 Wanderlust **, an Alternating Sonnet |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies
 Jul 19 14, 10:13
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
Wanderlust
She greets the morn' with tantalizing grace and flits along an unsuspecting breeze. Her wonderland awaits. Moments she'd freeze if only she could find her long-lost place. Among a floral canvas, splendor calls where boundaries are scaled. No longer walls preclude her progress; winsome turns she'll drift! Entwined within bright blooms, she hides her face and dines on woodland's nectar. She's a tease! Companions of the glen can never seize her boundless will. Yet, always there's a trace . . . And when her time has come to pass, we'll see true loveliness preserved: Perception's gift and wonder if somehow, she could be me. Copyright © Lorraine M Kanter 15 July 2014 ·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
  
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Jul 19 14, 17:27
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 Egyptian  Posts: 369 Joined: 10-May 11 From: Outskirts of Sonoran Desert Member No.: 4,480 Real Name: JerryK Writer of: Poetry & Prose |
Hi Lori,
now let's see who the mysterious "she" might be, that you would want to be. A fairy? A winged nymph? I could narrow it down to a butterfly or--dare I say--hummingbird; or simply you in a flight of fancy? Very nice flow; maybe with just a trace of unevenness in line 3, but that might well be me because I can't read aloud on account of my wife shushing me. Nice work, with just the right touch of mystery.  Jerry |
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Jul 21 14, 07:27
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Mosaic Master Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
QUOTE (jerryk @ Jul 19 14, 18:27 )  Hi Lori, now let's see who the mysterious "she" might be, that you would want to be. A fairy? A winged nymph? I could narrow it down to a butterfly or--dare I say--hummingbird; or simply you in a flight of fancy? Very nice flow; maybe with just a trace of unevenness in line 3, but that might well be me because I can't read aloud on account of my wife shushing me. Nice work, with just the right touch of mystery. Jerry Why hello there Jerry!  Thank you for coming in a visiting my thread.  I haven't written anything in ages. Sam (4Rum) inspired me after I inspired him to write a sonnet to a beautiful butterfly photograph he took at posted on Facebook.  I always have dual meanings in my poetry and you are not far off. It is a butterfly at face value, BUT it is me as well. Ah yes, L3 (and 4): Her wonderland awaits. Moments she’d freeze if only she could find her long-lost place. The iamb gets kicked to the curb in the last half of that line. Hmmm - I'll have to ponder that some. Pwerhaps a quick change is to replace 'moments' with instants? Still not quite there... Your thoughts are welcomed as always! Thanks again and cheers! ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner |
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Posts in this topic
Cleo_Serapis Wanderlust ** Jul 19 14, 10:13 
Thoth Mmh . . .who is this minuscule ethereal spirit? I ... Jul 20 14, 01:32 
Cleo_Serapis QUOTE (Thoth @ Jul 20 14, 02:32 ) Mmh . .... Jul 21 14, 07:35 Psyche Hi Lori!
What delicately inspiring lines i... Aug 1 14, 23:18 Keith Logan Hi Lorri,
as usual, I enjoy your writing and find... Aug 5 14, 02:28 Cleo_Serapis Why hello Keith!
Hahaha - I find my writing ... Aug 10 14, 14:38 Cleo_Serapis Why hello Sylvia and thanks for dropping into my ... Aug 10 14, 14:33 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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