 Quiet, another Haiku |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Jul 8 09, 17:42
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 Babylonian  Posts: 87 Joined: 27-November 06 Member No.: 361 Real Name: Ross Baird Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Mysty  |
Been critiquing the haikus and sewnuru's of others...so felt I should give everyone a shot at one of mine:
Quiet
The morning despairs... silence across the table... a still death of love. ace |
  
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Aug 1 09, 13:00
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 Ornate Oracle  Posts: 10,061 Joined: 27-August 04 From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia Member No.: 78 Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:David Ting |
I absolutely agree with Peggy about the punctuation. Those semi-colons spoil the effect. I've been reading up about Haiku, etc., and nowadays we have "free form haiku", which is being used a lot. But it's perfectly all right to stick to tradition. 5-7-5 was actually introduced long ago by a Japanese poet to the English language. But in Japan the Haiku was/is written on a single line...! So if we have FV haiku, then the content should also be free, methinks. Punctuation is an aesthetic issue, and I agree with Peggy all the way! Syl*** ·······  ·······Mis temas favoritos
The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you. "There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction." Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here! MM Award Winner              |
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Posts in this topic
ace Quiet Jul 8 09, 17:42 
Marc-Andre Germain Hi Ace,
You've captured a moment, and it... Jul 8 09, 21:56 prerna bala yeah, i think the haiku of yours captures the mome... Jul 22 09, 05:30 Arnfinn G'day, Mate.
The morning despairs; >... Jul 27 09, 07:56 alice Hi Ace,
I believe haiku is a very visual art form... Jul 28 09, 09:20 Cleo_Serapis Hi Ace,
I'm still trying to learn these short... Jul 28 09, 20:00 Psyche Hi ace!
How strange it is that different line... Jul 31 09, 22:31 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Ace,
The problem with senryus is that what... Aug 1 09, 07:28 
ace Peggy * Syl:
You are both completely correct. ... Aug 1 09, 16:35 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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