The Touch "small tweaks", A Sonnet Options

[Larry]

The Touch

Their soundless screams reverberate with grief
that pierces hearts for all the centuries
of fading life. While scions, stem and leaf,
lie crushed beneath their ancient weight. No breeze

shall herald new beginnings in the spring
or sculpt the emerald crowns upon each head.
Strong bastions from the storms that summer brings
are laid in waste. Small denizens have fled

their home and larder, solace now denied
by death. No songs will greet the morn’ to surge
in airy heights, where once the swallow plied.
A mournful sound, as though a quiet dirge

now permeates this devastated glade
created from the touch of soulless blade.


L10 did begin with "to all".

L9 did read: by death. No songs to greet the morn’ converge

[AMETHYST]

Hello LARRY!!!! Yippee -

It has been way too long for me to keep myself from your poetry. I feel starved and hungry now, just nibbling on "The Touch" - After reading this I am hungrier!!!

After reading the background story on this I saw those little in between the line hooks that are silent but have further meaning. Such as in L1, soundless, has so much greater meaning and depth when I read the poem after the background that inspired it.

There is an angelic tone within the lines, descriptions light and full bring a soulfulness to the piece. Even in the sadness, there is seen a hope, tinging the images and presence of the poetry. Of course I have no nits about the poem, because I cannot see one word out of place. The only thought that I had to offer was regarding the title. After learning about the story of the acreage, the title sort of fell short for me. However, I may not be familiar with certain language that coincides with trees or harvesting them.

It did however, leave me feeling sad for the loss of them.

Big Hugs, Liz