ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN, paradoxes of spoken English Options

[Psyche]

ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN

When English is the tongue we speak
Why is 'break' not rhymed with 'freak'?
Can you tell me why it is
'Namely' is written 'viz'?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say 'sew' but likewise 'few'?
And the maker of a verse
cannot match his 'horse' with 'worse'?
'Beard' sounds not the same as 'heard',
'Cord' is different from 'word'.
'Cow' is 'cow' but 'low' is 'low',
'Shoe' is never rhymed with 'foe'.

Think of 'comb', 'tomb' and 'bomb',
'Doll' and 'roll' and 'home' and 'some'.
And since 'pay' is rhymed with 'say'
Why not 'paid' with 'said', I pray?
We have 'blood' and 'food' and 'good',
'Mould' is not pronounced like 'could'.
Wherefore 'done' but 'gone' and 'lone'
Is there any reason known?

Is there any sensible ground
To say 'wound' for hurt, while string is 'wound'?
Do you call it equity
To say 'mutton' and yet 'mutiny'?
Do you think it really wise
To speak 'advertisement' if you 'advertise'?
So, in short, it seems to me,
Sounds and letters don't agree.

(From "OPEN UP A TEACHER") .... don't know the author.

Contributed by Psyche, a puzzled person from Argentina.

 
         

[Guest_Jox_*]

Hi Alan,

I'm not a romantic, I'm afraid. (Which is why, even if I had your skill, I couldn't write many of the poems which you do - most impressive).

We either use "partner" or just "my wife / husband" - easier and we don't care. But we're too old to be boys and girls, alas!

All the best, James.