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Trois-par-Huit (Three-by-Eight) Octa-Tri, New form by Cleo |
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Nov 24 05, 08:43
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Liz. Your chapbook title is perfect! You've inspired me to write! Here's one I wrote this morning: (Holiday) Potpourri
Scents entice; simmered holiday spice caramel, chocolate drizzled glaze
nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger: powdered-sugar craze savory ciders, scintillating sweets amaze
dollops of whip cream jubilee mouth-watering decree potpourri
© Lorraine M Kanter 24 Nov 2005 edited L5 - was: savory ciders, tarts, cookies, pies, breads amaze
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 5 05, 21:42
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Real Name: Elizabeth
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Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hey Lori,
Oh I am spending next Christmas with you... You have a way of making scents and sounds, images and life come alive with words... HEre's one for my Cousin Joann, Tweedle as my mom nick named her when she was little and we've called her that ever since.
Memories of younger days, we'd breeze like winds in gentle rainstorms to grasp
the setting of the sun; we'd run, ready to clasp a manic moment in time, our minutes would lapse
between distance and dreams we had shared. Those adventures we dared; neither feared.
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Dec 6 05, 06:28
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Liz - this is so beautiful - you've got the rhyme plus, the meter AND you've built in assonance AND alloteratative devices in this short 8 line piece. WOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW! :pharoah2
This form looks great on you!
Enjoyed every word!
Lori
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Dec 23 05, 10:21
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Note: Subsequent to posting this, I realized that I've written a few of these without regard for the Last line = title rule. Forgive me please, Lori. I corrected the description in P-V. I guess you didn't notice the error there? gettin' through
paperwork is what I’d often shirk but it came back to overwhelm me
so now I use my days off, and I work for free, but bit by bit the pile goes down; my desk I see
in new office, new computer too where duty’s far less blue gettin’ through
© Daniel J Ricketts 10 Oct 2005
Original title (in error):
trod par suite
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Sep 14 06, 13:38
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Group: Gold Member
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distracted
one more day ere I will taste cool spray of ocean waves with a tinge of salt
escaping paling confines of this dingy vault to allow end-of-summer sun my skin assault
so in that prospect I've redacted these words, for I've acted distracted
© MLee Dickens'son 13 Sept 2006 (original)
one more day ere I will taste cool spray of ocean waves with a tinge of salt
while escaping the confines of this dingy vault to let the end-of-summer sun my skin assault
so in the meantime I’ve redacted these words, for I've acted distracted
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Sep 15 06, 05:35
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Mosaic Master
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QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Sep 14 06, 14:38 ) distracted
one more day ere I will taste cool spray of ocean waves with a tinge of salt
while escaping the confines of this dingy vault to let the end-of-summer sun my skin assault
so in the meantime I’ve redacted these words, for I've acted distracted
© MLee Dickens'son 13 Sept 2006 Hi Daniel. An excellent Octa-Tri here! I can smell the ocean salt and feel the wind! One suggestion: Are there other ways to replace those "the's" in this one to make every word count? Cheers ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Sep 15 06, 06:51
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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Point taken, Lori. I've posted a revision... and I'll try to do better in that department. the excess
the using of the ‘the’ — abusing the “pick-the-briefest” rule of the bard
is the most widespread, yea the hardest of the hard of the poet’s habits that spread about the lard
in the volumes of the poor guy’s mess in the which he’d suppress the excess
© MLee Dickens’son 15 Sept 2006
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Oct 21 07, 20:29
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Mosaic Master
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Here's an interesting thread I just found by googling my name, http://www.thestarlitecafe.com/discus/mess...html?1153859780
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Nov 19 09, 03:52
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Real Name: Leonora Wyatt
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Referred By:No one at all
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Hi Cleo - here is my five minute verse - I am always slightly baffled by the fashion for dressing things up in Faux French - is to make them sound more ancient or authentic? After all, we are not Medieval French Shepherd Poets. It would be possible to use the title, 'Eins - Acht' (in German). Just as logical - but it wouldn't sound so good. Plain English when ever possible, unless speaking of things that are genuinely French. Leo Trois par Huit Wonder why we always seem to try to dress up our dishes quite mundane, by giving them a high sounding Frenchified name? I'm thinking, 'Would not this poem sound just the same; with a title slightly more sedate, and language in its natural state?' Three by Eight!
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Nov 19 09, 08:53
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Very interesting observation, Leo. I don't actually recall how I came to give this form its name, but I think it had to do with the form 'Huitain'? There's a 4x8 version as well you may get a kick out of trying. You've got two lines that need a bit of tweaking: I'm thinking, 'Would not this poem sound just the same;This is only 11 beats- unless you pronounce poem as 2 syllables? and language in its natural state?'This one is trickier - this line should only have 6 beats total. If I count language and natural as 2 it still reads at 8. Thanks for your first attempt - well done! Hoping you'll revise to match the params exactly! Cheers ~Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Mar 13 15, 15:07
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Saw this and thought I'd try my hand at one. Hope it's okay Lori. Alibis
Butterflies take wing; fill azure skies with rainbow hues. Light breezy kisses
fill eyes, caress our souls. Could that be what bliss is? One who studies Lepidoptera dismisses
their gifts to find why a species dies. That’s how mankind denies. Alibis!
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Mar 15 15, 04:50
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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What's 'is Name
Once upon a time before the dawn of Lori's naming it "Octo-Tri"
the title "Trois-Par-Huit" was offered by a guy whose experimenting with forms was never shy.
She took it, then decided to tame the label by ol' lame What's 'is Name.
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Mar 15 15, 13:40
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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So Confess
Daniel did, but I suspect he hid his anonymity to keep peace,
for he’s the only one I know who doesn’t cease trying out new forms with his tongue-in-cheek caprice.
It matters not what name forms possess but thanks to those who bless; so confess!
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Apr 13 15, 10:06
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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OOOh Hi Larry! So glad you stopped in to try this! I did not get a notification for some reason and just found it today (and you've done three of the Trois-par-Huit)! There is also a four-by-eight version as well should you try that one (Quarte-par-Huit). I LOVE butterfly and dragonfly poetry! This is beautiful! ~Cleo QUOTE (Larry @ Mar 13 15, 16:07 ) Saw this and thought I'd try my hand at one. Hope it's okay Lori. Alibis
Butterflies take wing; fill azure skies with rainbow hues. Light breezy kisses
fill eyes, caress our souls. Could that be what bliss is? One who studies Lepidoptera dismisses
their gifts to find why a species dies. That’s how mankind denies. Alibis!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 14 15, 14:05
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Springfield, Louisiana
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Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
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Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Thanks Lori,
I did try your "Quarte-par-Huit" and posted it for your pleasure. Hope it meets all parameters including your approval.
Larry
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