 Warm Coverlet |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Free Verse Poetry for Critique -> Seren's Synapse
 Dec 19 16, 16:00
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 9,995 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting  |
Warm Coverlet
Snowflakes float in all directions: fragile, hapless crystals borne by chancy breezes less stable than hearts' in bloom. Giddy water molecules transformed into hexagons, or other symmetrical shapes, ascending, or descending, flippant like Chaos’ unrelenting hazard. One heart beats erratically, attuned to nature’s dance, from a lofty metal bed. Quilted and pillowed, eyes unfocused, gazing at gauzy air. This heart is not hampered by diffident frozen droplets, a myriad of them tracing patterns on steamy window panes, cautioning those languid eyes. Soothing, salty tears shed by an exiled mind on white cotton robes in harsh winter's clime… Will snow keep this heart cozy, under a geometric patchwork stitched by chuckling old ladies? God’s creatures lie dormant beneath snow’s warm coverlet. By Psyche, Bariloche, Argentina. 2016 ·······  ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
  
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Dec 19 16, 20:34
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#2
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 Nomad  Posts: 12 Joined: 12-January 16 Member No.: 5,299 Real Name: Michael Trotta Writer of: Poetry |
Syl,
I'm having a hard time finding myself in this poem, not from lack of inspiration or imagery, but from the abundance of possibilities. It could be a sick child missing the snow or a teenager missing a young love, or an adult missing both. The quilt is a nice touch. I'm thinking a woman because good things are worth wrapping in white cotton robes. I do see some darker, heavier drifts in here as well but that is probably me. "God’s creatures lie dormant beneath snow’s warm coverlet." I'm not sure I buy this. I mean, bears and skunks and opossums lie there too. And God's creatures lie pretty much anywhere, save hell. What I really want to know, is it a fawn, a cub, a mink, a hedgehog, or maybe a bumblebee? I think hexagons and symmetrical shapes are way to simple for this. They pre-reinforce the quilted geometric shapes below. Unless of course, that was the intent? mt |
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Posts in this topic
Psyche Warm Coverlet Dec 19 16, 16:00 
Psyche Hi mt2,
Thanks for commenting on my poem. I'll... Dec 21 16, 16:14 
Eisa I thought I'd commented on this yesterday, Syl... Jan 5 17, 17:45 Psyche Hi Eisa,
So great to have you here again with y... Jan 5 17, 18:45 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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