 Skyline View [revised 29 Mar 2009], a haiku |
Mosaic Musings...interactive poetry reviews > Archives > Archives > ARCHIVES -> Short Form Poetry -> Shogun's Psalms
 Mar 18 09, 17:02
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 Babylonian  Posts: 87 Joined: 27-November 06 Member No.: 361 Real Name: Ross Baird Writer of: Poetry Referred By:Mysty  |
White clouds stripe the sky as a jet skis beneath them, schussin snow swept peaks. ace Original third line: heading o'er mountains |
  
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Mar 21 09, 17:40
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 Mosaic Master  Posts: 18,892 Joined: 1-August 03 From: Massachusetts Member No.: 2 Real Name: Lori Kanter Writer of: Poetry & Prose Referred By:Imhotep |
Hi Ace,
Isn't it fun to watch nature? I love it myself!  I can't say that I understand Haiku enough to be useful, however, I thought I'd toss out an idea to add that 'nature' element I believe it needs: dusting (or painting) snow-capped hills. Or something along those lines (or for Spring maybe something about peeping blossoms)? Enjoyed! ~Cleo  
·······  ·······"It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step into the Road, and if you don't keep your feet, there is no knowing where you might be swept off to." ~ J.R.R Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings
Collaboration feeds innovation. In the spirit of workshopping, please revisit those threads you've critiqued to see if the author has incorporated your ideas, or requests further feedback from you. In addition, reciprocate with those who've responded to you in kind. "I believe it is the act of remembrance, long after our bones have turned to dust, to be the true essence of an afterlife." ~ Lorraine M. Kanter Nominate a poem for the InterBoard Poetry Competition by taking into careful consideration those poems you feel would best represent Mosaic Musings. For details, click into the IBPC nomination forum. Did that poem just captivate you? Nominate it for the Faery award today! If perfection of form allured your muse, propose the Crown Jewels award. For more information, click here!  "Worry looks around, Sorry looks back, Faith looks up." ~ Early detection can save your life.MM Award Winner           |
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Posts in this topic
ace Skyline View [revised 29 Mar 2009] Mar 18 09, 17:02 
Arnfinn G'day Ace,
Haiku, the poet writes about a mom... Mar 19 09, 01:22 ace Thank you, John. They are fun to write aren't... Mar 21 09, 14:46 ace Cleo:
Thank you for the read and the comment. I ... Mar 27 09, 17:05 Arnfinn Hi Ace,
Nah, I don't think 'shussing... Mar 28 09, 04:53 Cleo_Serapis Hi Ace,
Not sure about 'shushing' - how a... Mar 28 09, 09:07 ace John and Cleo:
You know what? I think I'll t... Mar 29 09, 14:44 Cleo_Serapis Very nice Ace!
I think it is a haiku since y... Mar 29 09, 17:22 Psyche Hi ace,
This is indeed a lovely Haiku. But I conf... Apr 5 09, 23:16 ace Syl:
Have to admit my ignorance...don't kn... Apr 14 09, 14:49 
Arnfinn G'day Ross,
Dunno, about in mixing different ... Apr 21 09, 00:47 1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
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