Summers Day [revised 06 Sep] Options

[Arnfinn]

With thanks to Lori.

Revision 18/09/2008


Footsteps: tread gently.
Bees a-buzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Aphids in white jackets.
Flowers; confusion of colour.
A hot summer's breeze-
on my cheek.



Revision 6th September 2008


Footsteps; tread gently,
bees a-buzz,
aphid's in white jackets,
flowers, confusions of colour.

A hot summers breeze-
on my cheek.



REVISION. AS summers day 4/9/2008


summers day

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i neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever promised YYYYYYYYYYYYYou a Rose Garden.

john


Summers Day


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Did you hear that?

Hear what!

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Arnfinn

[Arnfinn]

Hi Lori,


You know whatttt, Lori?


Yooooooooooooo are so right.

Repucturating my poem, in view of your views, transistorises the whole scene, if you know what I mean.

For instance 'Footsteps' can tread in so many different ways. :::::::
And the followingssss are all 'stand alone' statements. ...................

You have once again rescued 'I' from iniquitous, injunctions

I must without due haste, return to my poem, and carry out a complete rescheduling placement of my marks.


Footsteps: tread gently.

Bees a-buzzzzzzzzzzzz. <<<< Love, the buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, word

Aphids in white jackets. <<<< I WAS pleased with my description of aphids. They dooo wear white jackets and 'bowties' you know,

Flowers; confusion of colour. <<< N' I thought this was good a collective noun for mixed coloured flowers: confusion.

NNNnny way

Thank you again.

Been thinking about, changing forms, sgood idea. However, It'll take a long time dooo +revision. Might be a better Idea, to make it a joint effort of all the members.

Some members are specialists: Ron for one.


John