Sojourn ~ Quatrain Refrain, Form Created by me and named by Lori Kantor Options

[AMETHYST]

Another older Poem for last minute revisions -


********Revision 1 *****TY SUE AND SNOW ******

A candle quivers on the sill,
inviting travelers passing by
a welcome refuge from the chill,
and still no one has come inside.

At dusk, her kindled hearth is bright,
a coffee pot is freshly filled
and flakey biscuits served up right;
a candle quivers on the sill.

She sits and stares, as shadows dance
into the ebon evening sky,
in hopes her candle will entrance;
inviting travellers passing by.

It feels like winter never ends
for Beauty Belle has fallen ill,
and yet, she waits to offer friends
a welcome refuge from the chill.

Tonight, no dreams of love's embrace,
her breathless body's calm; Belle died.
No candle burns, no hearth, no grace...
and still no one has come inside.



Sojourn--Quatrain Refrain

A candle quivers on the sill,
inviting all who happen by.
Although so many pass at will,
the doorknob still has not been tried.

At dusk, the hearth is kindled bright,
a pot of coffee freshly filled,
and biscuits baked. Her wick ignites;
a candle quivers on the sill.

She sits and stares, as shadows dance
into the black of midnight sky,
in hopes her flicker will entrance;
inviting all who happen by.

The winter's wind has been no friend
to Beauty Belle, who's fallen ill.
She waits alone till evening's end,
although so many pass at will.

Tonight, no dreams of love's embrace,
her breathless body calm; Belle died.
No candle burns, no hearth, no grace...
the doorknob still has not been tried.

[AMETHYST]

Hi Sue,

Thank you so much for the depth and suggestions. I love the changes to the first stanza, that will effect each stanza to follow. I especially love the suggestions for L2/L3 ... I thnk L4 still needs some reworking but the meaning and flow of the stanza now holds a little more power because of the personal detail that has been added.

It isn't an inn, just an elderly woman who, once had many, many visitors and has not been alone for so long. Years ago, not only inns, but homes use to put a candle in their window to invite strangers and friends in for a warm place to stop, some food to eat and some times a place to sleep. In her loneliness, she wanted anyone to come visit her.

I love the use of travellers and will be making my next revsion with the use of much of what you've offered. I wish I could borrow your mind for a day or two, revise my poetry, and perhaps write some magnificent works of art and then I would give it back to you ... 'maybe' ... HAHAHA

Love you so much, thank you for the excellent feedback and platforms for me to start working through -

Hugs, Liz