like the third the best though.
Great job!
Michelle
ooops, thank you too for your kind words.
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
Guest__*
|
Oct 28 03, 03:29
|
Guest
|
To the 12 minute double haiku-ist, aka Grace !
From my post to your brillaint corrections in less than 12 mins ! Who knows how many elapsed before you even saw my comment !
Now I LOVE all three.
You have an observational ability that I really enjoy, keep it up !
Love Alan
PS and thanks for your comment on mine too !
|
|
|
|
Guest_Jox_*
|
Oct 28 03, 03:34
|
Guest
|
Hello, excellent haikus everyone... good show.
Talking of "good show" - just a technical point which many of you might already know - so apologies if I am only telling you again. However...
It is "Quite Interesting" that the word "limelight" comes from the theatre. In the days before electric lighting, stage hands used to burn lime to illuminate the stage. This cast an eerie green glow upon the thespians. From then onwards, actors were said to "be in the limelight". So "wanting to be in the limelight" means that one wishes to be on show etc. Ok, everyone knew that? Well I've done no harm then! And I enjoyed my moment in the limelight.
Toodle Pip, J.
PS I knew that Michelle would like that "foxtail" reference!
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 28 03, 09:44
|
Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
|
Just so no one gets confused, this tile is for the serious HAIKU postings.
We have dubbed Alan's "Extraction Haiku tile" as the one for comedic haiku.
Thanks all!
~Cleo
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
|
|
|
|
2 User(s) are reading this topic (2 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
|
|
Read our FLYERS - click below
Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning
your writings. ENJOY!
|
|
|
|