 Voice in the Dark, a LogaRhyme |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 Feb 3 05, 06:55
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#1
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 19,923 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori  |
Voice in the Dark
I’m feeling He’s abandoned me; a spiral down won’t set me free... I need to cling, remembering, when I’ve no sight, the things He’s shown me in the light... in darkness, sing. “How can you sing!” a voice may blare. “It’s obvious He doesn’t care; just face the facts.” Amid the drone of dark despair, a still, small Voice is always there; on this I act. God is near the broken-hearted, hears before a prayer is started... been there too... near the one whose spirit’s crushed; “I’ll never leave you.” List now… hushed... He cries with you. © Daniel J Ricketts 03 Feb 2005 Psalm 34:18 ·······  ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Feb 7 05, 06:28
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#2
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Daniel.
 A piece that really sends a heartfelt message - well done! My only nit is here in L2: I’m feeling He’s abandoned me; a spiral down won’t set me free... I cannotthink of a good alternative though - it's the word 'down'? A spiral that won't set me free perhaps? Anyway - well received and a very good piece! :lovie: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner      |
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Posts in this topic
JustDaniel Voice in the Dark Feb 3 05, 06:55 
Dear Daniel,
Thank you, this is very beautiful.
... Feb 3 05, 07:11 JLY Daniel,
This is an uplifting piece. The foll... Feb 3 05, 11:07 Don Hi Just Daniel,
A nice piece, which reminded me o... Feb 3 05, 11:47 Cybele Hello Daniel,
You have me foxed. What is a loga... Feb 4 05, 05:08 jgdittier Dear Just Daniel,
I suppose for most poets mastery... Feb 4 05, 08:24 Siren Hello Daniel,
Because I can relate to this, it ha... Feb 4 05, 16:54 heartsong7 Hi Daniel...This delivers a fine message to fit th... Feb 5 05, 11:18 Perrorist Hi, Daniel
I'm not a spiritual person but I e... Feb 5 05, 11:34 Athena QUOTE(Just Daniel @ Feb. 03 2005, 04:55)Hi Da... Feb 7 05, 01:50 JustDaniel QUOTE(Alan @ Feb. 03 2005, 07:11)Thank you, t... Feb 7 05, 16:40 JustDaniel QUOTE(JLY @ Feb. 03 2005, 11:07)Daniel,
This ... Feb 7 05, 17:15 JustDaniel QUOTE(Don @ Feb. 03 2005, 11:47)A nice piece,... Feb 7 05, 17:24 JustDaniel QUOTE(Cybele @ Feb. 04 2005, 05:08)You have m... Feb 7 05, 17:40 JustDaniel QUOTE(jgdittier @ Feb. 04 2005, 08:24)Dear Ju... Feb 7 05, 17:51 Cybele Hi Daniel,
[ I'm trying to 'admonish... Feb 7 05, 17:57 JustDaniel QUOTE(Siren @ Feb. 04 2005, 16:54)Because I c... Feb 7 05, 18:00 JustDaniel QUOTE(heartsong7 @ Feb. 05 2005, 11:18)This d... Feb 7 05, 18:11 
Don QUOTE(Just Daniel @ Feb. 07 2005, 17:24)QUOTE... Feb 7 05, 20:00 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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