Raindrops [Revised 24 Aug 2009], Seasonal Options

[Peterpan]

2nd Edit

Raindrops

After a long,
parched Winter,
I stir, and wish for
billowing cumulonimbus.
Atomic bomb-like
clouds assemble
in the East and climb,
into the sky.

The first gust gushes
over dehydrated earth
lifting dirt, and
mucks the horizon.

One drop, two drops
multiple drops; sharp water
spikes and pummels Earth,
trapping residue
soil, creating splash
puddles for scampering children.

Rivers run down
roads, wide enough
for paper boats to bounce,
capsize, drown,
with vanishing flow
into gobbling drains.

Earth sweats
her dustless skin
steams. She welcomes
the cleansing,
rewarding us with
fragrances from
sleeping Jasmine.
Mineral aromas shroud
the bathed evening air
energising Winter
cocooned commuters.

Spring shall appear soon -
she cannot fail us
she will arrive
with gifts of
water and flowers.

Copyright © August 2009 Beverleigh Gail Annegarn









1st Edit

Raindrops

After a long,
parched Winter,
I stir, and wish for
billowing cumulonimbus.
Atomic bomb-like
clouds assemble
in the East and climb,
into the sky.

The first gust gushes
over dehydrated earth
lifting dirt, and
mucks the horizon.

One drop, two drops
multiple drops; sharp water
spikes and pummels Earth,
trapping residue
soil. Creating splash
puddles for scampering children.

Rivers run down
roads, wide enough
for paper boats to bounce,
capsize, drown,
with vanishing flow
into gobbling drains.

Earth sweats;
her dustless skin
steams. She welcomes
the cleansing,
rewarding us with
fragrances from
sleeping Jasmine.
Mineral aromas shroud
the bathed evening air
energising Winter
cocooned commuters.

Spring shall appear soon -
She cannot fail us.
She will arrive
with gifts of
water and flowers.

Copyright © August 2009 Beverleigh Gail Annegarn









Raindrops

After a long,
parched Winter,
I stir, and wish for
billowing cumulonimbus.
Usually, clouds assemble
in the East and climb,
atomic bomb-like
into the sky.

The first gust flows
over dehydrated earth
lifting dirt, and
mucks the horizon.

One drop, two drops
multiple drops; sharp water
spikes and pummels earth,
trapping residue
soil. Creating splash
puddles for scampering children.

Rivers run down
roads, wide enough
for paper boats to bounce,
capsize, drown,
with vanishing flow
into gobbling drains.

Earth sweats;
her dustless skin
steams. She welcomes
the cleansing,
rewarding us with
fragrances from
sleeping Jasmine.
Mineral aromas shroud
the bathed evening air
energising Winter
cocooned commuters.

Spring should appear soon -
She will not fail us.
She will arrive
bearing gifts of
water and flowers.

Copyright © August 2009 Beverleigh Gail Annegarn

[Thoth]

Hi Bev,

This is a beautiful and very longed for tribute to the change of seasons. The imagery is crisp and concise, especially the start of the rains and all the associated sensations.

I loved the “winter cocooned commuters” (I feel like that now)

Spello @ energizing
Does winter need a capital W?
There is a word for the smell of new rain on dry soil but I can’t remember it right now.
Also perhaps use “Spring shall appear soon –“, it’s more positive.

See you soon,
Hugs,
Wally

[Peterpan]

Hi Thoth!

Thank you for the positive comments! Cant wait for the smell of rain. Nitrogen isn't it??

Rushing now.

Chat soon.

Bev

[Guest_bipolarwriter_*]

I could feel the rain. I could even smell the first drops. This was so beautifully written. Myself, I would not change a word. I could see spring coming for you. I enjoyed reading.
Melody

[Peterpan]

Thank you Melody, glad I achieved it!

Bev

[Psyche]

Lovely, Bev! I've been waiting patiently for a poem from YOU! And now you've delighted me/us with raindrops announcing Spring and the end of a long, parched Winter.

I can smell that rain, indeed I can...mmm.....Naturally, I relate it to my homeland in Patagonia. I used to dance under the rain, as a child (and even during adolescence!), letting it flow down my face, soak my hair & clothes....ah!

This stanza is especially attractive to me....

One drop, two drops
multiple drops; sharp water
spikes and pummels earth, <<<<<<< cool !
trapping residue
soil. Creating splash
puddles for scampering children.

<<<<<<< just so! Memories....

Your finale is so spiritual, I love it.

Spring should appear soon - <<<<<<<< uncertainty in 'should'. I like the contrast with the following lines, where the author appears to regain faith that everything will unfold properly. Nowadays, you never know! At present, in Buenos Aires, we're experiencing unseasonably warm weather. I hate to think what summer will bring us! Last year we skipped Spring alltogether...not good.

She will not fail us.
She will arrive
bearing gifts of
water and flowers.

<<<<< lovely, like a goddess!

I shall be back for another read, hugs, Syl***

[Peterpan]

Hello Psyche & Thoth~

I have posted an edit!

Many thanks for your comments.

Bev