Acrostics 1-5., Winter. Options

[Guest_iverhyck_*]

1.
Snow’s soft, snow’s light.
Nothing is so white.
Oaks are a bit weird.
Winter wonders are here.

2.
Snow’s fallen at last.
Nasty days went past.
Outdoors-the-great glows.
Winds make comforting blows.

3.
Snow’s on the trees.
Nobody sees
Owls, white ghosts. Ah!
What magic silence! Hush!

4.
Something has whispered. Snow.
Nothing is moving. Snow.
Ox-eyes are ringing. Snow.
Whiteness is reigning. Snow.

5.
Some snow, some frost, some sun,
Nativity-Christmas, God’s son,
Orient patterns in blue, black and white,
Watch-Night Services on the last night.

[Alan]

Dear Konstantin,

I guess that English is not your first language, so these are quite fun.

I do think they would work better if each line had the same number of syllables.

Snow’s soft, snow’s light. 4
Nothing is so white. 5
Oaks are a bit weird. 5
Winter wonders are here. 6

I'll try to rewrite this, hope it pleases you. If not, please say, and I can remove.

Snow is soft, snow is light. 6
Nothing is quite so white. 6
Oak trees are a bit weird. 6
Winter wonders are here. 6

If you like this, have a look at the rest. If you want more help, please say.

Love
Alan

[Guest_iverhyck_*]

Alan, a lot of thanks for your comments.
You see, in our language we pay attention to the vowel sounds in every line.
I know that in the English language 'snow' has one vowel sound, but for my ear it has TWO.
That's why I write this way. Yes, it's the problem of different languages.
But again thank you.
Konstantin.

[Guest_ohsteve_*]

Konstantin, I like acrostics, but why call it Winter, when it is all about SNOW?

When snow turns blue you know
it is cold. Knife edge of wind
nips in through layers of clothes.
Tracks of wood land animals and birds
evoke their own stories around the holes where
running water begs not to be frozen with the rest of the world.

Suddenly the world has donned a white winter coat,
now there isn't any color to save the eyes.
Owls have changed their feather and chase after rabbits
with white fur and mice that have gone that way too.


You have done very well for english being a second laugage, I can only say a smattering of words in other laungages. Never mind write poetry in them. I think you might be trying to hard to make them rhyme also, try doing it in free verse.

Steve

[Guest_iverhyck_*]

Konstantin, I like acrostics, but why call it Winter, when it is all about SNOW?

When snow turns blue you know
it is cold. Knife edge of wind
nips in through layers of clothes.
Tracks of wood land animals and birds
evoke their own stories around the holes where
running water begs not to be frozen with the rest of the world.

Suddenly the world has donned a white winter coat,
now there isn't any color to save the eyes.
Owls have changed their feather and chase after rabbits
with white fur and mice that have gone that way too.


You have done very well for english being a second laugage, I can only say a smattering of words in other laungages. Never mind write poetry in them. I think you might be trying to hard to make them rhyme also, try doing it in free verse.

Steve

Stephen, thank you for your warm words.
Yes, all these acrostics are 'snow' ones, and in all these 5 acrostics you can see this word not only if you look at the 1st letters of the lines, but I've written more than 30 'snow' acrostics and some of them haven't got this word in the text. And as all of them are about winter, I decided to call them "Winter".
You see, I don't like puzzles or crosswords, but rhyming (especially writing iverhymes-iverhycks) is my hobby.
Thank you again.
Konstantin.

P.S. By the way, where did you see mice that put on white fur in winter? Perhaps you thought of ermines?

[Thoth]

Dear Konstantin

I love acrostics! They are part of mystic origins of poetry that concealed serious meaning behind innocent seeming verses. To me the heart of poetry still lies in being able to target specific readers out of the masses. It can be done.

Please permit me to make some suggestions to your already well written cryptic strophes. Try avoiding the direct use of your hidden word. One approach is to summarise what is hinted at in the verse by the concealed word.

For example;


“Something soft, something light,
nothing's such a dazzling sight.
Oaks appearing wise and weird,
winter wizards in white beards.”

Or;

“Softly falling from the sky,
no-one saw her swiftly fly
on silent wings of crystal down
whose feathers mint the winter's crown.”

Do you see what I mean? The reader has an epiphany when realizing that acrostic could be the title to the verse. There are many ways of doing it, but don’t make it too easy either. It must remain a puzzle. The hidden words of each verse can be different, forming a line in themselves. Most readers wont even pick up the acrostic unless you tell them, you can even drop a hint in last verse.

I hope this helps and may you continue to grow in your English poetry. Well done and thanks for sharing your work with us.

Cheers,

Wally

[Eisa]

Hi Konstantin

Just thinking of the visual aspect of these acrostics, perhaps they look better centre page?

Snow

Snow’s soft, snow’s light.
Nothing is so white.
Oaks are a bit weird.
Winter wonders are here.


Snow’s fallen at last.
Nasty days went past.
Outdoors-the-great glows.
Winds make comforting blows.


Snow’s on the trees.
Nobody sees
Owls, white ghosts. Ah!
What magic silence! Hush!


Something has whispered. Snow.
Nothing is moving. Snow.
Ox-eyes are ringing. Snow.
Whiteness is reigning. Snow.


Some snow, some frost, some sun,
Nativity-Christmas, God’s son,
Orient patterns in blue, black and white,
Watch-Night Services on the last night.