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Quatern |
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Apr 18 05, 05:18
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Quatern, Latin for “four at a time,” is a 16-line French poetic form of four quatrains. Each line contains eight syllables, which may or may not have a metrical pattern. There is also no requirement of rhyme (usually there being none), but there must be one descending refrain:
L1 of the first quatrain becomes L2 of the second, L3 of the third, and L4 of the final quatrain.
Example (repeated line in bold, merely for illustration):
I'm Nurtured
I'm nurtured by the idea of you, Suckled at the breast of dawning, Consumed by omnipresent morning, Savored by your passion fruit.
Timeless links that unchain memories, I'm nurtured by the idea of you; Eternally humbled by your presence, Siderial, endless passion-moments.
Vessels sail around the tempests, souls present a compassed rudder; I'm nurtured by the idea of you, As winds direct our passion-sails.
Entwined by cords that won't untie. Bound by ties like forget-me knots, Savored eternally, souls entwined, I'm nurtured by the idea of you.
© Norman S. Pollack
... and the only quatern thus far from my own repertoire:
New Wise
I want to see Your eyes, not mine as I stand here to start each day before the mirror, ere I dine… ne’er speak a word before I pray.
Instead of blindly forging forth, I want to see. Your eyes — not mine — will let me find in others, worth beneath malignity, benign.
I need Your heart to realign my thinking, feeling. Reaching out, I want to see… Your eyes, not mine. I’ve viewed the world through fear and doubt.
With this new sight, I’ll close my eyes, to rest in awe of Your design, then sleep in peace. It’s no surprise I want to see Your eyes… not mine.
© Daniel J Ricketts 17 April 2005
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Apr 18 05, 05:34
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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This was my first attempt at a quatern... only to discover that it had two syllables too many in each line, alas:
Qua Turnabout (a 10-syllable variation of a quatern)
Today I wake up wondering who I am or why on earth I made it through the night and if I hadn’t, who would give a damn, or if they do, they’re glad I’m out of sight.
Who is this guy I find inside my skin today? I wake up wondering who I am… who wasn’t there last night. Who are his kin? Is it charades? Is this some kind of scam?
I went to sleep as happy as a clam, content in love with family and friends; today I wake up wondering who I am and whether life has any dividends.
This can’t be real, I say, so now I check my correspondence. Everything is spam! Just yesterday, a fifty-two-card deck; today I wake up wondering who I am.
© MLee Dickens’son 16 April 2005
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Apr 18 05, 21:33
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Real Name: Elizabeth
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Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Daniel,
This makes much more sense. The params that my instructor gave didn't sound all that complete. No wonder why. The refrain changes stanza by stanza. Thank you for clearing this up, Daniel.
I will be back with another try at this using the proper params!
Best To you, Liz
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Apr 19 05, 05:13
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Daniel.
Thanks so much for posting this form!
I have removed your first two examples, A Withered Leaf by Suzanne Honour 2002 and I'm Nurtured by Norman S. Pollack as we at Mosaic Musings need written permission to post non-member works.
If you can contact these two poets on our behalf, that would be great!
Thanks so much! ~ Cleo
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 19 05, 07:53
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Group: Gold Member
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
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Referred By:Lori
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ April 18 2005, 22:33) This makes much more sense. The params that my instructor gave didn't sound all that complete. No wonder why. The refrain changes stanza by stanza. Thank you for clearing this up, Daniel. [ I can understand the confusion, believe me! I wish I'd had the opportunity to learn poetry in some classroom. I really want to do that some day -- though you know that I may have a few disagreements with the instructor -- but for now, I just stumble along. I introduced Geller's evidently inadequate description of a ballad in a local group a couple of weeks ago, and whew! what a heated discussion ... but it ended up being a good learning experience. I was relying on his description, which evidently is a bit narrow. Hey, what did I know? ]I will be back with another try at this using the proper params! [ Your piece in the crit forum is clearly in the SPIRIT of a quatern, and I really love the way that it turned out, quite honestly. I think we can take some of the features of a form and create a work of our own, simply utilizing something that makes it stand out or draw attention to a part of our message. But however we use a form, it is the JOURNEY that is the joy often more than the destination.Best To you, Liz My best back to you, tryin' to stay in the Light, Daniel
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Apr 19 05, 07:59
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,821
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Apr 19 05, 18:54
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Mosaic Master
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From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Thanks Daniel.
