 stars scatter, haiku |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Jun 2 07, 04:57
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 4,599 Joined: 4-August 03 From: Birmingham, England Member No.: 12 Real Name: Eira Needham Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
Below are 2 versions of one of my very first attempts at haiku -- but there is no indication of seasons here. Can anyone suggest how I can change this into a true haiku?
My revision is much different to the originaal running along the cliff edge -- my alarm clock rings ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ stars scatter a blanket of dreams; alarm bell rings I dream beneath a star-blanket; the rooster calls ·······  ·······Live one day at a time -it's simpler that way.
Laugh loud & often - it's medicinal. Write from the heart - it's therapeutic. Beauty comes from within - the outer is just skin! Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more details, click here! MM Award Winner            |
  
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Posts in this topic
Eisa stars scatter Jun 2 07, 04:57 
Kathy QUOTE (Eisa @ Jun 2 07, 19:57 ) Below are... Jun 2 07, 19:26 
Eisa QUOTE (Kathy @ Jun 3 07, 01:26 ) QUOTE (E... Jun 3 07, 18:27 Kathy Ah, here it is! First, here's the link:
... Jun 2 07, 20:48 Eisa QUOTE (Kathy @ Jun 3 07, 02:48 ) Ah, here... Jun 3 07, 18:29 laryalee Hi Snow,
yes, a blanket of dreams and a star-blank... Jun 2 07, 23:58 Eisa QUOTE (laryalee @ Jun 3 07, 05:58 ) Hi Sn... Jun 3 07, 18:33 Cleo_Serapis Hi Snow.
I liek the idea of what you are trying ... Jun 3 07, 06:52 Eisa QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Jun 3 07, 12:52 ) H... Jun 3 07, 18:38 AMETHYST Hi Snow...
I like the images of these ... going... Jun 3 07, 14:20 Eisa QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Jun 3 07, 20:20 ) Hi Sn... Jun 3 07, 18:42 Kathy renovations--
shaky haiku at a picnic
table Jun 3 07, 18:35 Eisa QUOTE (Kathy @ Jun 4 07, 00:35 ) renovati... Jun 3 07, 18:43 Eisa The comment I just made to Liz made me think of th... Jun 3 07, 18:55 Kathy Lary, I see a picture of you here, along with your... Jun 4 07, 21:33 Eisa QUOTE (Kathy @ Jun 5 07, 03:33 ) Lary, I ... Jun 6 07, 03:07 laryalee Nice work, Snow!
Those dream haiku feel more r... Jun 5 07, 12:58 Eisa QUOTE (laryalee @ Jun 5 07, 18:58 ) Nice ... Jun 6 07, 03:15 Orion Snow,
Just stopping in to say I've enjoyed re... Jun 6 07, 12:47 Eisa QUOTE (Orion @ Jun 6 07, 18:47 ) Snow,
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