LUC BAT, Vietnamese form Options

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hi all.  

Cyn recently posted a poem that was written in the form of LUC BAT. I had not had the pleasure of reading this form prior so I asked Cyn if she would be kind enough to give me permission to post her LUC BAT poem called 'To Sleep'.  She has so here are the form's requirements:

LUC BAT

The luc bat is a Vietnamese form of poetry, which means "six eight" due to its pattern of syllables per line: 6,8,6,8,6,8, etc. There is no set length to the luc bat, so it can be as long or as short as you'd like.

The sixth syllable of every eight-syllable line rhymes with the last syllable of the six-syllable line before it, which then rhymes with the eighth syllable of the eight-syllable line before it. At poem's end, the last line reaches back and rhymes with the first. The syllables go like this:  

* * * * * a
* * * * * a * b
* * * * * b
* * * * * b * c
* * * * * c
* * * * * c * d
* * * * * d
* * * * * d * a


To Sleep

Thirteen men delved the deep,
dim Sago shaft to reap and mine
the coal, a dark black line
of ore, that might refine a life,
at least feed child and wife.

But truth cuts like a knife.  And no
man could foretell, should know,
that life’s sweet breath would go; collapse
would come to lay the traps
for all but one, to lapse… to fall.

At dying breath they scrawl
on anything at all… last words
they know will not be heard.
Speech slurred as vision blurred…was spent;  
a final message sent:

It wasn’t bad, I went… to sleep.

© Cynthia Neely
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cyn! Why not give this form a try?  

[JustDaniel]

they do look batty…

I’ve tried a few haiku
but they have been pooh-poohed; my work
may seem a mere knee jerk –
perhaps some banal quirk response
unfit for renaissance…
but I am still ensconced to write
no matter if they're trite.
I will not be contrite, nor turn
away; I'll strive to learn
though critics all be stern with me.
I’ll scribble ‘til I’m free;
like it or not, there’ll be more ku!

© MLee Dickens’son 03 Feb 2006