I did receive your message and an email from Norm as well.
I look forward to trying this form soon!
Cheers1 ~Cleo :pharoah2
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 20 05, 05:13
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
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Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
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Real Name: Lori Kanter
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Referred By:Imhotep
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Hi Daniel.
Yes - I wonder if the eight syllables is set throughout the quaterns?
I'm counting Norm's example and I see many lines that are not 8..
I'm nurtured by the idea of you, 9 Suckled at the breast of dawning, 8 Consumed by omnipresent morning, 9 Savored by your passion fruit. 7
Timeless links that unchain memories, 9 I'm nurtured by the idea of you; 9 Eternally humbled by your presence, 9 Siderial, endless passion-moments. 10
Vessels sail around the tempests, 8 souls present a compassed rudder; 8 I'm nurtured by the idea of you, 9 As winds direct our passion-sails. 8
Entwined by cords that won't untie. 8 Bound by ties like forget-me knots, 8 Savored eternally, souls entwined, 8 I'm nurtured by the idea of you. 9
Do you count these lines the same?
Lori
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Apr 20 05, 06:05
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,821
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Fran and Lori:
I still haven't gotten word back for permission to post the more clear examples of quatern, so I'm disappointed. I hope that corrects itself soon.
So far as I know the eight syllables is indeed a 'requirement' of the form, though I still have not found what I consider to be an adequate discussion of the origin and history of the form.
Re Norm's piece, I'm guessing that he's reading 'the idea of you' as though it's "the eye dee yuv you" to squeeze it into 8 syllables. Of course, you're correct in your count of 9 otherwise.
The lines with "passion" in them have no reasonable explanation, since if you make that word to sound with three syllables in one line to make it sound like 8 syllables, you end up with 11 in the other!
It's a good example of the use of the repeating line, but not of the metrical flow. As Fran indicates, however, it turns out to be an effective medium for communicating the emotion that it contains.
Hoping to see both of you create one of these soon. I'm betting we could post one of yours AS and example soon! How would that be?
deLighting in your carefulness, Daniel :sun:
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Apr 26 05, 18:08
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Real Name: Elizabeth
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Referred By:Lori Kanter
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I've got a little crush on him, the one who winks behind my screen and often speaks in sonnetry of love and God and other things.
He's sauve and charming, quite a catch- I've got a little crush on him for just about a year or two it feels just like forever more.
A handsome, man of Godliness the kind that's rare to find...but oh I've got a little crush on him and wish each day he could be mine.
And yet, he's strong, holds to those vows he spoke so long ago, who knows... what he might do for if he knew I've got a little crush on him.
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Apr 27 05, 10:41
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,821
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From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Ah, Liz...
I think this is an excellent use of the form, a masterful piece in my limited view! ... and in pretty darned good iambic tetrameter blank verse to boot!
Brava! I REALLY should have been doing paper work when I wrote this, but the thoughts kind of jumped out of my brain when I read this today for the third and fourth time. I just HAD to comment, and since it's fine to offer a riposte in this forum... and in fact, it's encouraged... here goes:
Some Things We Write
Some things we write reveal too much about ourselves or someone who is real or just a figment… such imagination! Ballyhoo…
erupts in fertile minds about some things we write. Reveal too much, and rumors whisper, banter, shout from rooftops, ‘til we want to clutch
our throat or theirs ‘bout some nonesuch who is or isn’t in our life; some things we write reveal too much, could roust a husband or a wife!
I’ve been an addict, lover, drunk, a salesman, peg-leg with a crutch; if they’d been real, I would be sunk. Some things we write reveal too much.
© Daniel J Ricketts 27 April 2005
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Aug 20 05, 16:20
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,821
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
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Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Reflecting on Your Eyes
I want to see Your eyes . . . not mine, as I stand here to start each day before the mirror ere I dine . . . ne’er speak a word before I pray.
Instead of blindly plunging forth, I want to see Your eyes — not mine — will make me find in others, worth beneath malignancy . . . benign.
