ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN, paradoxes of spoken English Options

[Psyche]

ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN

When English is the tongue we speak
Why is 'break' not rhymed with 'freak'?
Can you tell me why it is
'Namely' is written 'viz'?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say 'sew' but likewise 'few'?
And the maker of a verse
cannot match his 'horse' with 'worse'?
'Beard' sounds not the same as 'heard',
'Cord' is different from 'word'.
'Cow' is 'cow' but 'low' is 'low',
'Shoe' is never rhymed with 'foe'.

Think of 'comb', 'tomb' and 'bomb',
'Doll' and 'roll' and 'home' and 'some'.
And since 'pay' is rhymed with 'say'
Why not 'paid' with 'said', I pray?
We have 'blood' and 'food' and 'good',
'Mould' is not pronounced like 'could'.
Wherefore 'done' but 'gone' and 'lone'
Is there any reason known?

Is there any sensible ground
To say 'wound' for hurt, while string is 'wound'?
Do you call it equity
To say 'mutton' and yet 'mutiny'?
Do you think it really wise
To speak 'advertisement' if you 'advertise'?
So, in short, it seems to me,
Sounds and letters don't agree.

(From "OPEN UP A TEACHER") .... don't know the author.

Contributed by Psyche, a puzzled person from Argentina.

 
         

[Guest_RonPrice_*]

I have been playing with our language, listening to people discuss the ambiguities and paradoxes of expression for 50 years, 30 of these were as an English teacher. I must confess--although I probably should not--that after what must amount to 1000s of hours on the subject I am happy to accept the language in all its complexities and use it at last with some pleasure. I found, even when I was an English teacher, that the pleasure of writing got caught up in so many other concerns. Now that I am retired I can enjoy the words at last and not worry/concern myself with the endless vagaries of spelling, grammar and punctuation which I did ad nauseam as a teacher. This poem reminded me of my days as an English teacher.-Ron Price.