Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s, Life Options

[Arnfinn]

A few weeks ago Pam and I spent a few days in Canberra. Our venue for breakfast was the hotel’s restaurant, Bobbie McGee’s. One morning whilst we were eating breakfast I noticed a puny macho business man sitting at a table on my left. Later a stunning young redheaded woman sat opposite the man, who was obviously a company executive.



Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s

He sat on the other side,
though his head was somewhere
between the third button on her
green blouse and half parted pink lips.

A red headed beauty;
a babe crawling amongst old growth—
next weeks work performance topic
around a company board table.

She, at her plate,
Green eyed, neck flounced ringlets,
shaped white linen from waist to knee.
Unpainted fingers cuddling curved
handles.

He mouthed sideways,
phone mid shoulder and ear: expression
for impression— mind on the evenings
project. He winked and gave a sickly
smile.

Arnfinn

[Eisa]

LOL! -- oh I love this one

I haven't read all the critiques so I hope I'm not just saying what everyone else is ... but there is very little to nit anyway -- it's great as it stands.

Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s

The title drew my attention immediately and I felt this was going to be a good'n.

He sat on the other side,
though his head was somewhere
between the third button on her
green blouse and half parted pink lips.

'head' doesn't quite sound right here, somehow. perhaps change it to 'thoughts' or 'eyes'

A red headed beauty;
a babe crawling amongst old growth—
next weeks work performance topic
around a company board table.

that second line is priceless.

last line --'company board table' sounds too wordy. Perhaps, 'boardroom table'

She, at her plate,
Green eyed, neck flounced ringlets,
shaped white linen from waist to knee.
Unpainted fingers cuddling curved
handles.

L1 -- she looked/stared at her plate
L2 -- green eyed is really unnecessary
L4 -- oh ... painted nails please. This gal must have painted nails to fit the image. You can use a bit of poetic lisence here. LOL!

He mouthed sideways,
phone mid shoulder and ear: expression
for impression— mind on the evenings
project. He winked and gave a sickly
smile.

I think perhaps sickly isn't quite the word for his smile, but I know what you mean ... I see it more as a suggestive leer.

This has been a great read to give me a giggle and made me want to slap him! LOL!

Snow