Set Free, Trijan Refrain Options

[heartsong7]

Set Free

The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her loved ones slain or gone.
The rebels steal the wealth they seek,
then rape and hurry on.
Now all is lost, she has no will,
though help lies just beyond the hill.
Now all is lost,
now all is lost;
her baby boy lies cold and still.

The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her husband left them all
He ran away, afraid and meek;
she saw him trip and fall.
They took his head and left him there
to rot where not a soul would care.
They took his head,
they took his head;
she saw its empty, icy stare.

The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her journey’s burden great.
Her arms grow tired; her body weak.
She can no longer wait.
She’s going home at last... tonight
beyond the brilliant pulsing light,
she’s going home.
She’s going home,
the end of suffering's in sight.

[AMETHYST]

SUE!!!!!!!!!

This brought me to tears. The form was created for this very poem. The depth of drama and detail are astonishing. The repetitive lines are exactly what is needed to draw the reader into the despair, the grief, loss and finally, hope that dying can bring in the face of suffering.

This is crazy wonderful poetry. First, the meter is rhymes are flawless to my ear. Each syllable is purposeful and wisely chosen. The images are striking --- some even painfully raw and powerful.

[quote]Set Free

Strong title. It reassures the subjects need.


The road is dark; the sky is bleak;
her loved ones killed or gone.
The rebels steal the wealth they seek,
then rape and hurry on.
Now all is lost, she has no will,
though help lies just beyond the hill.
Now all is lost,
now all is lost;
her baby boy lies cold and still.

Perhaps a substitute for killed might be slayed -

I only have cheers for the imagery the remaining stanza's unveil for the reader. This is powerful and thoughtful, in light of the incidents that occur in so many other countries everyday, this seems to, in some way, reflect the horrors of those happenings.

A powerful and heart wrenching tale woven with perfect meter and rhymes in the form that truly accentuates the emotions.

Big Hugs, Liz

Wish I could have left you more, however once again, you offer what I consider the best of the best in poetry.