 Sorrow, Sonnet (working on it) |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies
 Feb 13 22, 16:13
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 10,021 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting  |
Sorrow
When you were yet a child, so dear to me, tummy flat upon the rug, finger on a book to read the lines, your lips a babbling brook, my heart went out to you, my busy bumble-bee. I loved those hours, filled with joyous play, loved your curly hair and sturdy limbs so quick your favorite branch to climb. There were no better times or happier days and now I sit beside your arms upon the quilt, so motionless, their lifeline out of symmetry, and cannot grasp the ingrate chronology, must hide my face awhile, with tears of guilt. I marvel at the gallant spirit in you, understand the battle in those dimming eyes and guess your nameless sorrow, the solitude, youth’s body wasted frail your soul to heaven rise. ·······  ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
  
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Feb 17 22, 05:01
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#2
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 19,923 Joined: 2-August 03 From: Southwest New Jersey, USA Member No.: 6 Real Name: Daniel J Ricketts, Sr. Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori |
re the Title, I guessed that, but you have the SAME TITLE in the forum listed for both poems; one should be changed.
I do hope my notes will help in some way. deLighting to share, Daniel 
······· ·······Slow down; things will go faster!
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Feb 17 22, 12:50
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#3
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Ornate Oracle Posts: 10,021 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Feb 17 22, 07:01 )  re the Title, I guessed that, but you have the SAME TITLE in the forum listed for both poems; one should be changed. I do hope my notes will help in some way. deLighting to share, Daniel Yes, I'll correct the title part. Your suggestions and corrections are spot on. I shall try to do a revision for you and come back with it. Thanks so much! ······· ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner |
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Posts in this topic
Psyche Sorrow Feb 13 22, 16:13 
JustDaniel The title of this "Sorrow" poem says it... Feb 15 22, 22:15 
Psyche QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Feb 16 22, 00:15 ) Th... Feb 16 22, 13:14 Psyche QUOTE (Psyche @ Feb 16 22, 15:14 ) QUOTE ... Feb 16 22, 13:17 JustDaniel Will look forward to it... and please change the T... Feb 18 22, 06:31 Psyche QUOTE (JustDaniel @ Feb 18 22, 08:31 ) Wi... Feb 19 22, 12:39 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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