 OUR SAVIOUR FROM THE TORIES, Political posturing |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Poetry for Crit Prior to 2011
 Apr 6 10, 04:51
Post
#1
|
|
 Laureate Legionnaire  Posts: 3,446 Joined: 16-October 06 From: UK Member No.: 298 Real Name: Alan McAlpine Douglas Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Lori/Eisa/loads of old friends  |
OUR SAVIOUR FROM THE TORIES
(6 May 2010, general election date announced) Sad profile of my bank account, the complete texture of my life; He’s sheltered me from much self-harm by taxes, excised with state knife. With His moonlight, in soft focus, He spin doctors and tells us lies; on balance I’m much better off. Oh look, there is a pig that flies ! In short cameo performance, He pretends he’s minister, Prime, dispelling my prosperity : Please, River Thames, drown His foul crime. Alan McAlpine Douglas Challenge words : profile texture shelter moonlight balance cameo dispel river ·······  ······· |
  
|
|
 |
Replies
|
Apr 17 10, 09:22
Post
#2
|
|
 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Alan,
I've come to the 'tea party' to late!  You've made some good tweaks already! I crack up over this line:Oh look, there is a pig that flies !  The change in the closing to 'drown His foul crime'. One Q: Are we to infer that ny using 'His' is a god-like pun of power? Cheers, ~Cleo 
······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
|
|
|
Posts in this topic
Alan OUR SAVIOUR FROM THE TORIES Apr 6 10, 04:51 
ohsteve Alan, Too political for me, I got my own Obama idi... Apr 6 10, 11:14 Sekhmet Hey Steve - We poor Brits have to listen to month ... Apr 7 10, 01:31 Alan Dear Leo,
Thank you for riding to battle for me ... Apr 7 10, 01:55 Sekhmet Sorry Alan - Of course, you are absolutely right. ... Apr 7 10, 04:41 Arnfinn G'day Alan
Written while munching on acid dr... Apr 7 10, 05:27 Alan Dear Leo,
Well now, The CAPS were deliberate, ref... Apr 7 10, 09:11 Alan Dear John,
Thank you, I was drinking neat sulphur... Apr 7 10, 09:13 ohsteve Alan, Leo, I think Alan understood perfectly what ... Apr 8 10, 13:37 Sekhmet Oh Steve! There you go again! Where was y... Apr 9 10, 04:00 Sekhmet I have received a personal message rocket from fro... Apr 11 10, 01:48 Cleo_Serapis Hello Alan et al,
Sorry there seems to have been ... Apr 11 10, 09:16 ohsteve Alan I apologies for the possible misconception th... Apr 11 10, 19:59 Sekhmet Alan - I am very very sorry to see your poem being... Apr 12 10, 01:58 4rum Dear Alan;
I can certainly identify with your e... Apr 12 10, 03:44 Alan Dear Leo and Sam,
Thank you both for the comments... Apr 13 10, 09:17 Larry Hey Alan,
Nice use of the given words. Sometimes... Apr 16 10, 14:14 Eisa Hi Alan
I do admire your ability to use challeng... Apr 16 10, 14:43 Alan Dear Larry,
Thank you, spot on, now "fouler... Apr 17 10, 01:22 Alan Dear Eisa,
Thank you too, more fine spots ! I... Apr 17 10, 01:27 
Alan Dear Lori,
Thanks for the visit. Glad you approve... Apr 17 10, 10:10 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
 |
|
Lo-Fi Version | Time is now: 3rd September 2025 - 12:56 |
Read our FLYERS - click below
|
| more Quotes |
| ||
|
|
|
|
