 Poetic Challenge using Longfellow's "Excelsior" |
  Feb 27 10, 07:54
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep  |
Hi all,
Based on the success of the Robert Frost challenges here in Karnak, I'll throw a new (old) poet into the mix.  This one is a bit longer with nine quatrains.  Taking Longfellow's Excelsior poem below, create your own using the same end words of each line. ONE REQUIREMENT - REPLACE the word "Excelsior" with something else of your choosing and it should also be your title.. Good luck! ~Cleo QUOTE Excelsior
The shades of night were falling fast, As through an Alpine village passed A youth, who bore, 'mid snow and ice, A banner with the strange device, Excelsior! His brow was sad; his eye beneath, Flashed like a falchion from its sheath, And like a silver clarion rung The accents of that unknown tongue, Excelsior! In happy homes he saw the light Of household fires gleam warm and bright; Above, the spectral glaciers shone, And from his lips escaped a groan, Excelsior! "Try not the Pass!" the old man said: "Dark lowers the tempest overhead, The roaring torrent is deep and wide! And loud that clarion voice replied, Excelsior! "Oh stay," the maiden said, "and rest Thy weary head upon this breast!" A tear stood in his bright blue eye, But still he answered, with a sigh, Excelsior! "Beware the pine-tree's withered branch! Beware the awful avalanche!" This was the peasant's last Good-night, A voice replied, far up the height, Excelsior! At break of day, as heavenward The pious monks of Saint Bernard Uttered the oft-repeated prayer, A voice cried through the startled air, Excelsior! A traveller, by the faithful hound, Half-buried in the snow was found, Still grasping in his hand of ice That banner with the strange device, Excelsior! There in the twilight cold and gray, Lifeless, but beautiful, he lay, And from the sky, serene and far, A voice fell, like a falling star, Excelsior! Copyright © Henry Wadsworth Longfellow ·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
  
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 Mar 11 10, 17:07
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 Greek  Posts: 743 Joined: 3-February 09 From: Abingdon, Oxfordshire,UK Member No.: 754 Real Name: Leonora Wyatt Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:No one at all |
Today is the opening day of one of the greatest dog shows in the world. Crufts. Here,the finest dogs, (all Supreme Champions in their own countries), gather for the accolade of, ' Best in Breed'.
I thought a little doggerel, giving the thoughts of a St Bernard, might be in order, today of all days. BEST IN BREED The time is now approaching fast. Two years from my birth have passed. Now ends the winter's snow and ice; soon will I bear that great device - Best in Breed! The judges poke about beneath; investigate my penile sheath My withers well and truly wrung; no fault is found with teeth or tongue. Best in Breed! Not too heavy, not too light. Brown eyes shining, clear and bright. Burnished coat, with brushing shone; not one burr to cause a groan, Best in Breed! 'Born to win!' I've heard it said Experts, whispering overhead. ''Aren't his eyes a trifle wide?' 'I can't fault him'. one replied. Best in Breed! To my stall, to get some rest. Hear my Master's beating breast. Regard him with a bloodshot eye. Settle down, and heave a sigh. Best in Breed! Bad genes ousted, root and branch. Bred to face an avalanche. Calm by day, and brave by night; my massive prowess, at its height. Best in Breed! My Master's prayer drifts heavenward. 'Please look upon this Saint Bernard. God, grant an answer to my prayer that we may snatch, from out the air, Best in Breed! A weighty task for any Hound, that such perfection must be found, in dogs just bred for snow and ice to win a be-ribboned strange device Best in Breed! New dawn , breaking, cold and grey. In homely kennel - now I lay. My name renowned both near and far, for now, I bear that rosette star. Best in Breed!
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Posts in this topic
Cleo_Serapis Poetic Challenge using Longfellow's "Excelsior" Feb 27 10, 07:54 
Larry Farewell
Life’s shadow faded much too fast
to see... Feb 28 10, 10:34 Larry HELLO, hello, ello, lo, o.
Since no one else seem... Mar 2 10, 14:56 Larry Is there anybody out there? Are nine quatrains to... Mar 7 10, 23:29 Cleo_Serapis Hey Larry - WOW! You are a writing machine... Mar 8 10, 06:41 Larry Hi Lori,
Finally, some one came to poor Karnak... Mar 9 10, 18:24 Sekhmet Yes! There is still a little life life at Kar... Mar 12 10, 02:23 Larry Hi Leo,
Thanks for the nomination. Too bad that ... Mar 15 10, 08:59 Larry Ta-Daa! An answer to the challenge in SQ form... Mar 17 10, 14:09 ohsteve Larry!!! Good lord man, I've just ... Mar 17 10, 20:36 Larry Hi Steve,
I enjoy a good challenge and since Long... Mar 18 10, 07:46 Cleo_Serapis Hi Leo,
Welcome to the FUN! I enjoyed your ... Mar 26 10, 13:50 Cleo_Serapis Larry, Larry, Larry!
WOW - I'm very impre... Mar 26 10, 13:55 Sekhmet Hello Cleo! Thanks for finding time to look at... Mar 27 10, 04:22 Cleo_Serapis Hi Leo,
Ah, the dreaded times ten words; I say th... Mar 28 10, 09:18 Cleo_Serapis Hi Larry,
You have inspired my muse (first stanza... Apr 22 10, 09:40 Cleo_Serapis Hi Larry et al,
I'm back with a few more sta... Jun 11 10, 11:16 Cleo_Serapis Slight change to the refrain L5 and added stanza/.... Jun 14 10, 10:33 Alan Kentucky Fried !
The shades of night were fal... May 2 12, 17:34 Larry Hi Alan,
Glad you enjoyed the read and hopefully,... May 4 12, 15:34 Alan Dear Larry,
Yes, I enjoyed many of the preceding ... May 6 12, 03:10 Larry Hi Alan,
There is more than a "kernal" ... May 6 12, 08:26 Alan Dear Larry,
Here :
DEATH TO THE LITTERATI
Munch... May 6 12, 10:34 JustDaniel fried
chicken
is to be
eaten without
fork Jul 18 14, 14:29 
Larry Thought I'd restart the "Excelsior" ... Aug 8 14, 13:36 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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