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> The Plight of the Mockingbird, Cinquain
bbnixon
post Jun 14 07, 20:01
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The Plight of the Mockingbird

sing-song
sang mockingbird
I long for my own song
not one borrowed from another
song-sing


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Terocon101
post Jun 15 07, 19:21
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sing-song
sang (a)mockingbird Maybe insert "a"
I long for my own song
not one borrowed from another
song-sing

Hi Brenda,

Its kinda sad this one isn't it? No real crit for you here, but I hate seeing an empty reply box and its the second time I've read it, so I felt I should say something.

Terry


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Terry


light
lights
light

--Raymond Rosliep


"The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates."

--Oscar Wilde

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bbnixon
post Jun 16 07, 08:41
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Hi Terry,

Yes sad for the mockingbird..perhaps...just a thought I had. Thank you for my filling my empty box...it is greatly appreciated...can't add the "a" then my count would be off. I almost never write any kind of formed verse. I suck at it. Drive myself crazy with counts and meter, and stresses....makes me insane...For some reason though I like cinquains...so I try on occassion....

thank you for the read and the reply box deposit. I will return the favor.

:) brenda


QUOTE (Terocon101 @ Jun 15 07, 19:21 ) *
sing-song
sang (a)mockingbird Maybe insert "a"
I long for my own song
not one borrowed from another
song-sing

Hi Brenda,

Its kinda sad this one isn't it? No real crit for you here, but I hate seeing an empty reply box and its the second time I've read it, so I felt I should say something.

Terry


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Terocon101
post Jun 16 07, 11:24
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Yes sad for the mockingbird..perhaps...just a thought I had. Thank you for my filling my empty box...it is greatly appreciated...can't add the "a" then my count would be off. I almost never write any kind of formed verse. I suck at it. Drive myself crazy with counts and meter, and stresses....makes me insane...For some reason though I like cinquains...so I try on occassion....


Hey Brenda,

LOL, I know how you feel about writing in form, it can wreck the head. Umm, so theres a word count in this cinquain, sorry I was oblivious. Where can I find the rules of this form??

Terry


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Terry


light
lights
light

--Raymond Rosliep


"The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates."

--Oscar Wilde

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bbnixon
post Jun 16 07, 12:05
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Terry,

Lots of variation...formal and more informal...I use the informal below...here is a link to learn more

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinquain


Cinquain also has a more specialized meaning. Under the influence of Japanese poetry, the American poet Adelaide Crapsey developed a poetic form she also called a "cinquain." Hers is a short, unrhymed poem of twenty-two syllables, five lines of 2, 4, 6, 8, 2 syllables respectively

:) brenda


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Terocon101
post Jun 16 07, 14:49
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cinquain

Thanks Brenda, it seem the shorter the form the more rules involved. I will have to give it a go though.

Wikipedia, I love that site, and Wikiquote, even better.

Cheers,

Terry


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Terry


light
lights
light

--Raymond Rosliep


"The imagination imitates. It is the critical spirit that creates."

--Oscar Wilde

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Cleo_Serapis
post Jun 17 07, 14:12
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Hi Bebe.

One variation I heard recently was that these must be in iambic meter. I think these look better center-aligned IMHO.

While reading this, I guess my nits are that I got a bit tongue-tied and assume your repeat of words is intentional? With so few words to use in this form, I'm not certain if it works? I take away from this that this individual wants to be unique, so offer a few alternates to take or toss as you wish.

chirps for sang in L2 and for L3 & 4:
I long to hear my song
singly performed like no other

Enjoyed!
~Cleo sings.gif


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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind.

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