Last Supper *** (revision + tweaks) Options

[Eisa]

I have revised this using Merlin's suggestion for formatting.
Also, a few tweaks a: Lori's suggestion
b: I've brought the cricket in later, hopefully keeping the surprise until the end lines. Also missed out 'crunch' as it might give away the cricket too early.

Last Supper

Oblivious to fate,
they gorge on carrots
and thirst quenching fruit,
before being thrust
into the leopard’s den.

In a shadowy niche,
the predator
lurks --
......... stirs
as prey scuttles near.
Eyes wide he watches,
..........begins to stalk.
Excited,
tail trembling
.........he pounces!

Shaping a smile,
his mouth is loaded
......as legs wriggle,
..............guts ooze
a cricket feast
for my leopard gecko.


-----------------------------------------------
Last Supper

Oblivious to fate's hand
they gorge until stuffed
on carrots
and thirst quenching fruit,
before being thrust
into the leopard’s den.

In a dark niche, the predator
lurks -- stirs as prey scuttles near.
Eyes wide he watches,
begins to stalk.
Excited,
tail trembling
he pounces …
crunch!

Shaping a smile,
his mouth is loaded
with cricket
legs wriggling,
guts oozing --
a wholesome feast
for my leopard gecko.

[Thoth]

Hello Snow

Yes, it put a smile on my face. Thank you for that

Made me think of what we call in Africa the "Little Five". The "Big five" are;

Elephant, Rhino, Buffalo, Lion & Leopard

Now the "Little five" are:

Elephant shrew, Rhino beetle, Buffalo weaver, Ant-lion and (you guessed it) Leopard tortoise!

Well if your poem was about the leopard tortoise there would have have been no need for the crickets since he is a vegetarian. But that would have been oh-so boring.

Thanks for the smiles

Hugz,

Wal