Wheels of Change [ Revision #1 ], a Revolutionary Rondeau Options

[JustDaniel]

Wheels of Change

A smouldering... a charcoal fire
that heats great iron hoops for tires
to ring the wheelwright's oaken spokes
on circled pine, for working folks
to move with freedom — their desire.

Their taxing load, it seems, inspires
new ways of commerce and requires
a new restraint, a gentler yoke —
a smoldering.

Wheels turn. Some gentry now admire
their revolution, yet the ire
of governance will steep, provoke
still more rebellion as he soaks
them... takes a powder... leaves his pyre
a-smolderin'.

© MLee Dickens'son 18 July 2006

at the wheelwright’s shop in Williamsburg, VA
near the Colonial Governor’s Palace.

Original

A smoldering, a charcoal fire
that heats great iron hoops for tires
to ring the wheelwright's oaken spokes
on circled pine, for working folks
to move with freedom — their desire.

Their taxing load, it seems, inspires
new ways of commerce and requires
a new restraint, a gentler yoke
— a smoldering.

Wheels turn. Some gentry now admire
their revolution, yet the ire
of governance would soon invoke
new fear, tea-off his subjects, soak
them, take a powder, leave his pyre
a-smoldering.

[JLY]

Daniel,

Upon first reading this, I thought the first line should read as follows,

A smoldering, {a} charcoal fire

but then I realized the emphasis you put on "a smoldering", and in that regard it works.

Liked your injection of the word "ire" which expresses strong emotiong but is a word that most of us overlook.

Daniel, as usual, you have a command of this poetic form.

JLY