Hi John,
QUOTE
she was a first tripper, she didn't know the routine of the dining room, didn't know where to get plates, didn't know where the toast making machine was etc.
That's what i'm talking about. Right there. Her eyes and awkward, jerky movements belied whatever grace she would normally have. Those descriptions add dimension to the lady, and complexity to the situation. While Gregory and i have seen this plenty of times, you can still tell the tale if you give us something interesting. Even linking the deer in headlights feeling so we become sympathetic to her surroundings before the guy makes a revealing gesture or something to let us know that she is more than way over her head at the dining table.
Thanks for coming back. Oh and the line should have been...
neck flounced with ringlets, i think.
Cheers!
~tim/azurepoetry