I need Your heart . . . to realign my thinking, feeling . . . reaching out, I want to see your eyes — not mine; I’ve viewed too much through fear and doubt.
Each night, then, as I close my eyes, I’ll rest in awe of Your design, then sleep in peace. It’s no surprise I want to see Your eyes . . . not mine.
© Chaplain (LTC) Daniel J Ricketts 20 August 2005
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Aug 20 05, 16:47
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Mosaic Master
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Hi Daniel
This is a wonderful piece! I had forgotten that you posted this interesting form!
The refrain in each stanza you choose to write is beautiful. It almost reads`as a Psalm.
May I use this poem in our poetic glossary that I am working on please? :king:
Touched, Lori
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Aug 20 05, 18:06
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Mosaic Master
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On Your Way
I’m saddened you went on your way to travel to a dwelling where no more a puzzle; heart’s held sway; you’ll join your loved ones waiting there.
Instead of being mad at Him I’m saddened you went on your way, through valleys formed in divine trim; you’ve left these woods a soul bouquet.
When I go limping through the days with thoughts of you, I’ll shed a tear… I’m saddened you went on your way, directions mapped with tender prayer.
The contours of your gentle smile… The mounds of things I’d hope to say The words you’ve left; a friend worthwhile… I’m saddened you went on your way.
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 20 Aug 2005
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Aug 21 05, 20:48
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 3,822
Joined: 3-August 03
From: Florida
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Real Name: Elizabeth
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori Kanter
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Hi Lori,
This is beautiful. The sentiments and meanings are more divine than I could express. The form, compliments the intent and Larry would be both proud and elated to read this, knowing it is the loving heart felt warmth of true friendship that binds each line. I wouldn't change a word.
With love, Liz
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Aug 21 05, 22:17
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,821
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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Aug 21 05, 22:29
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Group: Gold Member
Posts: 18,821
Joined: 2-August 03
From: Southwest New Jersey, USA
Member No.: 6
Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr.
Writer of: Poetry
Referred By:Lori
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QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Aug. 20 2005, 19:06) On Your Way
I’m saddened you went on your way to travel to a dwelling where no more a puzzle; heart’s held sway; you’ll join your loved ones waiting there.
Instead of being mad at Him I’m saddened you went on your way, through valleys formed in divine trim; you’ve left these woods a soul bouquet.
When I go limping through the days with thoughts of you, I’ll shed a tear… I’m saddened you went on your way, directions mapped with tender prayer.
The contours of your gentle smile… The mounds of things I’d hope to say The words you’ve left; a friend worthwhile… I’m saddened you went on your way.
Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 20 Aug 2005 Lori...
you could not do greater justice to this form in general nor to Larry in particular.
The form fits your message simply beautifully, and Larry fits it movingly accurately.
Thank you so much for capturing so many of our feelings in these precious words.
Love in Light, Daniel
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Aug 22 05, 05:37
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (AMETHYST @ Aug. 21 2005, 21:48) Hi Lori,
This is beautiful. The sentiments and meanings are more divine than I could express. The form, compliments the intent and Larry would be both proud and elated to read this, knowing it is the loving heart felt warmth of true friendship that binds each line. I wouldn't change a word.
With love, Liz Thanks so much Liz! :lovie:
Your words mean a great deal to me. :sings:
HUGS Lori :sun:
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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Aug 22 05, 05:38
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Mosaic Master
Group: Administrator
Posts: 18,892
Joined: 1-August 03
From: Massachusetts
Member No.: 2
Real Name: Lori Kanter
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:Imhotep
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QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Aug. 21 2005, 23:17) QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Aug. 20 2005, 17:47) Hi Daniel This is a wonderful piece! I had forgotten that you posted this interesting form! The refrain in each stanza you choose to write is beautiful. It almost reads`as a Psalm. May I use this poem in our poetic glossary that I am working on please? Touched, Lori Thank you very much, Lori!
You certainly may use it there...
and Mary just selected this piece for the next copy of Illuminations.
deLightingly, Daniel Thanks very much Daniel!
Congrats on this piece for being selected too! :dance:
Cheers! ~Cleo :pharoah2
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"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the RingsCollaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. KanterNominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner
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