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August IBPC Nominations, September Competition |
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Aug 17 08, 09:50
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi all, This poem, Zambezi Storm certainly has gone through a metamorphosis through revisions. I love the metaphors, the descriptions of this 'storm' and the feeling of being there it left me, not to mention the ending of 'hope' as daylight cleanses all. Lovely! Good luck Bev! Zambezi Storm by Beverleigh G AnnegarnViolet clouds roll like dragon’s breath over earth’s contours. In their wake, sharp raindrops spike expectant ground. Lightning spears pierce and lash chaotically silhouetting baobabs clinging to shuddering rock. Rain licks my face, trickles into my eyes, traps my clothing on my shivering flesh. Water shards, beamed by pyrotechnics, scurry down hills and banks. Gullies gouge and chisel toward the engorged river. A night - when elements scrape together: energies connect like war drums on heaven’s stage. Daylight reveals a cleansing… animals dance, pudgy plants perk and peek. Sunshine kisses the wounded.
This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Sep 14 08, 07:58
Reason for edit: 6th edit
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Aug 17 08, 10:24
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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In response to Bev's poem 'Zambezi Storm', Thoth's ballad, Ballad of iZamu is filled with a lovely rhythm, rhymes, imagery and story! This gets my nod for IBPC contention. Best of luck! Ballad of iZamu by Walter William Schwim Sketch of a Limpopo storm coming off the Soutpansberg mountains, down the Mutamba river valley over the hill known as iZamu (The maidens breast)
iZamu slumbers in the heat between the sultry hills, a dusky maiden's profile’s draped with dark cloud shadow fills. Her moody sensual form’s backlit in pastel blues and mauves, while riverine, Mutamba green, winds serpine through her groves.
Limpopo sun since dawn has baked the humid valley air, ‘till nimbus clouds from endless blue now magically appear. A hazy skyline, frowning grey, looks angry, smudged and strange, pulls air in huffs and fitful puffs toward the Zoutpan range.
A sense of expectation drifts across the valley floor, then suddenly I know it’s there, I smell the monster’s maw. On looking up, I glimpse its giant cumulating cheeks roaring past the mountains vast, clawing at the peaks.
Wenguli, smoking flail in hand beats cowering Sun away. A dust cloud flees his naked wrath, while trees, in panic, sway. With growls and groans he spits and moans, relentless in his march destroying wills of guarding hills and enters through the arch.
iZamu braces for the strike, submitting as the storm, comes rolling down between her mounds, smothering her form. He spreads upon the basin floor his overwhelming bulk, with ill intent, destruction bent; intimidating hulk.
Wenguli shreds and blasts the air with cataclysmic sound, hurls stinging bursts of hail to thrash the wincing dusty ground. A warrior of doom he seems with mighty flashing blades, who swells and grows with throbs and flows into her dells and glades.
Sky-burst torrent plumbing down, engulfing airborne tide, inundated road becomes a raging river wide. A dozen waterfalls appear and gush from rocky spouts, ‘mid fitful throws and body blows there’s fireworks and shouts.
iZamu drowning from the weight, the storm is want to gloat, but as the mayhem seems its worst, there comes a thread of hope. She draws her rainbow sword of light to smite the brute away, who shies with pain then flees in shame, returns the light of day.
Wenguli flees the glowing foil with final flash and roar; he grumbles beaten from the land and douses her no more. Her vlies are shining loud and wet, all silver in delight and swifts soar proud against the cloud, rejoicing in their flight.
While sunlight warms iZamu’s breast, her languid stretch and sigh shows fresh her maiden silhouette on glowing turquoise sky. Mutamba's thunderous voice roars out, beyond the canyon bend, a million flying-ants emerge to seek the rainbow’s end . . .
This post has been edited by Cleo_Serapis: Aug 21 08, 05:51
Reason for edit: Rev 3
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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