 Cryptic Chrysalis, Revised 01 May ~ thanks Liz! |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
  Apr 14 05, 18:49
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
Cryptic Chrysalis
Days are made longer by a longing to belong... Dusk turns detestable in shadowy guise, left to rot in a cryptic chrysalis... Out of the wakening an epiphanous light proffers in kind; wings widen to nurture faculties unfocused… only to be traumatized by truth veiled in fallacious vows. © 2005 Lorraine M Kanter ·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
  
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Apr 17 05, 13:12
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
QUOTE(Ephiny @ April 15 2005, 13:26) Hello Lori  This is beautifully written, and as James said, I can empathise with the feelings..especially the first two lines..the word "chrysalis", a slight note of hope suggesting change, transformation. And these beautiful lines wings widen to nurture faculties unfocused… so tenderly and delicately phrased..just like a tentative note of hope, and the use of the word "nurture" is so powerful Hi Lucie! Thanks for your view on that stanza - it is what I hoped you'd read into it. QUOTE The ending is sad..a return to reality, suspicion and confidence shattered realism veiled in fallacious vows. great wording here. These are such a sad few lines, mostly because of the hope and promise of the previous ones, however, I still see the title image of the chrysalis containing some of that hope..there is still that chance to emerge and take flight. Well done..great work :pharoah2 Oh yes - there is ALWAYS hope and one should never give up. For this piece though, it has dual meaning as it symbolic of something that happened to me very recently. Perhaps I will create a second version of this with a more 'happy' ending as the beautiful butterfly spreads her wings and begins anew.. Thanks for your visit today Lucie!  ~Cleo  ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Posts in this topic
Cleo_Serapis Cryptic Chrysalis Apr 14 05, 18:49 
Nina Hi Lori
There is a sad despairing feel to this po... Apr 15 05, 01:07 Dear Nina,
Days are made longer
by a longing to b... Apr 15 05, 02:00 Nina Hi Alan
I think the long - in 3 different way, is... Apr 15 05, 02:41 Dear Nina,
"you are probably right. It was ... Apr 15 05, 04:28 Jox Hi Lori,
This is more an appreciation, than a cri... Apr 15 05, 04:35 Ephiny Hello Lori
This is beautifully written, and as ... Apr 15 05, 12:26 Billydo Hi Lori
James suggested that I crit away and not ... Apr 17 05, 03:02 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Nina @ April 15 2005, 02:07)Hi Lori
Th... Apr 17 05, 12:08 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Alan @ April 15 2005, 03:00)Dear Nina,
... Apr 17 05, 12:14 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Jox @ April 15 2005, 05:35)Hi Lori,
Th... Apr 17 05, 13:03 Jox Hi Lori...
Sorry about your thumb - nasty. (Was i... Apr 17 05, 13:08 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Billydo @ April 17 2005, 04:02)Hi Lori
... Apr 17 05, 13:22 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Jox @ April 17 2005, 14:08)[b]Hi Lori..... Apr 17 05, 13:25 Toumai Hi Cleo,
This poem made me very uncomfortable whe... Apr 21 05, 00:56 Siren Hey Lori,
Reading this made me feel a kind of bar... Apr 24 05, 18:26 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Toumai @ April 21 2005, 01:56)Hi Cleo,
... Apr 24 05, 18:50 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Siren @ April 24 2005, 19:26)Hey Lori,
... Apr 24 05, 18:54 AMETHYST Wow Lori,
This is a very dramatic and powerful p... Apr 25 05, 20:50 Cybele Dear Lori,
This one appeared while I was on holid... Apr 26 05, 04:25 Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(AMETHYST @ April 25 2005, 21:50)Wow Lor... May 1 05, 12:58 
Cleo_Serapis QUOTE(Cybele @ April 26 2005, 05:25)Dear Lori... May 1 05, 13:04 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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