 Signs ***, Self pity, in answer to Jerry's cheerfulness! |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies
 May 2 14, 00:52
Post
#1
|
|
 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 10,025 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting  |
Signs When we were brash of heart and full of play, embracing by the lake, svelte swans glided close to shore. Sensual scenes confided in earthy words, with kinky toys held sway - Myth’s lovers shrugged off portents of bleak fate: Leda’s raunchy trysts with Swan’s beak untrue! We missed the relished lane that leads anew to fancied nuptial chains we claimed could wait. Today I brawl beside the loathsome lake and trace a humbled heart with bloodstone dew on mirrored heavens… - entranced, hope renews, but drifts embodied in the knave swans’ wake. Old sylphine chants inform my soul that you in faith will not reverse my contrite state. By Psyche Copyright: Sylvia Evelyn, Bariloche, Argentina, 2014. www.commons.wikimedia.org File:Copy of 'Leda and the Swan', Leonardo da Vinci.
Attached File(s)
·······  ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
  
|
|
 |
Replies
|
May 3 14, 08:05
Post
#2
|
|
 Egyptian  Posts: 369 Joined: 10-May 11 From: Outskirts of Sonoran Desert Member No.: 4,480 Real Name: JerryK Writer of: Poetry & Prose |
QUOTE (Psyche @ May 1 14, 22:52 )  Signs When we were brash of heart and full of play, embracing by the lake, svelte swans glided close to shore. Sensual scenes confided in earthy words, with kinky toys held sway - I love this line Myth’s lovers shrugged off portents of bleak fate: Leda’s raunchy trysts with Swan’s beak untrue! this rings a bell, lol We missed the relished lane that leads anew to fancied nuptial chains we claimed could wait. Today I brawl beside the loathsome lake and trace a humbled heart with bloodstone dew near-rhyme on mirrored heavens… - entranced, hope renews, but drifts embodied in the knave swans’ wake. Old sylphine chants inform my soul that you couplet should be rhymed in faith will not reverse my contrite state. By Psyche Copyright: Sylvia Evelyn, Bariloche, Argentina, 2014. www.commons.wikimedia.org File:Copy of 'Leda and the Swan', Leonardo da Vinci. Hello Sylvia; well, well; so, I inspired you to write a sonnet? I love the overall mood expressed in this contemporary sonnet on a mythological theme that's (just possibly) intermingled with personal reflections on failed love (I hope it isn't so, lol). You indicated that substantial critique is desired? I'm too enthralled by your write to offer more than I have noted in your text. I'm sure, a more detailed feedback than mine will be forthcoming, but I accept a poem's contents rather than its perfection; and I love yours.  Jerry |
|
|
|
Posts in this topic
Psyche Signs *** May 2 14, 00:52 
Psyche Hi Jerry!
Thanks so much for visiting and comm... May 4 14, 00:19 
jerryk Hi Sylvia;
I'll need to return to your poem in... May 4 14, 09:04 Psyche Hi Jerry!
I'm trying to catch up on commen... Jun 25 14, 23:07 jerryk Hi again, Sylvia;
I have dabbled in the 3 major so... May 4 14, 13:26 Eisa Hi Syl
How lovely to read a sonnet from you - I h... May 5 14, 17:04 Thoth Hi Syl
How wonderful that you wrote a Sonnet... Jun 17 14, 07:55 Psyche Hi Wally!
I'm back...I think!
Thanks ... Jun 25 14, 23:37 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
 |
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 9th July 2025 - 19:08 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
