ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN, paradoxes of spoken English Options

[Psyche]

ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN

When English is the tongue we speak
Why is 'break' not rhymed with 'freak'?
Can you tell me why it is
'Namely' is written 'viz'?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say 'sew' but likewise 'few'?
And the maker of a verse
cannot match his 'horse' with 'worse'?
'Beard' sounds not the same as 'heard',
'Cord' is different from 'word'.
'Cow' is 'cow' but 'low' is 'low',
'Shoe' is never rhymed with 'foe'.

Think of 'comb', 'tomb' and 'bomb',
'Doll' and 'roll' and 'home' and 'some'.
And since 'pay' is rhymed with 'say'
Why not 'paid' with 'said', I pray?
We have 'blood' and 'food' and 'good',
'Mould' is not pronounced like 'could'.
Wherefore 'done' but 'gone' and 'lone'
Is there any reason known?

Is there any sensible ground
To say 'wound' for hurt, while string is 'wound'?
Do you call it equity
To say 'mutton' and yet 'mutiny'?
Do you think it really wise
To speak 'advertisement' if you 'advertise'?
So, in short, it seems to me,
Sounds and letters don't agree.

(From "OPEN UP A TEACHER") .... don't know the author.

Contributed by Psyche, a puzzled person from Argentina.

 
         

[Cleo_Serapis]

Hahahahahahah Sylvia!

Why don't we say Mouses instead of mice, gooses instead of geese, moose is still a moose (or two).
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Clever girl!
Cleo :p