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HAIKU AND SENRYU, From double comp (oldie) |
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Mar 2 09, 09:52
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Ornate Oracle
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Posts: 9,097
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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I'm also learning (irregularly), to write short forms. Please feel free to crit only one, these went together, can't strictly remember why....LOL....
Haiku
We gossip, drink tea, breezy bamboo porch soothes us. Bees pollinate buds.
Senryu
Coffee-shop chatter, mauve mouths munch Danish pastries. Blind tramp passes cap.
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Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner ![](http://www.mosaicmusings.net/images/IBPCtn.jpg)
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Apr 22 09, 20:02
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Ornate Oracle
![Group Icon](style_images/antique/folder_team_icons/mod.gif)
Group: Praetorian
Posts: 9,097
Joined: 27-August 04
From: Bariloche, Argentine Patagonia
Member No.: 78
Real Name: Sylvia Evelyn Maclagan
Writer of: Poetry & Prose
Referred By:David Ting
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OK, point taken, Peggy. But I think the second one, the one I believe can be a Senryu, does show a universal trait of human nature, albeit a nasty one. The people drink coffee and 'mauve mouths' (women's, of course) eat away, indifferent to the blind tramp passing his cap. My idea is that their indifference is because he can't see, so why bother about him? I'm sure he can smell the delicious coffee and muffins....poor man.
Will see how I can fix the first one.
Thanks so much for your help, Peggy.
Syl***
······· ![IPB](style_images/antique/sigsep.gif) ·······
Mis temas favoritos The Lord replied, my precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.
"There is no life higher than the grasstops Or the hearts of sheep, and the wind Pours by like destiny, bending Everything in one direction."
Sylvia Plath, Crossing the Water, Wuthering Heights. Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!MM Award Winner ![](http://www.mosaicmusings.net/images/IBPCtn.jpg)
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Posts in this topic
Psyche HAIKU AND SENRYU Mar 2 09, 09:52 ohsteve Sylvia, Nice warm picture this depicts on such a c... Mar 2 09, 11:21 ace Sylvia;
Nice alliteration and imagery in both.
... Apr 5 09, 15:25 Psyche Thank you, Steve, for stopping in here. I apologiz... Apr 5 09, 22:59 Psyche Thank you, ace. Do you write Haikus? I shall go ta... Apr 5 09, 23:10 Arnfinn G'day Sylv,
Not too sure about the second poe... Apr 21 09, 00:59 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Sylv,
Short forms are fun, aren't they? I... Apr 21 09, 10:21 Psyche Oh my, Arnie & Peggy, I just jump in without s... Apr 22 09, 19:28 Psyche Hi again!
I decided to take the road of least... Apr 22 09, 19:43 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Syl,
I suggest you do a little research on the... Apr 22 09, 19:54 Peggy Carpenter Harwood Hi Syl,
I agree whole heartedly that the second o... Apr 22 09, 20:27 Arnfinn Hi,
Just call me. MR CONfusion.
Anyone for a cu... Apr 23 09, 06:33 Marc-Andre Germain Sylvia,
I like the second one (the senryu). I thi... May 6 09, 22:16 ![|](style_images/antique/to_down_pipe.gif) Psyche Mark, I apologise for the delay in answering. Than... May 11 09, 20:23 Marc-Andre Germain Sylvia,
It is indeed the tradition in Japanese ha... May 14 09, 13:13 Keith Hello Sylvia, really nice examples of both forms, ... May 15 09, 03:49
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