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> Man - Kind?, Sonnet
Larry
post Feb 17 17, 22:06
Post #1


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Man – Kind?

A man, empty inside, but outward mien
belies the fact that soul and heart are scarred
by life’s experience and what was seen
so long ago when nation’s children warred

for reasons, yet unknown. Much like today,
where youth is wasted in some foreign land
and leaders of the world have naught to say.
I feel it’s time for peace and love; demand

to know why some would lead us down that path
while death, disease and sickness seem ignored.
Take heed of those instead of greed and wrath
for this small world is dying by the sword.

New Edens wait upon a spectral shore
where waves of peace may susurrate once more.


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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JustDaniel
post Feb 18 17, 08:57
Post #2


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Dear Larry,

please do not think I think your writing's bleak;
my sonnet's written here with tongue in cheek!


Shush your rantings?

You susurrate so softly no one hears
your pleas of peace because they do not know
the word with which you end; it falls on ears
illiterate, uneducated, so

perhaps your whispers of the killing fields
should rustle louder how great winds of war
and what the push for power and wealth will yield
and what the sword of death is welded for.

Your sonnet's form is perfect, and of course
the content's clear and thoughtfully designed
providing insight, setting forth with force
a gentle cry to mankind disinclined

to listening already; don't use terms
composed to decompose with lowly worms.


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Cleo_Serapis
post Feb 18 17, 16:02
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OOOh Larry! claps.gif

I love this! I get very sad when I think of how our young men and women enlist (my man did so many years ago) right out of high school - and then I feel their deeds to protect us (and others in the call of duty) are not acknowledged as they should be! They risk their lives and how do we repay them? Well, I do not want to get into my own thoughts, but let's just say this poem is spot on to reflect my own feelings.

My only nit is in the opening line - the meter (at least how I pronounce) "A man, empty inside" doesn't seem to flow quite as smoothly as the rest.

Enjoyed the read very much! Read.gif
~Cleo galadriel.gif


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Larry
post Feb 20 17, 09:21
Post #4


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Hi Lori,

Thanks for stopping by for a read and I'm glad you mentioned the "bump" in the first line. That was done on purpose. I wanted people to pause there so I put in a "spondee" for that effect. I hope it works and it made you pause to reflect on the man who was empty inside.

I may have to rethink that but I'll leave it alone for now.

I'm so glad you are back but sorry to hear about your broken leg I read about in another thread. Get well and congratulations on your new job.

Larry


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

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Larry
post Feb 22 17, 14:51
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Hey Daniel,

I’m glad you prefaced your sonnet with the “tongue-in-cheek” comment so I wouldn’t take umbrage from what you so eloquently pointed out about word usage.

Below is my condemnation of the educational system which has devolved to the lowest common denominator’s level. Descriptive and idea-inclusive words are very dear to me in that there are so many levels to understanding what is being said. My English teacher in high school, Dr. Elmer Baker, insistently filled our young minds with strange and wonderful new words in both his speeches and lesson plans. I think his favorite book was the Encyclopedia Britannica with which he figuratively utilized to pound knowledge into our collective fertile minds. For that, I will be forever grateful. He always said, there is nothing common about common sense except for the word “common”! Exemplary knowledge is what one should strive to attain.


Commode-ious Assimilation

Compost will decompose for lowly worms
and other tiny creatures who will eat
the residue of winter. Even germs
partake of these comestibles, compete

for their fair share until there’s nothing left...
Rotting the perspicacious, obtuse words
are used instead and meaning is bereft
of connotations. Nuance is in sherds

and mediocrity now dominates
the patois with new idioms’ nonsense.
No eloquence in what one now creates
because the English teachers will dispense

with cultivating edified young minds
and spoon-feed pap excreted from behinds.


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When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

MM Award Winner
 
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JustDaniel
post Jul 6 17, 00:36
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Referred By:Lori



Hey, Larry...

I'm pleased that you didn't take umbrage. I was speaking on behalf of those who've not improved their vocabulary or taken Dr. Baker's English classes. Your further sonnet shares my own frustration w/ our educational system as well. High school students today seem to be writing English decompositions for their teachers.

deLighting in your sharing, Daniel sun.gif


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Ali zonak
post Jul 6 17, 07:25
Post #7


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Larry,
your title is okay, but "Man - Unkind" might have been even more applicable. Your first line does read a bit uneven. Since Shakespearean sonnets call for Iambic meter, that you are a master of, I have to assume that you started the sonnet on heavy beats for emphasis. I would agree with the sentiment expressed in your sonnet. Mankind is unkind, as 6000 year of recorded history can attest to, but that's what we are; a bunch of mindless warring ants. I appreciate your sonnet. Ali


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Larry
post Jul 6 17, 07:57
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.



Hi Ali,

Thanks for the visit and your comments. Yes, there is a "bump" in the first line but as I explained to Lori in Post #4, the spondee was placed there on purpose to make the reader pause and possibly contemplate the incongruity of the word "Mankind". That's why I added the "?" after the title. Apparently, my reasoning was valid because all who posted comments noticed that bump. I wish it were so about your statement of "warring ants" but believe we have descended below even that level. At least the ants in one community have total and complete cooperation.

Hey Daniel,

Noticed you stopped by for another visit. Glad you liked my added sonnet and share the same feelings about the level of stupidity our educational system has attained.

Thanks to both of you.

Larry


·······IPB·······

When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy



Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers.
Larry D. Jennings

MM Award Winner
 
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