 The Touch "small tweaks", A Sonnet |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Poetry Forums > Fixed Form and Rhyming Poetry for Critique -> Herme's Homilies
 Jan 20 12, 12:05
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 Creative Chieftain  Posts: 11,825 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in.  |
The Touch
Their soundless screams reverberate with grief that pierces hearts for all the centuries of fading life. While scions, stem and leaf, lie crushed beneath their ancient weight. No breeze shall herald new beginnings in the spring or sculpt the emerald crowns upon each head. Strong bastions from the storms that summer brings are laid in waste. Small denizens have fled their home and larder, solace now denied by death. No songs will greet the morn’ to surge in airy heights, where once the swallow plied. A mournful sound, as though a quiet dirge now permeates this devastated glade created from the touch of soulless blade. L10 did begin with "to all". L9 did read: by death. No songs to greet the morn’ converge ·······  ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner       |
  
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Feb 9 12, 14:40
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Creative Chieftain Posts: 11,825 Joined: 15-June 07 From: Springfield, Louisiana Member No.: 446 Real Name: Larry D. Jennings Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Just wondered in. |
Hi Syl & Lori,
Thanks for the visit/read/comments. Sylvia, it was very tough to watch the devastation but not being an owner of the land, there was little I could say about it. Hope your stepdaughter's husband is better. Lori, thanks for the input and I have been mulling over your suggestion for a few days and believe I've arrived at a suitably strong revision to "for all". I just wanted to make it clear that the clear cutting deprived every creature (including man) from the enjoyment of nature and being a tiny part of something beautiful. Check out the change; hope it's strong enough. Larry ······· ·······When power leads man toward arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the areas of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.
John Fitzgerald Kennedy Kindness is a seed sown by the gentlest hand, growing care's flowers. Larry D. Jennings MM Award Winner |
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 Feb 25 12, 20:00
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Larry,
 BRAVO!  Small denizens have fled their home and larder, solace now denied by death. No songs to greet the morn’ converge in airy heights, where once the swallow plied. MUCH better - I'm so glad you have taken my suggestion and have come up with a much more dynamic and potent substitute, IMHO. YAY!  Glad to have been of service. HUGZ Lori  QUOTE (Larry @ Feb 9 12, 14:40 )  Lori, thanks for the input and I have been mulling over your suggestion for a few days and believe I've arrived at a suitably strong revision to "for all". I just wanted to make it clear that the clear cutting deprived every creature (including man) from the enjoyment of nature and being a tiny part of something beautiful. Check out the change; hope it's strong enough.
Larry ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner       |
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Posts in this topic
Larry The Touch "small tweaks" Jan 20 12, 12:05 
Alan Dear Larry,
Am I being picky here, or is there so... Jan 21 12, 01:26 Thoth What a powerful satire Larry!
Deforestation i... Jan 21 12, 14:16 Larry Hi Alan and Wally,
Thanks for the visit and the k... Jan 21 12, 15:29 Alan Dear Larry,
When I express ignorance, I fully exp... Jan 21 12, 15:47 Psyche A beautiful and sad sonnet, Larry. It's incred... Jan 21 12, 19:18 ohsteve Larry, as always I am still a fan of your beautifu... Jan 22 12, 14:20 
Psyche QUOTE (ohsteve @ Jan 22 12, 21:20 ) Larry... Jan 25 12, 03:11 Larry Hi Alan, Syl*** and Steve,
Alan, my "book-la... Jan 24 12, 01:26 Psyche QUOTE (Larry @ Jan 24 12, 08:26 ) Hi Alan... Jan 25 12, 03:24 Cleo_Serapis Hi Larry,
What a powerful message. One would *ho... Feb 5 12, 18:10 AMETHYST Hello LARRY!!!! Yippee -
It has b... Feb 11 12, 07:48 Larry And Hello once more Liz,
I should write nothing b... Feb 11 12, 15:55 AMETHYST Hi Again Larry,
Oh your Sonnets as well as many ... Feb 11 12, 17:16 Alan Dear Larry,
Further to your exchange with Liz (pr... Feb 11 12, 15:59 JustDaniel What more could I now say than what's been sai... Feb 27 12, 09:51 Larry Hi Lori & Daniel,
Glad you both approve and I... Feb 28 12, 15:06 MFK Buckley Hello Larry! It was a pleasure to read and re-... Mar 6 12, 00:59 Larry Hi Fran,
Thanks for the visit and the read; glad ... Mar 7 12, 14:24 JustDaniel Hey, Larry
I simply had to visit this fine sonnet... Mar 25 13, 19:50 Larry Hi Daniel,
Thanks for revisiting this and for you... Mar 26 13, 11:47 JustDaniel Yes, Larry...
I understand not coming back to mak... Mar 26 13, 11:56 Larry Thanks Daniel,
This instance has made me mindful ... Mar 26 13, 18:32 JustDaniel I'm rather certain that I and many others have... Apr 5 13, 13:37 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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