He, Who is he? Options

[Arnfinn]

He


He did not look any different
His personality was defined by his manner,
Yet, there was a façade: a mask.
At times he would fake happiness, success, and relationships,
a smile, a frown— not a truthful expression of feelings.
People, within his aura, saw the physical—not who he was;
they saw him entirely different to his conscious self.
And he in turn would have a rational conversation with someone
who was not actually who he thought they were; the act of
seeing and listening to an unreal fabrication.

Profound moments of reality filled with mirages of non-existence.
He would depart, learning nothing, and with nothing on his mind.


John

[Eisa]

Hi John - it's good to see you here.

This is a profound, thought provoking piece. I think we all hide behind a mask at times to protect the real person.

He did not look any different
His personality was defined by his manner,
Yet, there was a façade: a mask. Perhaps facade and mask are too similar causing a redundancy
At times he would fake happiness, success, and relationships,
a smile, a frown— not a truthful expression of feelings.
People, within his aura, saw the physical—not who he was;
they saw him entirely different to his conscious self.
And he in turn would have a rational conversation with someone
who was not actually who he thought they were; the act of
seeing and listening to an unreal fabrication.

Profound moments of reality filled with mirages of non-existence.
He would depart, learning nothing, and with nothing on his mind.

I am finding it difficult to follow this ending - I might have to read it a few times to get my head round it.
Deep thinking John!

Snow

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Snow.

It may be easier to understand if you apply the words to a returned ex-serviman from Afghanistan.



John

[Larry]

Hi John,

I know how you feel and exactly what you mean. Went through much of the same thing myself when I returned from 'Nam. The only difference was no fanfare or parades, just the constant barrage of expletives and no M-14 in sight.

You look the same on the outside but innocence has been bludgeoned to a pulp. Lots of times, I wish there was nothing on my mind... but the reality of the soul's transition/deformity keeps staring back at me; even now!

Like my wife tells me; "It came to pass, not to stay!"

Larry

[Psyche]

This is good, John. I admit to having read your explanation, as well as Larry's.

I'll try to return and read it a few times, since it merits more attention.

Thanks for sharing and I hope you're doing well. Greetings to Pam and your wonderful pets & flowers (flowers have feelings, as do all living things, OK?).

Best,
Syl***

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Larry


Vietnam, the war no one believed in. The war, for political reasons, treated you as a unwanted tourist on foriegn soil and as an embarrassment at home.

Yeah, no wonder ex-sevicemen and women, vietnam veterans, became disillusioned loners.


Nothing on his mind? Well, the sub-conscious is a different matter.

In Canberra this year the Vietnam veterans were given their own war memorial and recognition.


John

[Arnfinn]

G'day, Sylv;

Everythings going pretty well, Sylv. Well, Mop the dog is 14 and half (over a hundred in doggy years) and wont last the year out. Lily the puss is sleek and smart, she doesn't like me, she's Pams cat. My New Guinea Impatients are looking fabulous, I propagate and grow my own.

Hope you and the family are well.

Thank you for having a look at my poem,Sylv.

Regards,


John

[JustDaniel]

Hey, John...

I ain't much at crit in fv, so please allow me just to practice on you and try to draw out of your words what they make me feel, playing with the words a little to see if I get your meaning.

He

He did not look any different
His personality was defined by his manner,
Yet, there was a façade: a mask.

He doesn't look any different;
his manner defines his personality,
yet there seems to be a façade -- and invisible mask.

At times he would fake happiness, success, and relationships,
a smile, a frown— not a truthful expression of feelings.

Sometimes he fakes happiness, success
even relationships
a smile, a frown — expressions empty of feeling.

People, within his aura, saw the physical—not who he was;
they saw him entirely different to his conscious self.

People he meets see the physical —
not who he is, not his conscious self.

And he in turn would have a rational conversation with someone
who was not actually who he thought they were; the act of
seeing and listening to an unreal fabrication.

And he in turn converses rationally
with someone he also cannot see —
each seeing and listening to a fabrication.

Profound moments of reality filled with mirages of non-existence.
He would depart, learning nothing, and with nothing on his mind.

Profound moments of reality
are but mirages, and he
departs, having learned nothing
with nothing new on his mind —
a kind of shell, shocked out of it.

deLighting to interact, Daniel

[Arnfinn]

G'day Daniel.

We both use the third person, my version, with a negative past(god), and yours in the third person limited, (fly-on-the-wall).

Your verson has a certain lightness and mine the tragic.

Interesting, mate.


John