Hi James
I love this one and agree with Fred's comments.
I do think the flow could be improved with rearranging lines, I find the short lines a bit bumpy and distracting - perhaps it's just me!
A few suggestions
Somehow the distance seems wider, impossible almost
I should have known that our tide would run its course, when visions of him lay so awkwardly strewn, tattooed behind your smile, and betrayed by your eyes, as he frolics among the rapids of yesterday
And me ... I'm hoping, foolishly hoping, not quite the perfect painting that you were searching for, Somehow the strokes were off or maybe it was just the way the light seemed to bounce off the barren landscape of my heart
How do I conquer this mirage? when I am just thirsty[.] for love ... true love How I wish this season would pass I love you, but I see nothing, but winter In your eyes…
This is really beautiful. I hope something I have offered might help your intent - if not just ignore.
Snow
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