ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN, paradoxes of spoken English Options

[Psyche]

ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN

When English is the tongue we speak
Why is 'break' not rhymed with 'freak'?
Can you tell me why it is
'Namely' is written 'viz'?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say 'sew' but likewise 'few'?
And the maker of a verse
cannot match his 'horse' with 'worse'?
'Beard' sounds not the same as 'heard',
'Cord' is different from 'word'.
'Cow' is 'cow' but 'low' is 'low',
'Shoe' is never rhymed with 'foe'.

Think of 'comb', 'tomb' and 'bomb',
'Doll' and 'roll' and 'home' and 'some'.
And since 'pay' is rhymed with 'say'
Why not 'paid' with 'said', I pray?
We have 'blood' and 'food' and 'good',
'Mould' is not pronounced like 'could'.
Wherefore 'done' but 'gone' and 'lone'
Is there any reason known?

Is there any sensible ground
To say 'wound' for hurt, while string is 'wound'?
Do you call it equity
To say 'mutton' and yet 'mutiny'?
Do you think it really wise
To speak 'advertisement' if you 'advertise'?
So, in short, it seems to me,
Sounds and letters don't agree.

(From "OPEN UP A TEACHER") .... don't know the author.

Contributed by Psyche, a puzzled person from Argentina.

 
         

[Guest_Jox_*]

Most amusing Sylvia.

I suppose, as someone from the land that invented this language, I ought to say something to justify the situation. But I cannot.

If we were starting a new language we wouldn't, to use an Irish phrase, start from here. I'm told it makes learning the language for those whose first language is not English, very hard.

Of course, there are also differences in pronunciation of some words between the UK and the USA - the rest of the world speaking in both often. Gershwin's famous "I say potato, you say potato" (and tomatoes) rather explained that.

Your thrust is about the sounds of words. However, Lori brings the subjects to their meanings which is equally important and crazy.

I can explain two points only.

"Viz" is Latin, not English per se.

"Driveway" was the term for large country houses which did have drives. then when the plebs had cars the term was mis-used and has stuck.

"Parkways" - we don't have here, not sure what the are (apart from a type of road).

Many words do this. A current famous example is "paedophile." It literally means child-lover. In every other context (Francophile - lover of everything French; Anglophile - lover of all things English etc) it is a positive message. So many teachers, parents and nurses should be able to be called "paedophiles." But the word has been subverted and will probably never again be used in its correct sense.

One which always annoyed my parents was "gay." And I think I agree. I was an excellent small word which worked well in poetry and prose to mean "happy" or "bright" (which is why the homosexual lobby appropriated it for themselves).

"Girl" is another badly mis-used word. It ought to mean immature female (I'll let others judge the maximum age there!) but, even pensioners now talk of "going out with the girls."

Finally, from me - but one could almost go on for ever - the ideal of 30+ people having "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" is crazy; embarrassing even. My partner and I never married (we used to be against it on principle) but I hate anyone describing me as her "boyfriend" - utterly crazy.

So I'm afraid that similar spellings with widely different pronunciations and words being twisted out of their original use, will all continue and we'll just have to put up with it!

James.