Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s, Life Options

[Arnfinn]

A few weeks ago Pam and I spent a few days in Canberra. Our venue for breakfast was the hotel’s restaurant, Bobbie McGee’s. One morning whilst we were eating breakfast I noticed a puny macho business man sitting at a table on my left. Later a stunning young redheaded woman sat opposite the man, who was obviously a company executive.



Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s

He sat on the other side,
though his head was somewhere
between the third button on her
green blouse and half parted pink lips.

A red headed beauty;
a babe crawling amongst old growth—
next weeks work performance topic
around a company board table.

She, at her plate,
Green eyed, neck flounced ringlets,
shaped white linen from waist to knee.
Unpainted fingers cuddling curved
handles.

He mouthed sideways,
phone mid shoulder and ear: expression
for impression— mind on the evenings
project. He winked and gave a sickly
smile.

Arnfinn

[duetsdove]

A few weeks ago Pam and I spent a few days in Canberra. Our venue for breakfast was the hotel’s restaurant, Bobbie McGee’s. One morning whilst we were eating breakfast I noticed a puny macho business man sitting at a table on my left. Later a stunning young redheaded woman sat opposite the man, who was obviously a company executive.

You men. . .y'all just jumped on this work, right? lolol Okay, okay. . .I've seen a few women do the same. . .with some guy who walks in. . .*grin*


Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s

He sat on the other side,
though his head was somewhere
between the third button on her
green blouse and half parted pink lips.

Really was his head between the third button and her lips. . .because that's some fast work. . .and in public, too. *smile* I'd opt for eyes. . .If she sat opposite him. . .did they know each other. . .that's what I'm assuming. . .Maybe

He sat on the other side of their table,
eyes somewhere between
the third button on her green blouse
and her half-parted pink lips

hyphenation needed. . .I'd agree with Tim. . .red hair and a green blouse pretty much spell out green eyes. . .

A red headed beauty;
a babe crawling amongst old growth—
next weeks work performance topic
around a company board table.

Again, hynenation needed in red-headed. . .I love the line a babe crawling amongst old growth. . .but it tends to infer (in my mind, jmho) that the entire restaurant is a bit old. . .dated. And the semi-colon should be replaced with a comma.

A red-headed beauty,
a babe crawling amongst old growth,
she was next week's work performance topic
around the boardroom table.

Don't think you need company. . .boardroom. . .implies that. . .or board table for that matter. The sentence is lacking a verb. . .easily fixed.

She, at her plate,
Green eyed, neck flounced ringlets,
shaped white linen from waist to knee.
Unpainted fingers cuddling curved
handles.

Again the sentence is lacking a verb. . .what is she doing at her plate? Should you opt to keep the eye color and remove the color from the blouse. . green-eyed is hyphenated. . I know what you're going for with neck flounced ringlets. . .but it is confusing. . .I also found it interesting that her nails were unpainted (and I would use unpainted nails. . .as it's not the fingers we generally paint). . .seems that someone dressed as she is. . .would have painted her nails. . .an interesting observation on your part as well. . .quite attentive. . .must have already had the poem in your mind, no doubt, eh? *smile*

He mouthed sideways,
phone mid shoulder and ear: expression
for impression— mind on the evenings
project. He winked and gave a sickly
smile.

I like the idea of using projections. . .mid-shoulder requires that darn hyphen. . .and the sickly smile. . .what's up with that? Not a quick way to the bedroom I would think. .with a sickly smile. . .puny or not. . .lolol

Nice read. . .

~Ren~

Arnfinn

[Arnfinn]

A few weeks ago Pam and I spent a few days in Canberra. Our venue for breakfast was the hotel’s restaurant, Bobbie McGee’s. One morning whilst we were eating breakfast I noticed a puny macho business man sitting at a table on my left. Later a stunning young redheaded woman sat opposite the man, who was obviously a company executive.

You men. . .y'all just jumped on this work, right? lolol Okay, okay. . .I've seen a few women do the same. . .with some guy who walks in. . .*grin*


Breakfast at Bobbie McGee’s

He sat on the other side,
though his head was somewhere
between the third button on her
green blouse and half parted pink lips.

Really was his head between the third button and her lips. . .because that's some fast work. . .and in public, too. *smile* I'd opt for eyes. . .If she sat opposite him. . .did they know each other. . .that's what I'm assuming. . .Maybe

He sat on the other side of their table,
eyes somewhere between
the third button on her green blouse
and her half-parted pink lips

hyphenation needed. . .I'd agree with Tim. . .red hair and a green blouse pretty much spell out green eyes. . .

A red headed beauty;
a babe crawling amongst old growth—
next weeks work performance topic
around a company board table.

Again, hynenation needed in red-headed. . .I love the line a babe crawling amongst old growth. . .but it tends to infer (in my mind, jmho) that the entire restaurant is a bit old. . .dated. And the semi-colon should be replaced with a comma.

A red-headed beauty,
a babe crawling amongst old growth,
she was next week's work performance topic
around the boardroom table.

Don't think you need company. . .boardroom. . .implies that. . .or board table for that matter. The sentence is lacking a verb. . .easily fixed.

She, at her plate,
Green eyed, neck flounced ringlets,
shaped white linen from waist to knee.
Unpainted fingers cuddling curved
handles.

Again the sentence is lacking a verb. . .what is she doing at her plate? Should you opt to keep the eye color and remove the color from the blouse. . green-eyed is hyphenated. . I know what you're going for with neck flounced ringlets. . .but it is confusing. . .I also found it interesting that her nails were unpainted (and I would use unpainted nails. . .as it's not the fingers we generally paint). . .seems that someone dressed as she is. . .would have painted her nails. . .an interesting observation on your part as well. . .quite attentive. . .must have already had the poem in your mind, no doubt, eh? *smile*

He mouthed sideways,
phone mid shoulder and ear: expression
for impression— mind on the evenings
project. He winked and gave a sickly
smile.

I like the idea of using projections. . .mid-shoulder requires that darn hyphen. . .and the sickly smile. . .what's up with that? Not a quick way to the bedroom I would think. .with a sickly smile. . .puny or not. . .lolol

Nice read. . .

~Ren~

Arnfinn

Good to see ya Ren, you seem to be popping up all over the place.


About the third button etc. Nah, I was implying thats where his mind was.

The green eyes. Yeah, I'm working on that.

The 'old growth' Yeah, your the only one thats mentioned that, glad you picked it up, the dining room was mostly oldies. 'A babe in the woods'

Lacking a verb ya say. Well I'll have to have a look at that n' rectify the matter.

Most of your other comments have I've addressed in my interaction with Tim. Though, I will certainly take what you've said into consideration when I dooooooo my revision.

John