|
Renga, Japanese form |
|
|
|
Oct 19 04, 13:00
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 19,117
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
|
hmmm... Sounds like a good idea to me... and I see that my last tongue-in-cheek follow-up was a bit too outlandish to include in this to be dished up with the rest of this little salad?
Then how about this?
in cider celebrations warmly fomenting joy
Lightly, Daniel :sun:
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 19 04, 17:45
|
Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
|
QUOTE (Just Daniel @ Oct. 19 2004, 14:00) hmmm... Sounds like a good idea to me... and I see that my last tongue-in-cheek follow-up was a bit too outlandish to include in this to be dished up with the rest of this little salad? Then how about this? in cider celebrations warmly fomenting joyLightly, Daniel Daniel Do you mean FERMENTING??? Just checking before we conclude this haiku-ish style poem?
Either this can be the end or perhaps another couplet that includes our title to summarize the poem??
HUGS! Cleo
Maybe something like:
Autumn's abundance. as a single end too?
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 20 04, 03:36
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,660
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Somerset, England
Member No.: 22
Real Name: Grace
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
|
Hi Lori and Daniel,
I think Daniel's couplet followed by Lori's suggestion of a single last line comprising
Autumn's abundance
will finish this off nicely.
Shall we do it???
I have to say I have really enjoyed composing this shared poem, even if we didn't quite get it right.
After posting, I suggest that perhaps Lori could restart a tile for the true Renga with her suggested stanza - and to avoid confusion invite either Daniel or me to add the next stanza according to the rules of Renga, and then carry on in this way. To avoid extraneous comments (which we will surely wish to make,) blocking up the tile, perhaps we could PM comments to each other, together with any queries we might have regarding form. That way we can keep the tile purely for the progressing Renga which is going to be long enough anyway.
What say you? Love
Grace
P.S I have no wish to exclude other MM members from this form but feel that if more than three of us try to write it we will get into all sorts of trouble. It could be suggested that any other members interested could team up to form Renga groups perhaps?
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 20 04, 05:20
|
Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
|
HI Grace!
I think we SHOULD interact here in Karnak so others will learn and grow as we hope to as this is the place for the interactions. What say you, Daniel~san?
HUGS! Lori
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 23 04, 09:00
|
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,660
Joined: 23-August 03
From: Somerset, England
Member No.: 22
Real Name: Grace
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
|
AUTUMN'S ABUNDANCE
Tumbling sienna dances gracefully downward in colorful tints.
Autumn winds build compost piles between unsuspecting walls.
Laughter fills the air as raucous children create bright eddies with busy feet.
Industrious whistling dad smilingly rakes in laughter.
Apples are cored, milled into hot, refreshing drinks worth sipping slowly..
giggling, out-of-breath siblings inhale two cups in minutes.
Indian corn sways on whispers of windy knocks at the entrance home.
The glorious golden bauble slides down a cerulean sky
to touch a carpet filled with emerald treasures groomed with love and care.
In the garden, a bonfire crackles - like witches laughing!
Birds gossip loudly, cattle graze contentedly, and crimson hues bathe the land.
In cider celebrations, warmly fermenting joy
Autumn's abundance.
Lori and Daniel, I have taken the liberty of finishing this to post as a piece in Homer's, so that we can start a true Renga. I do hope this is OK with you?
Love
Grace
······· ·······
|
|
|
|
|
Oct 23 04, 09:46
|
Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
|
Thanks Grace!
I've added another description of Renga to the original tile on Page 1.... :)
······· ·······
"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
|
|
|
|
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
Read our FLYERS - click below
Reference links provided to aid in fine-tuning
your writings. ENJOY!
|
|
|
|