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7 POEMS FOR A CHALLENGE (elsewhere) |
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Feb 13 11, 05:50
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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SOLITUDE
Those who would have their solitude are wont to say “Now listen, Dude, I really want to be alone, be a good chap, now please be gone.”
Aloneness must be qualified : to interaction it is tied. Being alone, without the mess of t’other - such is meaningless ....
DREAMER Tribute to MLK
He had a dream I lived nightmares He changed a nation I got to go there Then he was shot And I was not He is the man I wish I had been ....
GLOBAL VILLAGE
There’s a small village in my heart where those I love form a large part; each cares for every other one, resulting in much mirth and fun. All this despite the many times they’re strangers, from far distant climes
MISSION SORT OF POSSIBLE
I have this mission for my life to lessen grief, all shock and strife, bring harmony to friend and foe, to not hold back, but boldly go west, young man, to east, north and south, with both feet firmly placed in mouth ....
VISTA VISION
Contemplating vistas I have seen I’m pleased to have been a human been, although first slap, when it made me cry was hell of a start, I’ll tell you why : it said, life is all travail and pain, for life agreed, again and again !
WIND AND WATER
As a baby of course I was windy at both ends Mother would pat or give gripe water
I managed to grow up after a fashion but I'm living proof neither worked ....
CRÈME-DE-LA-CREMATORIUM
I lead a helter-skelter life with kids galore, even a wife, who, each and every one of them thinks Dad’s a gem, a.m, p.m. True. For them I love to swelter until I’m burned out, in the smelter ....
Alan McAlpine Douglas
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Feb 13 11, 09:04
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear John,
Yours is an interesting viewpoint. The last was of course meant to be ligh-hearted, and there is no suggestion as to when I am burned out or up.
What do you suggest - place it elsewhere, remove it, change it ?
I'd quite like some others' views as well please.
Love Alan
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Feb 13 11, 09:15
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Ornate Oracle
Group: Centurion
Posts: 4,592
Joined: 31-October 03
From: New Jersey
Member No.: 39
Real Name: John
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Larry Carr
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Alan, I think your last one, Creme, maybe out of place; however, as you suggested, let's see what others think. JLY
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Give thanks for your new friends of today, but never forget the warm hugs of your yesterdays.
Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner
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Feb 18 11, 14:56
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear Friends,
Any one else to add please to this discussion - John and I are hanging ....
Love Alan
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Feb 19 11, 01:08
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 11,505
Joined: 15-June 07
From: Springfield, Louisiana
Member No.: 446
Real Name: Larry D. Jennings
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Just wondered in.
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Hi Alan,
Hello to you too John! There aren't a lot of postings or crits lately and not knowing the circumstances thereof, I can't comment on the paucity of, or the reasons for this fact. I've been pretty busy in the "non-ether" world and can find only a few minutes in the day to look in on the site and perhaps very late at night, comment/post/crit a little. Daniel and I have swapped limericks for a few weeks now without anyone else chiming or joining in the fun and I've wondered "Where the heck is everyone".
If it is crits and comments you want, you have laid out a large task for anyone to wade through. It's not that I have a lot of crits but you have inundated the reader with an electic smorgasbord of thought provoking poems and that, in itself, might intimidate some readers (and even some writers).
Here, for your perusal, are a very few crits and comments.
Solitude - S1L3 - Lose "do"! It really screws up your otherwise perfect tetrameter.
Solitude isn't all it is cracked up to be, especially when you're really A L O N E! It, like medicine, should be appreciated and used in proper proportions. You summed it all up with your last statement "such is meaningless". A very good life lesson to those who just want to be left alone. Be careful what you wish for - you might not like it as much as you think.
Dreamer - Looks like you started and ended in Dimeter with a few extra syls in the middle stanzas.
Perhaps:
He had a dream I lived nightmares He changed a nation (A nation changed) I got to go there (So I went there) Then he was shot And I was not He is the man I wish I had been... (I wish I'd been...)
I admired MLK for what he did and the time in which it was done. What I don't like is the way his words have now been twisted into a travesty. He was a martyr to equality everywhere (not just blacks) but that is still merely a dream. What a shame.
Global Village - Love it and wish that it was a fact and not just a whimsical dream.
M.S.O.P. - IMHO, you have succeeded, especially in the MM arena.
Your last three, good wry humor!
Thanks for sharing.
Larry
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Feb 19 11, 17:09
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear LArry,
I have noted that traffic falls off a cliff in times of economic stress - just when they need us most !
Didn't know about the Limericks, will go there often
"Do" is gone, thanks.
Thanks for the comments on the rest too, esp M S O P, unless you mean I am well known for putting both feet in my mouth ! (Kidding)
Greta Garbo is claimed to have said "I vant to be alone" - in fact she said "I vant to be LEFT alone" - which is quite different.
Love Alan
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