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Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Apr 13 10, 06:03
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 Assyrian  Posts: 273 Joined: 21-July 07 From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween Member No.: 456 Real Name: Sam Richmond Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:N/A  |
George hurried home for a nooner
When he was eclipsed by a lunar Missing his mark There in the dark Poor George instead faced a mooner ·······  ······· Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam
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Apr 14 10, 07:13
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
 !I would add a beat to the last line - you could do so easily with "Georgie". Fun read! ~C;ep "Read: ······· ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner          |
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Apr 14 10, 11:22
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Assyrian Posts: 273 Joined: 21-July 07 From: somewhere twixt 'n' tween Member No.: 456 Real Name: Sam Richmond Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:N/A |
QUOTE (Cleo_Serapis @ Apr 14 10, 07:13 )  !I would add a beat to the last line - you could do so easily with "Georgie". Fun read! ~C;ep "Read: George hurried home for a nooner When he was eclipsed by a lunar Missing his mark There in the dark Poor Georgie instead faced a mooner Thanks Lori  'rum ······· ······· Values are to integrity as spirit to spirituality ... the one is needed that the other is sustained ~ Sam
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Posts in this topic
4rum Lunar Mooner Apr 13 10, 06:03 
Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Sam,
I like four of the lines very much but do... Apr 13 10, 16:43 
4rum QUOTE (Peggy Carpenter Harwood @ Apr 13 10, 1... Apr 14 10, 11:18 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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