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Turnup's Christmas Card, MMHC 2007 Finalist |
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Oct 7 07, 11:38
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 271
Joined: 21-July 07
From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween
Member No.: 456
Real Name: Sam Richmond
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:N/A
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Turnup’s Christmas Card
Recently
The wife was makin’ Christmas cards To send, come Christmas next In Turnup’s thoughts, the ribbon box Was the perfect place to nest
So
He snuck inside the tangled mass An’ curled up in a ball This curlin’ took some furlin’ He is chubby after all
When
The wife run out of Elmer’s She went lookin’ fer some glue Sure enough she found Super stuff It was frikkin’ sticky too
Well
You might know the phone would ring An’ it would be her sister Yackety yak ‘fore she got back Turnup woke an’ missed ‘er
Yaaaawwwnnn
He thought he’d check the table top Fer unattended treats But what he got, sure was unsought Stuff was stickin’ to his feets
What th’ ???
He’d stick one out an’ shake it But when he set it down Tinsel, glitter and other litter To his toes was bound
It gets worse
In amongst the clutter Were brightly colored balls When Turnup sat, imagine that Got the picture ya’ll
Helllllp !
With a bowlegg’d, straddle, waddle The poor cat tried to run With hiss an’ spit an’ tizzy fit An’ decorated buns
Stop, drop an’ roll Turnup !
The room was gettin’ smaller As Turnup’s tensions grew As super glued an’ paper shoed Up the drapes he flew
Help’s on the way
That’s where the missus found him Atop the curtain rod She left the room to fetch the broom “I’ll get you down, by God!”
Epilogue
To clean a cat by shaving Might seem akin to sin But scissors cuts around his nuts Took me an’ two good men
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Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam MM Award Winner
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Oct 7 07, 11:57
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 181
Joined: 13-September 07
From: Conway, Arkansas
Member No.: 468
Real Name: Pamela
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:self
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OMG!!! Oh Sam!!! This is freaking hilarious! Having three furpurrs all my own (or do they have me? Hmm.) I can SO relate!! This is a delightful manic breeze and I love it to pieces! I'll be laughing all day over this! Thanks dearheart! Your other one was really super but this one's the best! Hugs, Pami
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A relaxed attitude, and a heart of gratitude, increases life whilst joy doth exude! <:))))><
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Oct 7 07, 13:00
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Thank you for your Holiday entry Sam!
Best of luck!
May the 'classic' holiday spirit be shared in your heart throughout the season!
~ Mosaic Musings Staff
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Oct 8 07, 00:33
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Babylonian
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 80
Joined: 3-August 04
From: Richfield, Utah
Member No.: 74
Writer of: Poetry
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What a hoot of a cat you've penned about here.............
WRITE ON!!
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Jim AKA Rapid-Fire Publisher/Editor of WRITE ON!! Poetry Magazette
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Oct 9 07, 18:27
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Group: Bronze Member
Posts: 544
Joined: 3-May 07
From: Central Florida
Member No.: 427
Real Name: Judith Labriola
Writer of: Poetry
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Oh Sam, this is so funny...I can really picture this ...I know my aunts cat years ago, fell into her old fashioned washing machine...(the kind that had the wringers) anyway, the cat got hysterical and was hissing and sputtering...he survived the ordeal, but I think it took my aunt a couple of weeks to recover...Blessings, Judi
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Nov 25 07, 21:38
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 271
Joined: 21-July 07
From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween
Member No.: 456
Real Name: Sam Richmond
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:N/A
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Dear Jim, Judi and JLY;
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a kind word for Ol' Turnup. Please be advised that no humans were injured in the production of this tale.
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Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam MM Award Winner
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Guest_Don_*
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Nov 26 07, 10:16
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Guest
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Dear 4rum,
Very humorous.
The wife run ran out of Elmer’s
We've had a few house cats that became enamoured with floor buried under Christmas morning wrappings and ribbons like grass under fallen yellow maple tree leaves. We learned to be careful where we stepped.
Our wrappers empty tape dispensers rather than use adhesive.
Don
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Nov 26 07, 11:33
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 271
Joined: 21-July 07
From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween
Member No.: 456
Real Name: Sam Richmond
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:N/A
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Thanks for reading and commenting Don. In keeping with the attempt at 'down home' grammar, 'run' was intentional. I often lapse into a phonetic pattern which I grew up with... speech patterns more atune to what we hear and say than what we read or accept as proper. Thanks for noticing though.
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Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam MM Award Winner
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Guest_Don_*
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Nov 26 07, 11:37
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Guest
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Okay with "run.'
Run silent, run deep.
Don
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Nov 28 07, 02:44
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,446
Joined: 16-October 06
From: UK
Member No.: 298
Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends
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Dear Sam,
Loved it, the punch line got a l.o.l !
I often do vernacular, and one thing that drives me crazy is how the computer will give apostrophes in the wrong "shape", curling the wrong way round.
If that happens to me, I do it 2x, then delete the first one !
Love Alan
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Nov 28 07, 07:16
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 271
Joined: 21-July 07
From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween
Member No.: 456
Real Name: Sam Richmond
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:N/A
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Hey Alan;
Good morning ! Yeah, that drives me nutzzzz. Thanks for the tip. (and the nice comment for Turnup).
Sam
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Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam MM Award Winner
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Dec 30 07, 10:33
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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Congratulations! This submission has been nominated as a finalist in the fourth annual Mosaic Musings Holiday Classic! Best of luck!
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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